RESISTANCE PRO: RISE LIVE SHOW REPORT 01/13/2012
SECOND CHANCES ARE HARD TO COME BY
Well it's been a little over a month since Resistance Pro made it's debut in the world of professional wrestling, for those of you who read my report on it HERE, you probably remember me not being too pleased. Well the good news is I had a much better time at this show.
To start things off I decided that the third tier crap was for the birds, I found myself a spot on the guardrail and stood the entire show. It got kind of tiring, since I've been running around all day, but it's certainly better than bending over a rail looking at the top of wrestler's heads.
Another difference was the kids. Lots of kids in the VIP section with great seats. I kind of hate the VIP section because it is the best seat in the house and goddamn it, why does Billy Corgan get to sit in the best seat in the house? I mean, really. Doesn't that kind of make anyone else angry? I want those seats. To learn more about my quest to get in to the VIP section, follow me on twitter @OccupyResistanceProVIPSection. Don't actually do that. That would be dumb. For one, it doesn't even exist. Yet.
Let's get to it.
D'ARCY DIXON HAS A BODY
To start things off D'Arcy Dixon came out and showed off her well sculpted features. I found it pretty enjoyable, but, you know, I'm a dude. D'arcy was the broad who came out at the last show to manage The Briscoes. She got on the mic to say she was scouting other teams and that she had big plans for The Briscoes, they just needed to listen to her. I have no idea why they actually do listen to her. Their relationship doesn't really make any sense. Melanie Cruise came out with her bizarre ass entourage. Melanie Cruise is your Resistance Pro Women's Champion. Her entourage is a woman with high boots and a riding crop and another woman with a dog. I'm not kidding. D'Arcy kind of shows herself out as Melanie wanted to get her title defense out of the way. This section actually played out really well, D'Arcy was away more entertaining on the mic, and Melanie Cruise's weird ass group is fascinating.
RESISTANCE PRO WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH
MELANIE CRUISE (c) vs. SERENITY
I got a soft spot for Serenity. For one, she's the only girl I could remember from the last show. She played a kind of heel at that show, but her she had to play face. I think I liked her as a heel better. This match was a little sloppy but was kind of a long squash to build up Melanie as a bad ass champion. the bumping was a little awkward and they should really tighten up their striking. Everything looked way too soft. Other than that, it never over stayed its welcome and got the job done in building Cruise. I think I dig both girls enough to continue seeing them. Serenity seems like she could be a lot of fun if she was in something a little more competitive.
THE DAIVARI BROS. vs. ROBERT ANTHONY & MR. 450
They cut the "Hammet" part of Mr. 450's name, so it sounds so much better, but... yeah, I've still never seen that guy do a 450. It's kind of like Rob Schneider in Surf Ninjas. Remember that movie? His friends surf, and he has a surf board, but he never surfs. He just waxes his board and pretends he was just about to hit the waves by the time they're done. It's a good flick. Anyway, that's Mr. 450. And to prove my point, a guy next to me said he's seen Mr. 450 six times and he's never seen him do it either.
Anyway, Anthony and 450 are a great pairing. Hilarious heels, with Anthony saying the weirdest funniest ****. "Shut your mouth or I swear I will come down there and pee all over you." OR "Keep the camera on me or I will kick you in the penis." The Daivaris were a really fun team as well, doing this fun loving Persian thing.
This match was really good. They did the ol southern tag formula with the heel's isolating one of the brothers until a hot tag. The cut offs were solid, especially when 450 elbow dropped Arya, who we all thought was going to finally make the tag, and he told everyone in the front row how sorry he was for putting a stop to it. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, this was the best Mr. 450 performance I've ever seen. He was just killing it and was a huge ball of energy the whole match.
The Daivari's won with top rope splash/leg drop combo that looked really nasty. I'd say all four of these guys kind of stole the show. I don't know how it'll play on DVD, but check this one out.
EL GENERICO vs. PAC.... ALMOST
This started off well enough, with both guys being very respectful. They'd trade some counters, one guy would win out, they'd shake hands and do it again. They started to really tell a story, with PAC being the first one to start showing the frustration. I started to feel like I was about to see something special and then.... and then Petey Williams happened....
THE KILLING OF A MATCH PART 1 In which Petey Williams Waltzes In
Petey Williams shows up rocking his Canadian Destroyer gear and acting like he's not Petey Williams. He says that this match can't be about the two best high flyers if he's not in it. He says they should make it a three-way. I say, "I was kind of digging what we had going on here, come back next time." But no, they make it a 3 Way.
Petey then hits the ring and bails out and tells them to fight. They're like, "Sure, that's what we were doing a minute ago." And before they can lock up he sneak attacks one of them. Then he bails. They go back to wrestling and he sneaks attacks the other. Eventually they're like, "Oh yeah, we can climb out of the ring." and they hit the outside and beat Petey's ass. When they head back to the ring, MATT CROSS jumps the railing and grabs a microphone.... oh man...
