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Thread: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

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    FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Discuss the promos. If you would like a review, please provide one yourself first.


    "The Golden One" Devin Golden

    3x FWA World Heavyweight Champion
    2x FWA X Champion
    4x FWA Tag Team Champion
    Final record: 94-58-10


    Shannon O'Neal
    2x FWA Women's Champion
    1x FWA World Champion


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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Really enjoyed the Nova/Cromwell promo. Thought the stream of consciousness style of the first half was cracking. It was a really inventive and neat way of having the promo flow from one guy to the other whilst not taking you out of (either) scene. It was interesting seeing the back-story of these two hinted at and I hope that's something you plan to develop going forward in the tournament. I think the content of the Cromwell/Nova dialogue was good, but towards the end it felt maybe a little too blocky? Like, you both had lots to say and the things you had to say were relevant and interesting, but I think maybe it would have read more naturally if they didn't feel like mostly separate monologues? That's definitely something I'm guilty of too so who am I to judge?! But yeah, I thought this was inventive and creative and exactly what I was hoping for from this tournament.

    With The Valanders, again I think you made the promo very relevant to the boys' current place within the fed (if not necessarily about the current match), especially with Louis' borderline obsession with Gabrielle. Although there is some humour in this and my curiosity is piqued, I think maybe trying not to become too one-note with that will be important. I've mentioned before that I think your writing could be improved by some more descriptive passages (or sentences) between dialogue. At the moment there's very little to set the scene beyond what the boys are saying. For instance, in the line where Mike says 'seriously what the hell?!' to Louis, doing something like removing that line of dialogue and conveying that feeling from Mike with description (i.e. 'Mike turned to his brother, and cocked an eyebrow. Clearly, he wanted more loyalty from his brother...') or something like that would get the same point across and also give the promo more variation? I do think there's potential in the obsession angle that you seem to be going for, if done carefully.

    With the UA, this one seemed a lot more directly about this match as oppose to the FWA in general than the Valander promo, which is obviously fine and works well with a first round match. I enjoyed the allusions to Payback and the tweet in the middle was a cool touch that spiced the promo up. I thought the banter between Savage and Fenix was definitely the highlight - the two characters work really well together and play off each other nicely. It was also nice to see the UA take a bit of a lighter approach to this one after the rage we've witnessed from them over the past two PPVs.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Ooops. Wrong thread lol

    Tough times don't last, tough people do.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Mitch (Donovan Moore) needs a 12-hour emergency extension so I'm granting this for everyone in the FWA, including the opponents Prodigy (Parr) and SJW(Krash) as well.

    People who have posted theirs already will get an extra 12 hours for next show.
    Last edited by The Golden One; 06-27-2020 at 10:14 PM.


    "The Golden One" Devin Golden

    3x FWA World Heavyweight Champion
    2x FWA X Champion
    4x FWA Tag Team Champion
    Final record: 94-58-10


    Shannon O'Neal
    2x FWA Women's Champion
    1x FWA World Champion


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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Really enjoyed the separate yet crossing promos from Golden and Ramon. Cool concept that I actually think would be a great idea fleshed out entirely for a future promo. Like a Pulp Fiction sort of thing.

    Mr. Franchise really enjoyed your promo and the details put it. Some of your best work yet honestly. Your intro reads off super visually, which is so important to me. It sets the scene really. Dialog is good and there's A LOT of solid character development in this one, however sometimes I feel like less is more and in this case I felt there was just too many characters talking. We've got Eli, Mike, Laurie, Dr. Jones, and Eli's mom all popping in. With that said, Eli dominates the majority of the conversation in all segments which is really the important part. Super solid character building promo here.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Gonna pull a few names out of the hat o' reviews.

    Black Caramel: You two have almost instantly struck up a good conversational chemistry, and that's making this team feel more like a team than any other insofar. It doesn't feel like people taking turns to talk, it feels like two people talking in a proper conversation as it naturally occurs. I particularly like how even in the brief solo scenes the two are still connected with the birthday texts to Alyster. I think Black Caramel are one of the top favourites to win this tournament, and this piece has done nothing to change my mind on that.

