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Thread: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

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    Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine



    I had originally written one of these a few years back titling it "Vince Russo wins the Powerball" and had him buy out the WWE. However, after careful thought, I figured I'd keep it relevant to today's world and make it this. Not sure if anyone ever read the preface to that BTB but I had quite a few shows written for it yet never posted it as I found myself very limited on time back then. Luckily, everything was saved so I still have said episodes that just need certain tweaks to be good for today.












    CNN Breaking News:

    In a shocking turn of events, former WRESTLING personality Vince Russo has discovered a vaccine for COVID-19. Due to his found vaccine, the world was allowed to resume in its normal proceedings after an uneventful 3 months of quarantining and non-essential business shut downs. Vince McMahon fell ill from COVID-19 during the pandemic and recovered thanks to Vince Russo's vaccine. Vince Russo worked tirelessly with multiple scientists to find the vaccine as in Russo's words "I was getting bored since wrestling was gone and needed something to do BRO." McMahon, feeling indebted to Russo's heroics, had decided that he was working himself to death and wanted to enjoy his remaining years in retirement. Vince McMahon asked Russo if there as anything he could do for him to repay him for giving him a new lease on life. Vince Russo stated he also wanted a second chance to right some wrongs in his life and asked for complete ownership of the WWE in return. McMahon obliged without hesitation. Documents were made official and Vince Russo now owns the WWE.











    In his very first press conference as WWE chairman, Vince Russo proclaimed that he would be abolishing the idea of a "board of directors" stating that this was something that was created to "appease internet fans." Russo also took this opportunity to call out smarks and tell them they are not welcome in Vince Russo's WWE. In another crazy turn of events, Vince Russo proclaimed that while finding the vaccine for COVID-19, he and his group of monkey scientists also stumbled upon a creation so great it may change sports again as we know it. Russo states that a potion was invented to recreate an athlete's physique, stamina, strength and durability as if they were back in their prime despite their age. Just then, a reporter wearing a hat and sunglasses runs up on the podium and punches Russo before taking the sample of potion that Russo had displayed to the audience. The reporter is wearing a Rey Mysterio mask and removes it to reveal himself as Kevin Nash!! Kevin Nash then grabs his quad after removing his mask, seemingly tearing it in the process of removing the mask.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Brilliant. Swerved galore.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    This is so utterly ridiculous. You have my interest.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Clearly a labor of love and I hope there's more to come. Godspeed.
    [save]


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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    I can't work out if I find this light-hearted and in-cheek or insensitive and unfunny.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    I remember back along there was a booker in which then writer had killed off Vince McMahon in the backstory and some people commented it was in bad taste. I wish you stuck with the original backstory rather than use something that’s very real and very troubling on a global scale and use it to ham up the story. The lottery win would be ridiculous but it provides the drama without being insensitive.

    Good luck with your project, I hope that the future shows don’t refer back to this too much. I get that laughter is the best medicine but I think you already had a concept that worked, it didn’t need to go down this angle.



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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine





    WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW
    APRIL 6TH, 2020
    STAPLES CENTER

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine



    Vince Russo comes out and cuts a worked shoot on Kevin Nash. He says Nash has always done nothing but hold people down. He reiterates that Nash is the reason WCW went belly up and that Nash shall never be seen on Vince Russos WWE ever again. Russo puts over his new movement calling it the Russo Revolution, BRO! Just then, Kevin Nash comes out in a wheelchair after tearing his quad. Nash says Russos crappy booking and overinflated ego is why everything went under. And Nash is here to make sure he doesn't fuck up twice. Fans gasp at hearing a curse word on RAW. Nash calls Russo's "revolution" a bunch of BS and an excuse to push his own superstars. Russo looks irate and claims that Nash has taken it too far and kayfabe has died. Russo begins telling Nash about tonight's main event. To prove just how legitimate it is, tonight's main event will be Roman Reigns vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship. Kevin Nash looks unimpressed with the main event and calls Seth Rollins a vanilla midget. Russo slaps Nash across the face and exits the ring as Nash looks furious and knocks over the camera breaking the fourth wall in the process.




    The Undertaker is backstage summoning new members. Once the camera rolls in, he reveals that he is reigniting the Ministry of Darkness. He claims that his New Ministry shall lay waste to all who come in his path. Taker doesn't reveal any of the members and says they will reveal themselves soon enough.