THE KILLING OF A MATCH PART 2: In Which Matt Cross Takes Advantage of Our Good Will
So Matt Cross comes in and basically says he wasn't even booked for the show, despite Resistance Pro announcing that he'd be on the show and despite him saying, "hey see you all at the show!" on Twitter. Despite all that, he wasn't booked, Terry, and since the crowd was into booking matches, would anyone mind if he turned this bout into a four way. Sure, why not. It's kind of like someone serving you a filet mignon and just when you get it, your buddy runs in and asks if he can have it, and then spits on it before you can answer. Sure, eat the whole damn thing now.
MATT CROSS vs. THE CANADIAN DESTROYER vs. EL GENERICO vs. PAC
The bulk of this was boring. Once Matt Cross got involved him and Petey joined forces and just isolated Pac or Generico with kicks and stomps. You could see the collective thought bubble over the crowd's head thinking about the simpler times when it was just two guys trying to show each other up. Now it's... it's this. Thankfully Pac blew up all over there faces and just started hitting stuff only Pac can do. There were people around me who had never seen him wrestler that were kind of gobsmacked at how effortlessly he'd flip off of Generico's back. The finishing stretch was really great, with everyone hitting something wild. I can't remember who it was but Generico just about killed someone with a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. It looked horrific.
Eventually my main amigo Generico connected with the top rope brainbuster for the win. After the match Generico held up Pac's hand and the crowd showed a ton of respect. The guy definitely won over some people and I think several were hoping Generico and Pac would hook up and enter the tag tourney. I'm 100% behind this idea.
The whole thing just felt like a bad idea, and though the finishing stretch was really good, I think many of us were left wondering about what we missed out on.
JAY BRADLEY vs. STEVEN WALTERS
Steven Walters was the guy who played the cheerleader in the gauntlet match at the last show. This match was bad. Just awkwardness. Miscommunications. Awkward bumping. Poor flow. It kind of felt like filling time but neither guy knew what to do with that short amount of time they had. I spent most of the match chatting with a couple next to me about what the hell is on Bradley's arm. One of the worst damn tattoo's in wrestling. Think about how much ground that covers. Anyway, Jay wins and then says some stuff about how he's called "Lonesome" kind of like a fat kid is called Tiny. We were all confused. I guess he's got friends. Then he said "Winning makes the whiskey and the women go down easy." Then we all got it. He's not lonely because he bangs a lot of whores who bang him because he's a winner. Get it? And in reality, he probably is lonely because the women don't actually care about him, so this gimmick just got all kinds of deep. DEEP.
COLT CABANA vs. DAVEY RICHARDS.
2nd Best Davey Richards match I've ever seen, behind his match with SHINGO at DGUSA. They started off with a little comedy schtick and Davey was actually pretty funny, which makes his tough guy cosplay act even more apparent. The more competitive parts of the match were pretty solid. Davey kept spamming the ankle lock which was drawing groans from the people around me, but for the most part he stayed pretty low key, and I thought that was refreshing. Really Cabana was the one who got crazy, doing this sick fireman's carry move off the top rope.
The finish was great too, with Davey going in low, presumably to pick a leg and go for the ankle lock again, but Cabana DRILLED HIM IN THE FACE with his knee. Davey was KO'd and Cabana quickly went down to pin him for the win. So satisfying. I'd say this and the Daivari Bros. tag were the best parts of the show. Another one worth checking out.
DA SOUL TOUCHAZ vs. GRINGO LOCO y HEROS
Before the match Willie, Marshe, & Acid Jazz played rock/paper/scissors to determine who wrestled the match. Willie and Marshe won. By the time the match was over they probably wish they'd lost and just sent C-Red in there.
It was awful.People who know me, and read my blog, know I love these guys. I've talked them up everywhere. There one of my favorite acts in wrestling. But I'm telling you right now, you will see Heros and Willie Da Bomb Richardson on a Botchamania soon. It was like quicksand. It started with this weird botch where Heros completely missed Willie's head for a hurricanrana and just landed on one shoulder, and it just got worse from there. Twice I thought Heros was going to have a broken neck. I was standing next to Da Soul Touchaz corner and I could just see the desperation to get this thing back on track on all their faces.
Eventually Acid Jazz hit Heros in the balls so Willie could drill him with a Pounce. The Pounce was so awesome that I think it almost erased the some of the sucky match from their memories. If that wasn't enough, Da Soul Touchaz beat up Gringo and Heros some more, and eventually Willie hit his top rope leg drop, which got a "Holy ****" chant. They got to at least go out on a high note, so that's something, but I bet they would have liked a "do-over" on that match. Brutal.