    Danny Toner: I'm disappointed Mitch didn't get to promo, because I think you presented a very good effort in the form of a blog post. And in saying this as someone who doesn't really know Danny Toner or his history, I think it was a fantastic introspective and slash or recap piece. How Danny views his past self and the opportunities he lost out on with honesty is very refreshing, and tying into how he felt at the time to how he feels his tag partner is, it's a great reflection. Danny Toner, once the cockiest heel upstart, now the humble face, looking to revert the mistakes of his past and etch his name into history, is something I can get behind. Great stuff.

    MvH: Please print out a book chronicling the life and times of Michelle Von Horrowitz and I'll buy it immediately. I'm not kidding.

    Gerald Grayson: I like the tone, I love the first-person view, but it does look a bit... Bland. And I hate saying that, because it takes away the overall message of the promo. Perhaps the dream sequence could've been better served in italics to give it it's own separate section? A conversation within the dream with the referee or Gerald's relatives or the mysterious person he beat for the title, to further hammer in how much everyone wants him to succeed and/or how his goal is closer than he thinks, or something. I dunno.

    I'm not good at reviews.


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    I'm not good at signatures.


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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Black Caramel - enjoyed this promo, and it really felt like you were building towards something. It very much felt like the first in a set of promos. I agree with SJW that there was instant chemistry between the characters (that must hurt eh Krash) and it read extremely naturally. Black's birthday sequence was a bit sad tbh and hit me about a bit after my own quarantined 30th quite recently - the idea that he is happy self isolating (unofficially) on his birthday is quite telling and explains a lot about his reckless devil may care attitude. The bra gift - I know that Dragon has put on a little weight but this seemed harsh...

    Ramon and Golden - at first I was a little disappointed that you fellas weren't doing a joint promo, but after I'd got through them both I thought that this structure was perfect. The manner that the promos mirrored, touched upon a lot of similar themes, and the alternate descriptions for the same conversation was excellent. It did a good job of introducing the idea of friction between the two for those of us that weren't around, and I hope this is revisited and expanded upon in a future promo. I'd quite like to see you two do a more direct collaboration further into the tournament but this was a cool and novel idea.

    Milky G and Kayden Knox - I was really, really impressed by this promo, and in particular the Kayden section with Dr Grimes. The dialogue and the peering into Kayden's mind just felt so real and believable. I was honestly blown away by that section and actually found it affected me a lot more than a promo usually does. I read the Knox section again this morning and it really is excellent. Top work.

    I enjoyed both Grayson's and Eli's promo but reviewing your opponents sometimes seems maybe patronizing so reach out privately if you do want some thoughts .

    The first round of this tourney really hasn't disappointed - very strong work from everyone.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 06/26/2020

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperSaiyan View Post
    Black Caramel - enjoyed this promo, and it really felt like you were building towards something. It very much felt like the first in a set of promos. I agree with SJW that there was instant chemistry between the characters (that must hurt eh Krash) and it read extremely naturally. Black's birthday sequence was a bit sad tbh and hit me about a bit after my own quarantined 30th quite recently - the idea that he is happy self isolating (unofficially) on his birthday is quite telling and explains a lot about his reckless devil may care attitude. The bra gift - I know that Dragon has put on a little weight but this seemed harsh...

    Ramon and Golden - at first I was a little disappointed that you fellas weren't doing a joint promo, but after I'd got through them both I thought that this structure was perfect. The manner that the promos mirrored, touched upon a lot of similar themes, and the alternate descriptions for the same conversation was excellent. It did a good job of introducing the idea of friction between the two for those of us that weren't around, and I hope this is revisited and expanded upon in a future promo. I'd quite like to see you two do a more direct collaboration further into the tournament but this was a cool and novel idea.

    Milky G and Kayden Knox - I was really, really impressed by this promo, and in particular the Kayden section with Dr Grimes. The dialogue and the peering into Kayden's mind just felt so real and believable. I was honestly blown away by that section and actually found it affected me a lot more than a promo usually does. I read the Knox section again this morning and it really is excellent. Top work.

    I enjoyed both Grayson's and Eli's promo but reviewing your opponents sometimes seems maybe patronizing so reach out privately if you do want some thoughts .

    The first round of this tourney really hasn't disappointed - very strong work from everyone.
    Thanks man I been pulling alot lately in Knox with some of my own emotions and seriously writing his promos is genuinely emotionally draining at times.


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    ​Brayden Bridges








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