    The New Day is at a local mall looking at sales. Xavier Woods tells all the fans at home that The New Day is looking for a mate for Franchesca. Woods looks sad at the revelation that Francheca will be moving on from him. Kofi says Xavier can now finally get himself a woman crush Wednesday like everyone else. As they are walking down, Big E stops the group and points at Hulk Hogan who is handing out flyers to Hot Dog on a Stick. The cameras close on Hogan without The New Day near yet. Just then, in the distance, "AWWWWWWWWW HULK HOGAN! DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR!" The New Day runs up to an embarrassed Hogan. Kofi asks what the hell Hogan is doing handing out weiners. Hogan says Vince fired him due to being allegedly racist after all those recordings came out of him using the N word. Big E then looks flabergasted. Xavier then begins playing funeral sounding music toward Hogan. Kofi looks confused saying he thought Vince got over it. Xavier tells Hogan he knows that all those allegations about his racism are hoopla. Woods tells Hogan that Vince Russo has bought out the WWE after winning the powerball. Big E tells Hogan that in a way to exercise the Power of Positivity, the New Day will help Hogan get his job back with the WWE. BECAAAAUUUSEEE... NEW DAY ROCKS! NEW DAY ROCKS! Woods is playing it on his trombone. Hogan begins to show a more cheerful and excited demeanor then asks Woods if he knows "Pick a Bale of Cotton." Hogan laughs as The New Day stare at him not laughing as if he crossed the line and they walk away from him.


    First Match
    Tyson Kidd vs Goldberg

    Tyson Kidd comes out next in the same attire as always but actually exhibits some character here. He's scheduled to go one on one with a mystery opponent. The lights go out after his entrance. A podium with the lights focused on it comes down. At that point, Goldberg's theme hits. Goldberg appears older and more worn out than before. The podium on stage appears to have some of the magical potion that Vince Russo and his scientists concocted. Goldberg takes a sip out of it and transforms similar to the way he did on the intro to the game WCW Mayhem. Goldberg's pyro then goes off and fans begin chanting GOLDBERG GOLDBERG even louder. The match up is underway and Goldberg nearly kills Tyson Kidd with a spear. This spear looks more vicious than the one he gave Christian in 2003. Yeah, THAT spear. Goldberg points up and hits a jackhammer on Kidd and picks up the win.





    After we return from a short intermission, Renee Young is backstage to get a word with Goldberg. Before he can say anything, he walks up to a mirror and stares at it in confusion. The camera focuses solely on Goldberg here. The camera man then runs around Goldberg and reveals that in the mirror is Ryback mimicking Goldberg. Goldberg walks away from the mirror and comes across a puddle. This puddle also reveals to Goldberg that his reflection is nothing but Ryback. Goldberg begins shake his head and pushes the cameraman away as he walks off in confusion.
    Second Match
    Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Jericho



    Chris Jericho comes out to a big pop from the fans. Jericho is scheduled to face Dolph Ziggler in this one on one match. Ziggler comes out to an okay pop but appears to be a bit conflicted coming out of the back. While the match is going on, the commentators put over how Jericho dated Ziggler's mom when he was younger and acted as a father figure to Ziggler growing up. JBL adds in that Jericho broke Ziggler's moms heart and Ziggler hasn't been the same since. In the middle of the match, Tyler Breeze comes out with his selfie stick and gives Ziggler a Zoolander style look. This seems to set something off in Ziggler and Ziggler beats Jericho into pool of his own sweat. (the show is still PG) The commentators say this is Ziggler doing this for his mom. Breeze and Ziggler walk off in victory.




    Vince Russo is in his office on the phone. He tells whoever he's speaking to that he can't wait until they arrive. Roman Reigns then walks in to a mixed reaction from the live crowd. Russo shakes hands with Reigns and tells Reigns how much he likes him. Russo says he respects Reigns for never pulling backstage politics. And whenever he was pushed, he responded with incredible performances. Russo exclaims how much he loved how he put Rollins over at WrestleMania when Rollins cashed in Money in the Bank. Reigns is keeping kayfabe by saying he didn't lay down for him on purpose. Russo gives him a look and says he won't have to worry about putting anyone over tonight. Reigns walks out looking confused.


