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Thread: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

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    Fight Night FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Be kind. Rewind. And review.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    I’m gonna request an extension just in case


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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Granted.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Extension request please!

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    I'll take an extension if I can get one.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Both granted. I'l be taking one as well





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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Hate to do it but I might need an extension as well.





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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    ETEs extension is granted.

    Now time has passed for extensions. Roughly 16 hours left.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Everyone has an extension except for Mac, OMB, Sully, Cyrus, and Jimmy.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    I know it is under 24 hours but I'm requesting an emergency extension. My kids cat was hit by a car so it's been hectic and I haven't been able to write

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Quote Originally Posted by The Mac View Post
    I know it is under 24 hours but I'm requesting an emergency extension. My kids cat was hit by a car so it's been hectic and I haven't been able to write
    Approved. Sorry to hear about the cat, man.





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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Cyrus Truth: I enjoyed this from a personal standpoint, because I really feel like Cyrus gives Sullivan a lot of respect here. Which is a pretty humble nod from the position Cyrus is in, and from the position Dave is in. The two sides of the coin theme fits well, and it's funny because that's something I alluded to slightly in my promo too. Had I read yours first I might've done something a tad different, but I feel comfortable about it because it is still different enough. In the sense that had a things gone differently among these two and their career paths, it could easily be flip flopped. At least my character thinks so. Realistically possibly not, but from a story telling standpoint I like the narrative. I have a gripe and it's the interview setting. I feel like these settings are a bit boring and cookie cutter. However usually when I rant about this gripe in promo reviews, it's during pay per views. And I always say that it's a format better served for a Fight Night match. In this case I feel like on paper it's a low risk low reward sort of match, so really why not just throw out the interview promo template and hope it works. Your writing is so well that it makes it great either way, but now you can save the creativity stuff for a pay per view title defense and not waste it on me. If I can beat this promo you wrote, my confidence will be soaring high. It's going to be a tough one.

    Kevin Cromwell: Your writing style with Cromwell is very similar to that of an actual author writing a book. I think that's actually a strong mark for promo'ing, and it's a style I wish I could pull off successfully. My gripe with this is the same as my only gripe with Cyrus'. I feel like the backstage locker room/interview setting is cookie cutter. And like I said with him, a Fight Night following a big pay per view is a good time to do it if you're going to. However with Cyrus, I mentioned his week is low risk-low reward. I feel like for Kevin Cromwell this week, he has a lot to prove. He's been on a skid to be frank, and pulling off a win against TJG would be a huge turn around for Cromwell. For that reason I feel like you've gotta go in and give it your all against him. Your promos with Bell Connelly are honestly some of the most creative pieces I've read all time in this fed, but Kevin Cromwell is just different. Maybe that's the angle you're going for because you are afraid Bell and Cromwell will overlap too much, or you are trying to invest more of that creative juice in Bell. I don't know. Your writing definitely shows in this promos. I thought Cromwell does some great monologue styles, but I do have another gripe. Format wise, I feel like everything is a bit smushed together. It's actually very clean and neat, but I think it's too compressed. Kevin's big long winded monologue pieces are pushed into small font paragraphs, and it makes it too easy to gloss over some really great writing within them. Your writing is great as always. Change up the format, change up the settings with a creative theme, and Kevin Cromwell will perform at the same high paced level you have Bell at.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    The cover image of my promo isn't showing up on my phone, but it works on my desktop still. Is everyone else seeing it or is it coming up broken?'

    Let me know. And if it can be modded in to ease my perfectionism I'm going to attach it here.

    154856905453209441.jpg

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Dominick Armistead: This was short but sweet. I thought it was a very nice way of settling into the character and introducing to us his personality. One thing I liked about this interview, is it reminded me of the infamous Richard Sherman interview following the 49ers playoff game, with Goldsmith playing the innocent role of Erin Andrews. I think Armistead has good motivation, being rejected by CWA and FWA in the past. I'm excited to see where you take this one. I liked your format, I thought it was clean and easy to read. Keep using chapter titles, it's a small touch but I love it's style myself. It makes it fun and easy to organize and create story arcs for your character.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Wanna apologize to my partner and jimmy king there's no way I'll be able to get something in. I thought with the ext I might be able to pull something out of my ass but it's been a constant day of crying kids and trying to keep their cat comfortable so I haven't gotten anywhere close to writing and it's only been getting worse. Sorry guys jimmy this feud has been one of my favorite I've had in all my time in FWA and its a shame its ending like this but hopefully we can kick something off again later. If I can get the next show off as well hopefully by then everything will have calmed down a bit here. Sorry again guys.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    TJG: This is one of those promos I can say I've been there. I totally feel the frustrations that Galloway is feeling, that you're feeling in this. I'm in that same spot as you right now where we're stuck in this limbo where we beat people in the X Division, but struggle once the competition gets tough. Hopefully you and I can both break through the glass ceiling and move up the ladder. I liked the idea of the imaginary man taunting Galloway, I had a feeling pretty quickly that's what was going on. It was a nice piece for a fight night and it sets the ground work for a good story arc for Tristan. Only gripes are some grammar errors and the fact that you said Kevin Cromwell was still champion.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    The New Breed: One of my gripes with this one is that it takes a minute to figure out who is saying what. It's easy to pick up eventually, but I think with three people talking in a promo dialog should be more clearly directive of who is saying what. A six man tag team match is hard so I'll give ya credit, but this one just fell flat for me. It's short, and so everything sort of gets sprinkled among all three characters and then it ends. I will say that despite the shortness, I feel like you've done a good job of building character development and story between all three of these guys, and so that will be fun to read going forward.

