View Poll Results: Who do you want to eliminate?

13. You may not vote on this poll
  • Fuji Vice

    1 7.69%
  • Jimmy King

    4 30.77%
  • RainShaker

    5 38.46%
  • Jiggy

    3 23.08%
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Thread: WC Royal Rumble X: Day 21

  1. #1
    Friendship King

    Smooth Jazz Wolf's Avatar

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    WC Royal Rumble X: Day 21

    In the ring, Creeping Death finally halts his mudhole stomping of Smooth Jazz Wolf to take a breather. It's tough work, stomping someone in the face for minutes at a time. Jiggy wanders over, glancing at the work of art that at one point vaguely resembled a human being, and shrieks.

    Jiggy: Jesus Fuck, Creeping Death! You've killed Smooth Jazz Wolf!

    Creeping Death: What? No, I haven't.

    Jiggy: Look at him! He's a pulverised stain on the mat!

    Creeping Death: No, I'm pretty sure he was like that when he entered.

    Jiggy: What did you do?!?

    Creeping Death: Well, about seven minutes ago, he told me he was feeling, y'know, all choked up with emotions. So, I attempted to save his life.

    Jiggy: By stomping his throat into his chest cavity?

    Creeping Death: I was attempting to do the Heimlich Manoeuvre.

    Jiggy: That's not how- The Heimlich Manoeuvre does not involve stomping a man's throat into dust!

    Creeping Death: Are you sure? Because my Health & P.E Teacher was very insistent that, to clear the airways of a choking person, you should stomp a mudhole in or around their face.

    Jiggy: Was your Health & P.E Teacher Steve Austin?

    Creeping Death: Well, he was an alcoholic with authority issues, but who isn't nowadays, am I right? Look, we'll ask him - Hey, Smooth Jazz Wolf, are you dead?

    Smooth Jazz Wolf, somewhat distracted by the fact that his soul is currently residing in that Flash-Sideways Universe during Season Six of LOST, and very confused by the fact, says nothing.

    Creeping Death: See, he didn't say yes, so he's not dead. Quit bitching.

    Drawn in by this argument, the rest of the group briefly halts their infighting and approach. Fuji Vice gently kicks the unresponsive body of Smooth Jazz Wolf, and by gently, we mean he punted the little shit in the chest like he was attempting to score a field goal with the dude's heart.

    Fuji Vice: Yeah, no, he seems pretty dead to me.

    Jimmy King: Maybe he's okay. I've heard Smooth Jazz Wolf's favourite pastime is falling unconscious for six to ten hours at a time every night.

    RainShaker: Do you not see the crosses in his eyes? Unless cartoons have taught me wrong, that means he's dead as shit.

    Creeping Death: Maybe you're looking at him from the wrong angle, and those crosses are actually plus signs, which in many cultures indicate a positive occurrence of some kind.

    Jiggy: We have the bury the body.

    Fuji Vice: Oh, not again. I hate burying bodies, it takes so much out of you.

    RainShaker: No, Jiggy's right, we have to bury the body before someone notices it.

    Nash: ... They said, out loud, with a full stadium of witnesses and millions watching live, in the middle of a match.

    Jimmy King: Nash is right, we can't get rid of the body yet, we have to eliminate him first. Thanks Nash!

    Nash: That was not my point.

    Creeping Death: Urgh, fine. I got him, you guys distract everyone else.

    Jimmy King, Fuji Vice, Jiggy, & RainShaker spontaneously erupt into a tap dance routine, earning the rapt attention of the entire audience, whilst Creeping Death lifts up Smooth Jazz Wolf's remains and carries him towards the ropes. As he unceremoniously throws Smooth Jazz Wolf over, Smooth Jazz Wolf suddenly gasps!

    Smooth Jazz Wolf: I'm alive! I'm-

    Smooth Jazz Wolf's face abruptly smacks the floor outside, immediately re-rendering him unconscious. Eliminated without once being written to actually look good. What an absolute goober.

    Creeping Death: Hey guys, Smooth Jazz Wolf said he was alive. For, like, half a second, until the floor caved his face in. So we can absolve me of any criminal charges, right?

    Creeping Death's query is responded by Fuji Vice catching him with a superkick, sending him out over the ropes! Creeping Death joins Smooth Jazz Wolf on the outside, eliminated! We're down to four!
    Last edited by Smooth Jazz Wolf; 03-02-2019 at 10:33 AM.

    CWA: A Decade of Decadence
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    Stay tuned.

  2. #2
    Ambidextrous Birdcatcher
    Creeping Death's Avatar

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    Jul 2010
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    Re: WC Royal Rumble X: Day 21

    There's no one I'd rather get eliminated with.


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