    Eva Marie comes out to massive heat. Eva says she's taking over the divas division. And one by one, all the divas will learn that there's nothing like all red everything. Eva begins blowing kisses to the crowd being met with a chorus of boos. Not too long after, The Dudley Boyz theme fills the arena and is met with a big pop. Bubba has a serious look on his face. His eyes look like they're ready to pop out of their socket. D-Von is carrying a table. Once they enter the ring, Bubba just stares down Eva Marie. Eva blows a kiss at Bubba. Bubba gets a microphone and asks just who in the hell she is. Eva Marie says she is the future of the WWF. Fans get on her for botching and saying WWF instead of WWE. Bubba's facial expression changes. He seems to be a bit more acceptant of Eva. Bubba says in this new era, the Dudleys need a new dutchess of Dudleyville. Bubba says he needs to see if she has what it takes to be the one. He asks her to run the ropes. Eva puts the mic down and begins running the ropes. Bubba tells her to go faster as the fans begin scream THREEEEE DEEEEEEEE!!! Bubba's face of somewhat elation is quickly turned back into his exclamated face and he picks her up and D-Von closes it out with a 3D!! Bubba just stares intensely at one spot before D-Von pushes him from behind. He points at the table as Bubba runs up to the top rope. D-Von sets up the table and carries Eva Marie to Bubba Ray's shoulders. Bubba Ray Dudley powerbombs Eva Marie through a table with a sit down powerbomb! Bubba stays seated looking insane like he did in 2000 when this would happen on a weekly basis. Fans chant Holy Shit as the Dudleys make their exit and EMT's help out Eva Marie.



    Renee Young runs up to The Dudley Boys backstage and Bubba asks Renee if she wants to be the Dutchess of Dudleyville. That scares off Renee Young and ends the segment.




    THIRD MATCH
    AJ STYLES VS HEATH SLATER


    AJ Styles is on his way down to the ring. Michael Cole puts over how AJ Styles is fighting demons on the inside and battling depression after his girlfriend, Michelle McCool, left him for The Undertaker. AJ Styles is set to go one on one with Heath Slater. Slater recieves a jobber entrance. AJ Styles doesn't do his familiar taunt heading to the ring. The bell rings and AJ leaves his hoodie on covering his face. AJ Styles exhibits a more emo character throughout the match that the commentators put over throughout. AJ dominates the match for the most part until he heads to the top rope. AJ turns away from the ring as if he's setting up a moonsault. However, AJ jumps over to the barricade in an attempt to hurt himself. Cole puts over how great a suicide dive that was. AJ also bumped the referee in the process after the ref jumped out of the ring to tell AJ to get back in. As both men are down, Damien Sandow runs out and kidnaps AJ Styles. The match concludes in a no contest.




    A vignette airs for Alberto Del Rio and Cesaro. A newly formed tag team. It shows them driving a car and encountering a speed bump. It is 30 seconds of them unable to get over.





    In the locker room, Tyler Breeze is looking at himself in the mirror as Dolph Ziggler sits opposite him. Ziggler asks Breeze if he's sure that this is fine. Breeze says maybe 3 years ago it wouldn't have been. But in 2020, the prince of pretty and the show off can live the way they want. Breeze then walks up to Ziggler and gives him an eskimo kiss.



    Kalisto is scheduled to go one on one with Dean Ambrose. Dean Ambrose comes out after Kalisto to a pretty good pop. Ambrose looks irrate for some reason. The commentators put over how Ambrose exhibits those actions of those who wound up being serial killers. Ambrose beats the life out of Kalisto. Ambrose is yet to even remove his leather jacket and eventually pulls out a corkscrew and "stabs" Kalisto. Security quickly runs to the ring and Cole and JBL turn on their serious voices as a result. As Ambrose runs into the crowd, a fan in a Rey Mysterio mask attacks him from behind to a big pop from the crowd. The fan removes his mask and reveals himself to be Rey Mysterio in disguise!




    Trish Stratus is backstage stretching preparing for her 6 diva tag team match with Lita. Lita comes in and asks if she's ready. Trish says she is and talks about how it's great that they can turn back the hands of time and continue their legacy as the two greatest divas of all time. Mickie James runs up behind them and says it's gonne be just the three of us.



