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Thread: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

  1. #21
     
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Mad Kingdom: This one is pretty light for a PPV promo, but then again it's a pretty laid back match so it's not like the pressure was on. This one was very dialog heavy without a lot of details, which is good sometimes especially when you're writing for two. But I thought that because the dialog was so spread out, neither Randall or Penny got their fair share of character development. A nice idea might be to take the two of them and spend time on each of them individually, maybe different settings but at the same time? Like a Pulp Fiction sort of thing.

    XYZ: Yo, what's up with this gimmick infringement King stuff you got going on here? Just kidding, I totally love it because I think it totally fills the roles of the guys in this match, although this theme would have been perfect for if XYZ and Sullivan ever face off eh? First of all your details in setting are just precise, you can really visualize the fictional world of the fascinating Pumclookia. I think it's unique because instead of describing yourself as the king here, it's more of a David vs Goliath sort of underlying story. XYZ can taste the awards and the glory, but he just hasn't gotten there. This is a really nice What If story, which normally I may think pushes down your own character by thinking they're weaker...in this scenario I don't see it this way. The lord of dogs is a funny addition to the story as well and some nice real world analogies going on. I hope XYZ and Lord Dog do win, because I just would love to see XYZ's transition once he does get the gold. Where does he go from there confidence wise?

    Sterling Jagger: For a pay per view promo, I am not going to lie I think you can do better. This is the quality of a sign up thread vignette promo to me. I think details and setting is your biggest thing to work on going forward. Focus on setting the scene, and making us as readers visualize it in our heads. Your dialog works as a heel, but expand upon on it more. This character actually reminds me a lot of the late PASSION (rip)...not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing honestly.

    Gabby: I am a huge advocate for making up characters in promos that are based on our opponents, so making Izzy the brat student of the class was a solid angle for starters. However I usually do it subtly, you do it totally directly by making it more of a visage. Which frankly I've never thought of. Also love the classroom/teacher theme for Gabby. Reminds me of Michelle McCool back in the days. But the fact that you're teaching Izzy a history lesson, it just really all ties together well to a great theme, and great setting. Your dialog speaks for itself. You make your case, you're the one that's paved the way for girls like Izzy. It's disappointing that Izzy wasn't able to give a good fight back. Hopefully we get a rematch sometime.



    I'm going to go to lunch, might try to do some more on my phone during lunch. If not I'll get the rest after my 1pm class.

    I normally don't ask, but I'm hoping I get some reviews on mine as well. I put a lot of work into it yesterday evening, and I want to gauge if it would have been enough to get the win if it was contested.

  2. #22
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by An Original Name View Post
    Just going to get this done quick;

    My mother took a turn in the night and was rushed to a hospital. They found a tumour in her lung.

    She's fine and stable now, but there was no way I was getting a promo in, nor any time soon.

    I'll be back at some point when I know she's going to be fine.

    Sorry to cyrus and tgo.
    Sorry to hear that, AON. Give your mother our best regards, and well wishes to her in her recovery.

  3. #23
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Tbf I find it hard to write promos in FWA for the fact I got no storyline to work with so like i cant find myself getting into my charcters to write anything with substance like that might be my fault because you guys do a hell of a job in your promos.

    I think thats why I can write lil better in CWA with Bridges because I got a story I am able to playoff rather then facing person a or person b etc. Nothing against Jiggy, Sayer, or Jimmy but e fed is different here compared to e wrestling news forum.

    Also sorry Aon

    And hope all is ok grim


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    Brayden Bridges




  4. #24
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by OMB View Post
    Tbf I find it hard to write promos in FWA for the fact I got no storyline to work with so like i cant find myself getting into my charcters to write anything with substance like that might be my fault because you guys do a hell of a job in your promos.

    I think thats why I can write lil better in CWA with Bridges because I got a story I am able to playoff rather then facing person a or person b etc. Nothing against Jiggy, Sayer, or Jimmy but e fed is different here compared to e wrestling news forum.

