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Thread: Interviews With Caramel 2: Michelle von Horowitz

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    Interviews With Caramel 2: Michelle von Horowitz

    DISCLAIMER: Michelle von Horrowitz has demanded this issue of Interviews In Caramel be named ‘Interviews With Caramel’ instead of ‘Interviews In Caramel’. She issued a statement declaring the original title vulgar and a thin mask of the first episode’s uncomfortable predatory overtones.

    Camera’s whirr into life and we are once again witness to Gabrielle sitting on a couch!

    “Welcome. Welcome once again. The debut edition of Interviews In Caramel with Donovan Moore was a smashing success. We all got to learn a bit more about what makes ‘The Man Of The Hour’ tick. And personally, I thoroughly enjoyed getting to do something new, something different. I got a real kick out of being on the other side of the microphone for a change. So with Back In Business XIV just days away now, I thought now would be a fantastic time for the second edition. This woman reached out to me, to be on the couch with me.”

    We hear a scoff from Gabrielle’s guest. The camera pans back to show a woman sat next to her, wearing an oversized hoodie that comes down to her knees, sitting with a distant look on her pale face.

    “What makes ‘The Man of the Hour’ tick. That’s very good, Gabrielle.”

    Gabrielle: “And I did pause for a moment, questioning just how an interview with her would go. But I’m going to be professional about this, and I hope my guest; Michelle von Horrowitz, can do the same.”

    A slight look of annoyance passes over her guests face.

    “Oh, please, Gabrielle. It hasn’t been so long that you’ve forgotten your interview with Moore, has it? Do you remember how you introduced him? The familiarity? The manufactured tension? It was enough to make me queasy. And such lukewarm offerings for me? Talk about ‘professionalism’... Where is your sense of balance?”

    Gabrielle: “I’m taking nothing away from you as a performer, Michelle. I just see us butting heads. That’s both of our issue."

    MvH: “Okay, Gabrielle. Forgive me for keeping this formal. ‘Gabby’ sounds so vulgar, you know?”

    Gabrielle: “Okay, Shelly.”

    Michelle almost gags at the sound of being called Shelly.

    MvH: “That’s terrible. How about you practise some of this professionalism that you value and, I don’t know, ask me a question?”

    Gabrielle: “We’re getting away from what we both want from this. You are one hell of a competitor, Michelle. As I said: I take nothing away from you. You’re on a roll in the FWA, just as you were in the CWA. It’s very impressive.”

    Michelle noticeably stares down at the ground, slightly bored, as Gabby reels off the compliments.

    “But let’s start right at the beginning. Same as last time, I want to know what it is that motivated you or inspired you to become a Professional Wrestler to begin with?”

    Michelle shifts in her chair, visually uncomfortable with the question. She doesn’t know whether to address Gabrielle directly or the camera itself. She is not good at this.

    “I’m not sure how candid you would like me to be here, Gabrielle. I don’t want to shatter the illusion for our younger fans, you know? I will assume you want the whole truth. I have been wrestling, on and off, for twelve years, which is more than forty per cent of my life. That is a long time. There was no great inspiration for me to become a wrestler. I grew up in Rotterdam, with my mother and my sister. My father died because he was an idiot and a nasty little bag of lust. After an evening of drinking, sniffing, and fucking someone who wasn’t my mother, he drove his car down the river bank and managed to drown himself in the shallows. My sister was to study in New York when my mother died too. Ironically, it was dehydration that did for her. A complication of a long-term illness. At fifteen, I came to America with my sister, surviving off her scholarships, and by seventeen, I decided that fighting in a wrestling ring was more helpful to our situation than fighting in a classroom or a bar. Do not kid yourself to think that I was inspired by this sinkhole of an industry. Circumstances led to me being here, and now I am stuck here, and am therefore required to carve out something worthwhile for myself on the inside.”

    Gabrielle seems somewhat taken aback by the bluntness of the response. She looks down at her notes, pausing momentarily but noticeably before continuing with her questions.

    “I dont know what to say to all of that. What kept you away from the ring all these years?”

    MvH: “Circumstances led me away from Europe, and circumstances led me back to Europe. I had worked hard whilst I was here, and it seems like a longer period of my life than it actually was. All in, I lived in the United States for eighteen months, and less than a year of that I spent in the employment of the CWA. I don’t have much in my life, as is well documented. I live a sparse existence, and feel little need to shackle myself by either possessions or relationships. But what I do have is not here. It is in Europe and in Japan, across the shining seas that your continent is only a disappointing intermission from.”