CHEERLEADER MELISSA vs. SASSY STEPHIE
This match may have been ruined by a guy in the crowd who could not stop yelling "MELISSA" at the top of his lungs. He'd had a lot to drink and was filming most of the match on his camera. This guy was bringing the creep in a big way, so I hope Melissa makes it out of Chicago okay. It was really kind uncomfortable. They did some okay work, nothing mind blowing, but I think a lot of the crowd, myself included, was just getting really tired. We'd been standing around for a long time at this point with no break or intermission, Add in Melissa's stalker making a spectacle of himself and you've got a recipe for a weird match.
Melissa had the match wrapped up after a curb stomp but Cruise's goons came down and ran interference, allowing Stephie to pick up the win. This was for a title shot at the next show, so we have a decent story developing with Cruise manipulating who challenges her and essentially ducking Melissa. It's a decent angle that has me intrigued.
RESISTANCE PRO HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
KEVIN STEEN vs. HARRY SMITH vs. THE SHEIK
Before we move forward, I have to point out something that I haven't talked about yet. Through out the night we kept getting reminded that after the show we can pay for a photo op with Billy Corgan and the new Resistance Pro Champion, whoever that may be. That's important because it comes back later.
ALSO, their belt is almost exactly like The Big Gold Belt(you know the one Daniel Bryan is rocking these days) except it has a big light blue "R" in the middle of it. I mean, if you told me it actually was the Big Gold Belt and they just hot glue gunned an "R" on it, I'd believe you.
Anyway, this match was kind of weak. Steen had talked to some kids in the VIP section prior to the match, and I don't know what he said but they didn't stop chanting "Kevin" the entire match. And I mean the entire match. He played his usual douche bag self, with all kinds of funny jokes. He's actually pretty funny, but holy crap did it ruin the drama of the match. He basically decided to team up with the Sheik, and they beat up Harry the whole time. It was pretty boring, and I think Steen's comedy stuff, while entertaining on its own, was counterproductive to the match. It also didn't help that it felt very similar to the four way from earlier, with two heels beating up a face for the majority of a match.
Harry eventually made the big comeback and locked Steen into a Sharpshooter for the win. Smith looked great in this match. He busted out some nice stuff, including a pretty nifty armbar that required more agility than you'd think he'd have. His selling is great and all of his moves look like they have great impact.
Sheik was utterly forgettable, playing second banana to Steen, and I honestly can't remember anything that he did in this match. At the last show it seemed like he was positioned as a top heel, and now he just kind of looks like a clown.
POST MATCH PHOTO OP: HARRY MEETS HIS NEW BEST FRIEND HIS NAME IS RHINO
So it was time for the photo op, and Rhino hustled over and said he bought a ticket. RHINO. He said he didn't want to fight(yet), he just wanted to be friends with Harry. What followed was maybe the weirdest, most interesting mic work of Rhino's career. He said that when one falls from grace it gets really lonely on the bottom, and that he wanted to be friends with Harry. Rhino said that since Harry was a man, he'd be cool with giving Rhino a title match, too. He then asked for the photos to be taken. At first all three of them stood together, awkwardly, and then he told Billy to get out of the picture. Rhino then took Harry's belt and put it over his own shoulder. The photographers took the pictures. He told them to take more pictures. They did. He said, "No, keep taking more pictures of this." Finally Billy stepped in and told him they'd think about his proposition and that this had gone on long enough.
Then Rhino lost his ****.
He said the only guy to ever kick him out of a wrestling ring was Vince McMahon and that if Billy didn't leave he'd punch him in his teeth so hard he'd never sing again. Then he told the champ that while Harry was hanging from a tit and pissing his diapers he(Rhino) was making guys bleed. He then picked up a bag and said that he had a belt too. He didn't pull it out, but I guess he was referring to the ECW title, which I had no idea he still had. He told Harry that he'd kick his ass before leaving.
I loved this. It was such a weird angle, but it all made sense, and Rhino was kind of perfect as this guy a ways away from his glory days, who was kind of desperate to get in on a young kid's spotlight. It feels very different and I think it's going to be a great angle to build around. Honestly, Harry Smith vs. Rhino may just be a dream match that I didn't know I wanted until tonight. Getting Harry away from Kevin Steen will do wonders for his character and putting him with Rhino just may be the best way to begin this reign.
Some really good matches, some really bad matches, but really I think this is a superior show to the first one. The Rhino/Harry Smith angle, is a huge positive in my book and is enough to get me to come back to the next show. Cabana knocking Davey Richards was so fantastic, I hope they got a good shot of it on video because I want to make a GIF of it and sport it on the DVDVR Board(where you can usually find me chatting about all kinds of dumb stuff)
There were obviously some problems, some of them were the wrestler's fault like the Soul Touchaz match and some of them were the booker's like the set-up for that 4-way, which had the same structure as the main event. I do feel like they learned from their mistakes, and with that in mind I have a little higher hopes for the next show. This promotion isn't reinventing the wheel. We learned that at the last show. They're treading where the ground is well worn. But if they keep learning, then it might just be a company worth going out of your way for. They're not there yet, but they could be. I certainly have more hope after tonight's show than I did after their first one.