    Penny and Randall: Good work here. Creative setting, good intro, good format, and clean dialog. It is great Fight Night quality stuff. Felt kind of like a mockumentary/blair witch project kind of filming skit. Which is fun and all, but I feel like if you were going to set it up that way, you could have wrote the intro an entirely different way to set it up. Like, I just feel like you didn't capitalize on the creativity of this kind of writing. It worked, but I just feel like there were some things that you could have done with this kind of promo gimmick and you didn't. But the ending is great. A shooting gallery where Penny and Randall take shots at their opponents, nice touch. I was convinced the drawing Penny was doing in the car was going to be the pictures of them though, and that's what they would shoot. I was disappointed that didn't happen, and also kind of confused as to why that drawing scene with Penny was there in the first pla ce...other than to capture her daydreaming sort of personality. To top it off, I liked the Double Tap theme. I'm always a big fan of promos with titles and themes, and I liked how you played this in here. Solid stuff.

    Bell:
    Describing a backstage setting at an event can be difficult and usually end up short and bland, but you did a pretty good job of making it detailed and vivid. The beginning part with Bell acting loco with the poor girl was also pretty vivid. Bell is truly going off the deep end, and it is sad and fun to see. With that said, my one gripe is that I felt it didn't transition well into the journal extract. It almost feels like two different promos because of it. Had you found a way to transition the journal part just a little bit better, this would probably turn out to be a PPV quality promo, if it's not already. I thought it did a really nice job of delving into Bell's most inner thoughts and feelings, and maybe a bigger glimpse of let's led her to where she is today. Although I was confused because the date said 20/1/18 at the top, but this is clearly supposed to be for this year right? Good luck, Bell remains one of my most favorite characters on the roster.

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Quote Originally Posted by The Mac View Post
    Wanna apologize to my partner and jimmy king there's no way I'll be able to get something in. I thought with the ext I might be able to pull something out of my ass but it's been a constant day of crying kids and trying to keep their cat comfortable so I haven't gotten anywhere close to writing and it's only been getting worse. Sorry guys jimmy this feud has been one of my favorite I've had in all my time in FWA and its a shame its ending like this but hopefully we can kick something off again later. If I can get the next show off as well hopefully by then everything will have calmed down a bit here. Sorry again guys.
    Don’t sweat it man, stuff happens. It is unfortunate circumstances but real life always comes first, hope all is well on your end.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sully
    Penny and Randall: Good work here. Creative setting, good intro, good format, and clean dialog. It is great Fight Night quality stuff. Felt kind of like a mockumentary/blair witch project kind of filming skit. Which is fun and all, but I feel like if you were going to set it up that way, you could have wrote the intro an entirely different way to set it up. Like, I just feel like you didn't capitalize on the creativity of this kind of writing. It worked, but I just feel like there were some things that you could have done with this kind of promo gimmick and you didn't. But the ending is great. A shooting gallery where Penny and Randall take shots at their opponents, nice touch. I was convinced the drawing Penny was doing in the car was going to be the pictures of them though, and that's what they would shoot. I was disappointed that didn't happen, and also kind of confused as to why that drawing scene with Penny was there in the first pla ce...other than to capture her daydreaming sort of personality. To top it off, I liked the Double Tap theme. I'm always a big fan of promos with titles and themes, and I liked how you played this in here. Solid stuff.
    The Penny “drawing” bit is something that’ll I’ll dive deeper into at a later time. Thank you for the feedback, I appreciate it. I do agree that the writing could have been better, and it didn’t come out the way I had imagined but overall I’m content with it.

    I’ll be back in here later to review some promos after I’ve read them.


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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    There's a very good explanation for that Sully;

    I'm in Ireland, therefore, we instinctively date things the right way
    The most amazing thing about this recent conversation is that I've learned AON is even more of a waste of space than I thought he was previously

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    Re: FIGHT NIGHT PROMO DISCUSSION THREAD 01/21/19

    Apologies for not getting a promo in. I just kept putting it off and had a busy weekend with family.





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