    Also sorry Aon

    And hope all is ok grim
    There is no doubt that writing promos when you're in a feud is 100 times easier than writing one with no real story or depth attached. You need a feud and that will happen.


    "The Golden One" Devin Golden

    3x FWA World Heavyweight Champion
    2x FWA X Champion
    4x FWA Tag Team Champion
    Final record: 94-58-10


    Shannon O'Neal
    2x FWA Women's Champion
    1x FWA World Champion


  5. #25
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by OMB View Post
    Tbf I find it hard to write promos in FWA for the fact I got no storyline to work with so like i cant find myself getting into my charcters to write anything with substance like that might be my fault because you guys do a hell of a job in your promos.

    I think thats why I can write lil better in CWA with Bridges because I got a story I am able to playoff rather then facing person a or person b etc. Nothing against Jiggy, Sayer, or Jimmy but e fed is different here compared to e wrestling news forum.

    Also sorry Aon

    And hope all is ok grim
    ::Superkicks OMB's Character::

    Now we're in a feud, yo.


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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by OMB View Post
    Tbf I find it hard to write promos in FWA for the fact I got no storyline to work with so like i cant find myself getting into my charcters to write anything with substance like that might be my fault because you guys do a hell of a job in your promos.

    I think thats why I can write lil better in CWA with Bridges because I got a story I am able to playoff rather then facing person a or person b etc. Nothing against Jiggy, Sayer, or Jimmy but e fed is different here compared to e wrestling news forum.

    Also sorry Aon

    And hope all is ok grim
    I agree that it's easier to write when you are in a feud. You've been in a series with Mac that's been peppered here and there with no-shows from both parties and, just to give you a peek into the other side of the curtain, this WAS your feud, but no segments or even promos from the both of you made it hard for us to really take it in any compelling direction. Get with me offline if you have any ideas on where you want to go from here with the character if you have any ideas.
    Last edited by Jiggy; 04-18-2019 at 04:21 PM.





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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Jiggy View Post
    I agree that it's easier to write when you are in a feud. You've been in a series with Mac that's been peppered here and there with no-shows from both parties and, just to give you a peak on the other side of the curtain, this WAS your feud, but no segments or even promos from the both of you made it hard for us to really take it in any compelling direction. Get with me offline if you have any ideas on where you want to go from here with the character if you have any ideas.
    Yea that was my bad. I honestly had stuff going on outside and stuff. Like I said this could just be my fault 100%


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    Brayden Bridges




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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    No fault at all, stuff just happens. It's not a big deal. It's good feedback though and let's us know you are committed, which gives us something to work with.





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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    From what I've found too OMB, having a character that isn't locked down to a certain personality or gimmick is helpful.

    The pornstar thing can only go so far. Character development is big, so start thinking about what the next play is for Jagger.

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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Cyrus Truth: Love Cyrus' position in this match. Just storyline wise, going up against Bell and Kennedy is fun. It's been such a well written story arc from all parties. With that said I am glad that you focused in on Shannon too. The aces/card theme was a nice little touch to throw in.

    PAJ: My biggest gripe with this one, not enough details in between all the dialog. The setting is bland, and it's simply a conversation between Jackson and Viktor. There isn't really an overarching theme or story you're trying to tell here. With that said dialog is good, both characters do their part to bury their two opponents. I like how Jackson points out that X, Y, and Z are the three least used letters of the alphabet. But all in all I really didn't think this was a tag team title defense quality promo for a pay per view match.

    Eyes: So first of all, I like the back and forth between Hughes and Killemall. However, the opening is weak, I'm not going to lie. Spend some time with your opening. Even if most of it is just useless filler stuff, just really try to focus on describing every detail. Picture a scene in your head, and then write about EVERYTHING you see. Another gripe of mine here is the formatting. Something about the color choices and just the overall layout of this hurts my eyes. Use some bold in some sections With that all said, I love how OTE is back and rolling so good luck with it. It was one of my earliest story arcs as Dave Sullivan back in...what was it 2012?