    Gabrielle: “You’ve stated that you are drawn to an ending. Can you explain this any further?”

    There is a brief pause, and a smirk flashes across Michelle’s face. She is beginning to settle into something resembling a rhythm, and she allows herself to address Gabrielle directly now.

    “You know where I was. You know what happened to that place. When I say I am drawn to an ending, you can read many things into my words. Perhaps I am only here to see the end, plagued by the curse of a macabre curiosity. Or, perhaps I am here to bring it. Or to save you from it. CWA was not worthy of my time, and lost my attention. Only time will tell whether your beloved stomping ground is destined for the same bleak end.”

    Gabrielle: “The FWA has outlasted many who sought to end or change it. You really burst onto the scene in the CWA by winning the Wrestle Royale in just your fifth match for the CWA. Looking back, do you think being so successful so early may have put too much pressure on you?”

    The question is enough to bring a second scoff out of Michelle. Her reaction suggests that the thought has not once crossed her mind.

    “Pressure is an external force, Gabrielle. It is not something that I can control, and often I cannot even guide it. I can only worry about me, and my goals, and my opponent. You have clearly looked into my record. You’ll notice that those first five wins were followed up by an elongated dominant streak. For over half a year I went undefeated on Adrenaline Rush, and nobody but the kaiju can claim a victory over me for all the time I competed as a CWA wrestler. I don’t bend under pressure quite so easily as you are suggesting.”

    Gabrielle: “You won the CWA High Voltage Championship in your last match for the CWA, and then left the industry altogether for a number of years. Was this a case of becoming a Champion, and feeling satisfied with that being enough?”

    MvH: “I was not satisfied by what can only be thought of as the smallest of rewards in that promotion. I was also not satisfied with the direction that this company was so readily throwing itself in. I don’t wish to rake over the coals of ancient history, here. But Jon Snowmantashi and Jonathan McGuiness had been fighting for the CWA World Heavyweight Championship for the entirety of my time competing beneath that banner. The only exception was when I earned my title shot with a win at the Wrestle Royale, and forced McGuiness out of the picture for a month. The two pay-per-views before that and the next three pay-per-views after it? Some sort of combination of Snowmantashi and McGinnis, sometimes accompanied by his Indy Club fluffers. This was the kind of thinking that was rife in the CWA. The idea that certain people were main eventers and certain people were not. So after busting my ass on Adrenaline Rush for ten months… going undefeated for fifteen matches on weekly television… beating the likes of WOLF, Enigma, Harrison Wake, and McGinnis himself in the process… making the brightest star of our biggest rival company tap like a bitch live on pay-per-view… I was rewarded with a seat at the head of the kid’s table? Please. When I began to feel the call of Europe again, of the Netherlands, and France, and Germany, I was quite prepared to leave this pit of cynicism and bravado and blatant, festering injustice behind. So no, Gabrielle, I wouldn’t say I felt satisfied with that being enough.”

    Gabrielle latches onto the brief, passing mention of Bell Connelly, adjusting her line of questioning. The two almost seem to have forgotten that the camera is there, the interview evolving into what feels like a conversation.

    “I’ve rarely got along with Bell Connelly myself, but in light of recent events where she confirmed her retirement. What is this animosity between the two of you?”

    MvH: “There is no animosity between myself and Bell Connelly. But she is a liar, and she can lobotomize herself with whichever poisonous form of therapy she chooses to, but that will not change the fact that she is a liar. I am providing Connelly with a service, Gabrielle. All of her friends, the people that claim to love her, have only led her on a path to sterilization, under the horrifying mask of normalization. If you cannot see that, then you are lost, too.”

    Gabrielle: “What do you hope to gain from prodding her?”

    MvH: “I do not hope to gain anything, except perhaps a victory and a thank you. Bell Connelly stands to gain a lot, though. Least of all, she will have herself back.”

    Gabrielle lets the thought linger in the air, staring at Michelle and pondering her meaning. She adjusts herself in her seat, the camera refusing to let either of them out of its image.

    “If you could form a tag team with anyone in the FWA who would it be?”

    “Tag team wrestling is a form of cowardice. I would rather wrestle in handicap matches than tag team ones. You know those sex dolls that they wrestle sometimes in Japan? I’d choose one of those.”

