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Thread: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

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    2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Discuss Promos Here. Please try and keep the conversation relegated to this week's promos!



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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    The Technician: I really liked what I read but unfortunately, it was just way too short to really get it jest of what was going on. I can see that you have a lot of potential with the character and even have a lot of writing ability, and maybe I'm missing something here for the length but that was my biggest drawback with it.

    I want to see more from the character because I like the concept, a lot, and I hope that I get to learn more about him as the time goes by.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    The length is mainly due to the fact I'm heading out on a tour. I knew it was short, but I'm on a plane tomorrow.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Ah ok, well that makes sense then and like I said, I don't know much about the character and I wasn't aware that you were actually leaving. I can tell that you have a lot of writing ability, it shows just in that little piece alone so I look forward to seeing you back in action when you come back.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    James Hughes: I don't review my opponents role-plays that often but I decided to do it this week. I have always enjoyed the James character, and I think you did a wonderful job this week. The development that you have for him has turned out to be really good, especially since I remember him as a good guy and to see him more brash, more arrogant, it really adds a different depth to the character.


    I personally feel that you have been a great North American Champion and no matter who wins this week; I could see this as a potential feud down the road, one that would be great for the Fed as a whole and for our characters.


    Keep up the great work man!

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Drew Stevenson View Post
    James Hughes: I don't review my opponents role-plays that often but I decided to do it this week. I have always enjoyed the James character, and I think you did a wonderful job this week. The development that you have for him has turned out to be really good, especially since I remember him as a good guy and to see him more brash, more arrogant, it really adds a different depth to the character.


    I personally feel that you have been a great North American Champion and no matter who wins this week; I could see this as a potential feud down the road, one that would be great for the Fed as a whole and for our characters.


    Keep up the great work man!
    thanks I really appreciate that and agree a feud between the two could wind up being special.





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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Bell: I do believe that I was leaving as you were just coming in so I didn't really know your character or anything like that. However, you play this character incredibly well; to the point that she's believable. This was a great role-play, plain and simple and you are one talented writer.

    Your narration is spot on, your dialogue is fantastic and the character is just so well perceived that I can see why people think of you as the best right now. Definitely great work that you put out here and I look forward to reading more from you and learning more about the Bell character.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Jean-Luc: Normally I'm pretty iffy on interviews simply because they can be pretty boring if they're not done right. However, I actually really enjoyed this one and to me, it felt very realistic by the dialogue that you put out. I think it's fascinating to see a young character catching his break and doing interviews along the way; definitely has a very realistic feel to it and the way you wrote it was very well done as well.

    Unfortunately I can't really critique you much more than that because I'm just coming back so I'm not familiar with a lot of the new characters around here. Great job however and keep up the good work; you will go far at this rate.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Hey guys, just letting you know that I am going to review more role-plays sometime tomorrow. We have had some pretty good role-plays so far so keep up the great work everybody.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    My appolgises just cannot promo at the moment. Had a person have a heart attack in front of me. Guy was younger then I. I just cannot put it out of my mind right now.
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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Yeah, I'd also like to apologize for the lacklustre quality of my promo...

    To be honest, I've been well... In pain. I've been in pain because I learned about an old friend of mine and she's still around, and I've wanted to talk to her... But I'm sorta afraid to, I don't know how she's gonna react, having broken ties rather... Violently last March. I've been so worried I worked myself ill today.

    I'm afraid my promo ability is going to go to shit while this is still going on. I apologize to AON, who deserved better, but I'm afraid I have to work this personal issue out.

    Sent from Tapatalk, bitches.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    had a coworker go down with a serious injury so im still at work, going to try and get something done here but if i dont i apologize and will make up for it with a big promo next week. promised myself i wouldnt no show but not much i can do at the moment

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Drew Stevenson: When you return, you sure return with a bang. Your return promo was a very good one. The only thing that bugged me wasn't content, it was coding. It threw me off a little that the first part of your speech was in green and the rest of the speech and his actions were in black. It did make me pay closer attention to what you were saying though. So if that was the overall goal, well done. That being said, the content could not have been better for a return match against the man who holds the Championship you made famous. And boy, did you let him know it. This, to me, sounded like something CM Punk would do after returning to the WWE and coming straight after the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Awesome restart man.

    Technician: Very interesting for the size of the promo. I understand the time constraints you were under so the size cannot be helped. But with what you gave, you did very well. It's intriguing that Princeton puts a $50K bounty on Quinn's head. What's even more intriguing is that Technician actually turned it down. It shows that he may be "ultra-violent", as you say, but that he is very calculating. It also ended on a very interesting cliff hanger, showing an anonymous offer for Princeton and not revealing any details. Makes me wonder if a turn is in store for your potential alliance with Princeton. Great job.