    FOURTH MATCH
    Trish Stratus, Lita and Mickie James vs The Bella Twins and Melina

    The match consists of some back and forth action between the women including what appears to be a planned wardrobe malfunction involving Nikki Bella. Trish Stratuts begins dominating Brie Bella and appears to be setting up for the Chick Kick. Just then, Mickie James tags herself in and Trish reluctantly gets out of the ring. Mickie James puts her in position for her devastating jumping DDT. Nikki and Melina then run in and a brawl ensues. Trish and Lita run in and help out Mickie James. Nikki, Brie and Melina are laid out outside the ring and Mickie, Trish and Lita look at each other in unison. It appears as though they're going for a triple plauncha through the ropes. As they run, Mickie James pulls both Lita and Trish down by their hair. Mickie has a psycho look similar to the 2006 Mickie James. Fans give her a mixed reaction. Mickie proceeds to give both Lita and Trish a jumping DDT. Nikki picks up the scraps and gets the pinfall. Mickie James gives an evil smile as she walks off and we transition into commercial.





    MAIN EVENT
    ROMAN REIGNS VS SETH ROLLINS
    WWE CHAMPIONSHIP



    We come back to a tale of tape for the main event comparing Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. It creates a big fight feel. Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins are out and are introduced after making their entrances. Rollins and Reigns stare each other down with the fans going berzerk as they step up to each other. As they lock up, a masked man jumps in from the audience and hits both Rollins and Reigns with a steel chair! He gives them both a Crucifix Powerbomb and hijacks the WWE Championship. The man then unmasks himself and reveals himself as Scott Hall back in his prime! The fans cheer loudly as we close the show




















    Side Note: Thanks everyone for the feedback. As I'm sure most of you know by now, this is NOT to meant to be taken seriously. This entire BTB will be written in a comedic aspect to provide the entertainment aspect of wrestling more than anything. There will be some serious feuds as we all know Russo can pr1ovide from time to time that are exceptional. Since it is being written as a joke, please take it as such. Thank you all for checking out the first episode. Stay tuned for more

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Not going to lie, I marked out HUGE for the Scott Hall return. Hopefully he ends up winning the title. Definitely something different, but that is what this section needs. I'll 100% be reading!

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Consider me hooked.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Quote Originally Posted by DeclanDimi View Post
    Not going to lie, I marked out HUGE for the Scott Hall return. Hopefully he ends up winning the title. Definitely something different, but that is what this section needs. I'll 100% be reading!
    Really? Seems a little backhanded to the writers here, and you can clearly see the variety just looking at the first page of threads in the section.
    ​​​​​​​​ 2019 King of Wrestling Clique



    HOW ABOUT YOU READ THESE THINGS?

    Watching TNA's monthly PPVs from the start
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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Comedic aspect or not, the lack of care for formatting and making it look appealing is sad. I'm sure it wouldn't kill you to make it look nice.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Peanutbutter View Post
    Really? Seems a little backhanded to the writers here, and you can clearly see the variety just looking at the first page of threads in the section.
    Certainly didn't mean to cause any trouble. It's more like there is so much wrestling on here, that a little bit of light hearted comedy like this can add some new variety to the section.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    LMAO. This is literally just as ridiculous as Vince Russo-era WCW.


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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Look, I get that this is meant to be satire, but I have to call at least one bit out. Most of the show was comically bad and made no sense, which I guess is the point? I won't really plan on reading much more of it, but I have to call this out...

    This fucking New Day segment. What the fuck are you thinking here dude? I'm more offended at this than anything to do with the Corona virus. And I don't know what your goal is here, with Hulk Hogan and involving his past racist rant in this story line, but this dog shit, I'm sorry. This is the exact quote from this that really really turned me off on this whole thing. "Xavier tells Hogan he knows that all those allegations about his racism are hoopla". This is bull shit. The fact that you are writing The New Day, who were some of the most vocal people on voicing their issues with Hogan being reinstated in real life, to push your story of Hulk Hogan getting his job back under Russo is total horse shit and you should be ashamed for writing that, I'm sorry. I get that you think this is all in good fun, but blatant racism isn't funny to me.

    Edit because I forgot to mention the "Pick a bale of cotton" line at the end. Terrible.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    OK, so I've just checked out this thread and I can't lie. I love it haha. Like there is stuff that is poor taste, but my sense of humor has always been a bit warped so it appeals to me. But dude, just work on your formatting a touch. Because while the Russo booking is great, your formatting and the photos made it a tad difficult on the eyes. That's the only issue I had





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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    I'm always interested in something different or creative, so you definitely got my interest on this one. I had considered writing a comedy Russo-based thread myself at a few points so I'm fascinated by what you provide.