    Gabrielle: “Alternatively, who is the person in the FWA that you cannot stand being around?”

    Somewhat surprisingly, this does not seem like a question that Michelle has ever considered, and she takes a moment to think about it. She stares off past the camera as she ponders.

    “Well, I’m not sure if there’s anyone that I cannot stand being around to a greater extent than I find any physical familiarity to be mostly unappealing. There are those whose opinion I value even less than others, I suppose. Michael Garcia is so frenetic with the hatred that he spews that it almost blurs into white noise. Cyrus Truth is so god damned sanctimonious that I feel certain even he can’t believe the nonsense that falls out of his mouth. And there are those I would most like to defeat, of course. Golden. Yourself. Truth. Sullivan, of course. But most of those are only to prove points that I feel need to be made. I have always felt, in Europe and Japan and in the CWA over here, that my opponents are mostly interchangeable. If you could revive the corpse of Snowmantashi and throw me into a ring with him, then maybe I would feel differently, but not here. Not yet.”

    Gabrielle: “You were incredibly successful in the CWA. One hell of a promotion that is, sadly, no more. In a perfect world, would you have rather returned to the CWA, or is the FWA here and now a better place to be?”

    MvH: “I will never step foot in that place again, even if it rises like a phoenix from the flames and is the only wrestling promotion on this or any other planet.”

    Gabrielle: “Back In Business will see you competing for the X Championship against five other people. Who is your biggest threat in that match?”

    There is almost a look of surprise on Michelle’s face that it has taken this long for the interview to turn onto the topic of her upcoming X Championship match. She prepares herself to deliver her well-practised stump speech.

    “Only a fool would not consider each and every one of her opponents in a match-up like this. The very nature of it - the rules, or lack thereof, and the fact that there are so many people to take into account - will lead to chaos. I have spoken about this at length. At any point, any one of these five men could simply find themselves in the right position at the right time. Staying within touching distance of all of the action - so that you can influence each and every interaction if you need to - will be difficult, but that has to be my main priority in this match. In an elimination match, I would be quite willing to let these brutes take out whatever pent-up masculine rage they have inside them on each other, ready to swoop in at the match’s climax. But that is not the task at hand, and I will have to remain within the thick of the action. Each brings a different threat. Cromwell is a competent technical wrestler, whilst Donovan Moore and Eli Black can throw hands in a brawl with the best of them. Gerald Grayson is something of an unknown quantity, having only competed in one match and, I might add, having lost it. I do not trust the Wildcard. His general poor attitude seems well suited to a match like this. But I have a few tricks up my sleeves that could very well even out the odds…”

    Gabrielle: “That is going to to be a fantastic match. What would being X Champion mean for you four years after you won the High Voltage Championship?”

    MvH: “I would be lying if I said that this championship did not resemble something of a stepping stone. I have much higher designs than Lord Vincent’s demented little merry-go-round of violence. But it is also true that anyone who believes themselves to be good at what they do - and I believe myself to be the best at what I do - desires verification of their excellence. To win a championship with such a long lineage in such a short amount of time is a statement, don’t you think? If I was placed in a sixty minute iron man match with Kevin Cromwell, and went toe to toe with him in a chain wrestling masterclass, or if I was ordered to trade chair shots with the Blackbird himself inside a steel cage, I would fancy myself to do what it takes to win. This Sunday at Back in Business will only be the first example of me beating whoever is put in front of me in whatever type of match I’m told to compete in. There will be many more.”

    Gabrielle: “Is there an end goal you have in mind for your career, or is it just a case of seeing what happens here in the FWA, and in life?”

    MvH: “I will be your World Champion. I feel certain of this. After that, you may take my hand, and I will lead you into whatever future you deserve.”

    Unsure if anything is to be gained by going further down this rather abstract path, Gabby decides to throw a soft-ball question out.

    “Do you have any secret talents?”

    MvH: “Is that a serious question? Are we done, here?”

    Gabrielle: "Well...that is all the questions I had for you Michelle."

    Michelle breathes a slight sigh of relief.

    MvH: You know what, this was actually much more professional than I expected.

    Gabrielle: I genuinely feel we all got some great insights into your life and career Michelle. Thank you for coming on today.

    Interviews In Caramel 1: Donovan Moore
    Last edited by ETE; 04-27-2020 at 08:59 AM.

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