    Lord Dog: So this isn't too important about the quality of the promo, but it's the first thing I notice when looking at it. For some reason, the format of this just really turns me on. That sea green just goes so well with the black bold descriptive text. Your setting is descriptive, and existent which is a refreshing change of pace from what I've read, and Lord Dog's monologue is on point. The spiderman analogy is a nice touch and fitting, the comic book super hero theme in general. Lord Dog and XYZ are just such a perfect pairing, and I'm not gonna lie I'm rooting for them in this one.

    Shannon: The balance of description and dialog is refreshing first off. Formatting looks pretty solid, although I'll admit I'm a fan of a graphic topper or to really bring things together. That's only a personal thing, and I know some people feel the exact opposite or are indifferent. The Ya theme is a nice angle, and I like how you split up Cyrus and Bell into two distinctive sections without making it look segregated and choppy. Will say though that if this is a farewell promo to Shannon, I'm not getting the emotion I felt with the farewell ending that Devin Golden had. That was powerful. Don't get me wrong though, this is great stuff too. I'm rooting for Shannon on this one.

  11. #31
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    From what I've found too OMB, having a character that isn't locked down to a certain personality or gimmick is helpful.

    The pornstar thing can only go so far. Character development is big, so start thinking about what the next play is for Jagger.
    Tbf i want a more Dream/Goldust/Castle feel more psycological


    Spoiler:


    CWA World Heavyweight Champion
    Brayden Bridges




  12. #32
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Sullivan: I said it on the last show but Sullivan has become one of, it not my favourite character in the FWA. I think part of that is the noticeable growth you've made as a writer since I was last in the FWA and the evolution the character has made in that same time period. Yourself and AON with Bell Connolly really stand out in that regard, both characters have grown so much. You're writing as I said has really come along, I'd honestly say you're as good a writer as we have in the FWA. The descriptive side of things, setting the scene and such you do it really well, and without going overboard into unimportant details. Its easy to visualise the scene of a frustrated "King" having to deal with two Traffic Cops. Officer Daniels revealing he has a Starr shirt on under his uniform genuinely made me chuckle too. At the start of this promo I couldn't help but think how its a strange setting for a promo; being pulled over for speeding. But what made it work is the Dave Sullivan character, the King and his complete and total arrogance in this scenario. It was an opportunity for him to brag about himself. Him being tasered at the end is the exclamation point on that, he's so self obsessed, so arrogant, and looks down on everyone else so much that he talked himself into being tasered by his love for himself. At a glance that's a weird sign off to an odd setting, but it all ties together in that way. The King can pass up an opportunity to brag, no matter the scenario. Fantastic work.

    Quote Originally Posted by OMB View Post
    Tbf I find it hard to write promos in FWA for the fact I got no storyline to work with so like i cant find myself getting into my charcters to write anything with substance like that might be my fault because you guys do a hell of a job in your promos.

    I think thats why I can write lil better in CWA with Bridges because I got a story I am able to playoff rather then facing person a or person b etc. Nothing against Jiggy, Sayer, or Jimmy but e fed is different here compared to e wrestling news forum.

    Also sorry Aon

    And hope all is ok grim
    Having a feud or storyline to work with is definitely the best motivator for Efedding, helps give you more of a reason to write and something to shoot for.

    As a side note, Jagger and Gabby could work well together.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully View Post
    From what I've found too OMB, having a character that isn't locked down to a certain personality or gimmick is helpful.

    The pornstar thing can only go so far. Character development is big, so start thinking about what the next play is for Jagger.
    Agreed. Real wrestling works well when characters are very one dimensional but efeding works best when your character can wear many hats as it were, when you can write a more complete and varied character.

    EDIT:

    Mad Kingdom: Simple but effective. You mixed in the seriousness with just the right amount of humour. Enough to lighten the promo but not turn it into a joke.
    Last edited by ETE; 04-19-2019 at 05:04 AM.





  13. #33
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    Re: Quest for the Best Promo Discussion Thread

    Sorry for missing the show. Didnt even know it was up and work has been insane all month(had a death on site) I'll try being more vigilant in checking for the next one. Sorry to Jimmy king and my partner.

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