    Eyesnsane: This was a very good promo. Everything peaked my interest the more you went on, including who could possibly be behind all this (my guess is either Dinorah or Alana). But I do have a slight issue with part of it. In the promo, Eysnsane stated that Cryos prevented him from fighting Drew. But that's not really accurate. Even if you're referring to the Number One Contender's match they had, Princeton took the belt the night Cryos cashed in. So Cryos never actually prevented any match between the two. Other than that, this promo was a great job as usual. You're letting Drew know that this is your house now and that's important confidence for a Champion to have. Looking forward to more sessions between the doctor and Eyesnsane.

    Ghost: I like the redemption path that you're headed down. Can't wait till it gets turned around and you come back with a vengeance. Never expected Ghost to take his loss so hard. Thought he would have taken it in stride and kept on trucking. But it really shows that every match is personal for him now. Either he's going to snap out of this or he's gonna snap on someone. Either result's fine with me!
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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    The funny thing about that is the coding was actually an accident. I do all of my role-playing from my phone and normally, the coding works on other forums with the way I did it but this forum only colored each first paragraph instead of the whole speaking portions like it normally does.

    However, thank you for the feedback and I'm glad that you enjoyed my role-play.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Thanks, much appreciated. Of course, as with life...the twist of fate means I'm back. Grandmother died, earliest flight from Manchester...etc. Any sympathies appreciated, no need to share them, etc. It's one of those, that was a waste of time, but who knew it was going to turn out this way...etc. I'll be better next time, I hope. Always enjoy the feedback, good or bad...thankfully it's usually positive.

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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Thanks for the feedback Kilik! Glad your are enjoying this next line in the story with who controls the doctor. I see how you are thinking with Alana and Dinorah, which is good I'd like to keep people guessing about that for a while longer.... To understand the rants of Eyesnsane is to understand the mind of a man going mad. It was meant to be a bit detached like in real life .... Cryos sees it one way, Eyes another, and the fans opinions may differ. Really thank you I'm glad it kept you interested and a bit entertained.


    by the way sorry Imatt I was too pressed for time to give our match its due....





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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    I appreciate the feedback Kilik, thanks buddy. I tried something with Ghost for that promo where he's beginning to doubt and question himself, and whether or not if what he's doing is the right thing. I'll try to continue it with the next promo regardless of the outcome for this week's match.

    I'll get to some reviews another time.


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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Good job with feedback, Kilik. Much appreciated.


    Drew Stevenson: Gotta make sure the coding is fine. The way you did descriptions -- in first-person perspective -- it becomes confusing whether you're talking or we're getting an inner mental dialogue. The content was solid. The shots on Eyesnsane were a little repetitive. I was surprised -- and it gave some character development -- to read you interested in going for the North American Championship again. I'm intrigued.

    Another gripe, you use the word "that" waaaaay too much. "That" is an unnecessary bridge word trying to combine an object to its description. Same for "that is." You don't need it 80 percent of the time, and it makes me cringe seeing it every other sentence. Watch ... that.


    Jean Luc-Watkins: I love the Lion King easter egg in your promo. I enjoy your promo style and the article format. Good content, touching on both The Technician and Thomas Jordan. Eventually, you'll need to use a few more metaphors and analogy-filled writing. For now, this is fine. Remember, though, it's Fight Night, not Adrenaline Rush.


    Mike Parr: That was your best promo so far for the FWA, and arguably the best of Fight Night. You had an awesome metaphor introduction, a personal story to tell that tied into things. It showed character development, character, good content about Mac and the Garcia Brothers, a nice creativity and it wasn't trying to be overly flashy. I loved it, absolutely loved it. The story was a taaaaaad too long, but that's the only gripe. Well done, this was outstanding work. You pushed the angle. You built it. You did your work to make it better.
    Last edited by The Golden One; 02-10-2016 at 03:15 AM.


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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by The Golden One View Post
    Jean Luc-Watkins: I love the Lion King easter egg in your promo. I enjoy your promo style and the article format. Good content, touching on both The Technician and Thomas Jordan. Eventually, you'll need to use a few more metaphors and analogy-filled writing. For now, this is fine.
    Yeah, I get that - my MVH promo for 5SA was metaphor-heavy this week so I wanted something straight-forward for JLW. Hopefully I'll get a bit more abstract when I get into the character more. Thanks for the feedback!

    Remember, though, it's Fight Night, not Adrenaline Rush.
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    Re: 2/5/16 Fight Night Promo Discussion Thread

    Yeah, coding on an iPhone is absolutely brutal to do. The coding that I used normally works on other forums, but this one is completely different and it didn't take like I was hoping it would. For this fed, I may decide to go back with the third person style because it usually gets over more here but I actually have become more fond of the first person style in general.

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