    Straight off the bat, that backstory is wack. Seriously, what's the point? If you want to go all in on the craziness and have Russo cure Covid-19 then by all means, do it. But your first show doesn't reference it at all. It couldn't be more obvious that your entire plan was to have him win the lottery and at the last minute you changed your mind to go down this route. And for what purpose? What did it serve to bring up something that's killed tens of thousands of people and possibly hundreds of thousands more by the time this is all over? I don't have a problem with you doing that if you DO SOMETHING WITH THAT. But to make it an offhand joke at the start but then not have it mean anything later just seems lazy and unfunny to me.

    In terms of the show itself, the formatting desperately needs cleaning. That Kalisto/Ambrose one was such a red flag to me. A WWE 2K16 graphic for an NXT match to set up a match you're having on Raw? That's just a mess. I actually really like the idea of the pictures, but again, it needs more thought. If you're going to do it, make them feel relevant, have them be consistent sizes, and don't make me as a reader question why it's there. That's the kind of stuff that takes me out of the moment immediately, and it's so unnecessary for something like pictures.

    In terms of content, there are areas of this show I actually kinda loved. Highlight is Del Rio and Cesaro unable to get over, but I also loved Russo shooting while Reigns is in kayfabe,and loved the pointless backstory of Dolph and Jericho. Goldberg seeing Ryback in the mirror is great. When you actually book Russo-themed bullshit this is actually quite fun and different, and something I could totally see myself reading more of. You can definitely execute it better by making it look better, spacing stuff out, generally just thinking more about the reader's experience, but a lot of the content itself is a lot of fun.

    The problem is, when you have a segment like the New Day one at the start of the show, you're going to be turning a lot of people off, and for what purpose? I get that you're trying to go the controversy/insider route a la Russo, but that just seems such an unnecessary way to do it. You were on the right path with the "Cesaro and Del Rio" can't get over stuff, but casually throwing in fairly aggressive racism for the sake of a joke that isn't actually funny is a real turn off, and definitely soured my whole experience of reading the show (especially after the pointless Coronavirus bit at the start as well). And that's a shame, because like I've already said there's some pretty funny stuff in here, and it's the "offensive for the sake of being offensive" stuff that's actually the weakest in terms of comedy or content.

    If you decide to stick with this project, you've definitely done enough to keep me checking back in to see what you do. I'd love to see a tighter, neater format, and I'd like to see a more edited show where some of the stuff like the New Day is left out. There's enough zaniness and stupidity in here to keep me happily entertained for the most part, but I'll be totally up front and say won't stick around if the formatting and content doesn't get that bit tighter. Best of luck mate.

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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine



    "This is in bad taste! The formatting is gross! It should look nicer!"

    Don't listen to these goobers, keep doing your thing. It's great. Some are missing the point: it's supposed to be gross, it's supposed to be in bad taste, it's supposed to look like shit - it's VINCE RUSSO.

    What is more Russo-esque than a slapdash BTB that's out of touch and cringey? If he took your advice and cleaned things up it would be less Vince Russo and then I would criticize it for not leaning in hard enough.

    You're ticking all the boxes for me, champ. Keep it up.
    [save]


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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Quote Originally Posted by The Natural View Post


    "This is in bad taste! The formatting is gross! It should look nicer!"

    Don't listen to these goobers, keep doing your thing. It's great. Some are missing the point: it's supposed to be gross, it's supposed to be in bad taste, it's supposed to look like shit - it's VINCE RUSSO.

    What is more Russo-esque than a slapdash BTB that's out of touch and cringey? If he took your advice and cleaned things up it would be less Vince Russo and then I would criticize it for not leaning in hard enough.

    You're ticking all the boxes for me, champ. Keep it up.
    I mean, yeah, sure.

    But if your presentation's whack and near unreadable then nobody's going to read it and instead comment ''great show bro keep up the work A1"

    Also aware that you're trolling.


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    Re: Vince Russo Discovers COVID-19 Vaccine

    Quote Originally Posted by RainShaker View Post
    I mean, yeah, sure.

    But if your presentation's whack and near unreadable then nobody's going to read it and instead comment ''great show bro keep up the work A1"

    Also aware that you're trolling.
    I'm reading every word and coming back for more. That's rare for me. But I'm also not busting out a critique for every segment because I'm enjoying this for the ridiculous satire that it is. No troll.

    Spoiler:

    [save]


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