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Thread: From the Vault: Old Promos

  1. #1
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    Coffee From the Vault: Old Promos

    These are some of the promos that are still in my inbox. I was just gonna delete them, but I decided to post them here for you all to enjoy.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Powers
    *Dan Powers interview*

    Interview: Dan Powers the whole worlds talking about your debut last week, how do you react to several questions poised your way?

    Powers: I can honestly say whatever your name is, I've never taken interest in what little fat geeks on the internet have ever said. So go ahead, surprise me, what questions have been poised my way?

    Interview: Well first of all you slapped a fan, why did you do that?

    Powers: Well fatty, I made it very clear last week, I couldn't care less about exactly what you fans think, and I sure as hell wanted to send the message of that being the case. You see that fan seemed to think his nerdy little opinion mattered, I told that fan exactly what I thought and what's funny is the little brat didn't stay around for much longer after that, he probably went home and cried to his mummy and tugged the old worm over the picture of the popular girl in his class's Facebook, you see Fatso I get that popular girl, I was getting her throughout high school and I'm still getting them today.

    Interview: How do you feel about finishing off your opponent in just under 5 minutes?

    Powers: Pissed off! I should've finished the overgrown bastard in 2 minutes, you call that guy a wrestler? You serious? That guy is pathetic, the fans felt sorry for the moron, hell even the Dan man felt a little sorry for him. Not sorry enough to spare him, or care random how badly I could've broken his already ugly face when I dropped him hard with that DDT, but you know, sorry like the Dan Man feels for all you uggos out there. Which in a country like America, is essentially everyone.

    Interview: You seem the "Egotistical" one, don't you think?

    Powers: You know what tubbo, if I honestly cared, I'd beat the crap out of you, the nerve for calling me "Egotistical" is it egotistical to care about how I look? And be proud of how I look? Is it egotistical to make sure there's no wrinkle on my face? No marks on my skin? Perfectly toned abs, perfectly proportioned, strong hard clean greyless hair? No, and when I do things like this, I deserve to walk around and remind everyone, I'm the best, I'm sexy, I'm the Pinnacle of wrestling and I'm the definition of perfection. You wish you were me Lardass and I know you do.

    Interview: A lot of questions are being asked about your thoughts on the opponent you've been given tonight, Callum Fielding is your opponent tonight, how do you feel about him?

    Powers: Who? Oh the English guy. Well, as a fellow member of the Commonwealth I'll give the guy credit, but I don't have time to stand here and kiss ass, the guy is nothing more than another guy the Dan Man is gonna go straight through, another winner under the Dan Mans belt and 3 more girls in the Dan Mans bed. You want me to stand here and say "Callum Fielding is a worthy opponent" well I'm not. There's nobody on this roster worthy of facing the Dan man, that's the price I pay when I'm this good.

    Interview: Recently former CWA World Heavyweight champion Roberto was voted "Sexiest man alive" how does the "Sex God" react to that?

    Powers: Us Canadians are never given the credit we truly deserve Fat tits. No bother, the Dan Man gets his credit in the morning when the ladies are pleading for more. My credit goes by the form of an orgasm. I know I'm twice better looking than Roberto and I know the world will soon know it, for People magazine to say he's the sexiest man alive. They clearly haven't got a look at this sexy bastard coming their way.

    Interview: And finally. Any words to our fans?

    Powers: Fans? You mean the fat sweaty bastards sitting out there? Yeah, lose some weight, get out more, cut a hair cut, get some new shampoo jesus christ I could be here all day. One thing I will say though is before you start getting attatched you pathetic little American slugs. I don't care about you, I have none of an inch of interest in you, I don't care whether you love me, or hate me. You don't deserve the Dan Mans time and the Dan Man doesn't have time for friends. You'll learn to hate me. You'll learn that I have no interest in you, you'll learn that your lower than the gum on my shoe. You'll learn that your nothing and you'll learn where you stand. The Dan Man see's success, sees winning matches, sees breaking necks and beating up people leads to women and women, women, is all the Dan Man cares about. Good night ladies and gents.

  2. #2
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    Re: Old Promos

    The Natural Steve Osborn

    Quote Originally Posted by The Natural
    A pimple-faced teenager is recording a video of himself on a camera phone.

    [ TEEN ]
    Holy sh*t, holy sh*t, it's really him. Check this out!

    The teen turns the camera forward and we see Steve Osborn in a pair of inexpensive jeans and a Mars Volta t-shirt. He's got Ray Ban's covering his eyes in a half-assed attempt at anonymity but it's definitely him. The image of Osborn grows larger and larger as the teen approaches.

    [ TEEN ]
    "The Natural," is that you?

    Osborn looks around for anyone from the press but doesn't see anybody.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Yeah, it's me. Listen kid, I'm just trying to get a little shopping done.

    [ TEEN ]
    Would you mind answering a few questions? I'm totally putting this up on YouTube later.

    Osborn hesitates, but acquiesces, considering all publicity is good publicity.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Alright, kid, what do you wanna know?

    [ TEEN ]
    First let me say you were totally awesome in your match with Callum Fielding.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Of course I was, I'm Steve Osborn. Are you done?

    [ TEEN ]
    No, no, I'm sorry. Umm, so what are you buying?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Are you serious?

    [ TEEN ]
    I'm sorry Mr. Osborn, I'm not a professional or anything...

    Osborn genuinely feels bad and attempts to vindicate the teen.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I'm grabbing the essentials. Fruits, vegetables, wheats, grains, no junk. Only losers eat junk. I bet Callum Fielding's stuffing his face with comfort food right now after being humiliated last week, that is, if he's not too busy icing it.

    [ TEEN ]
    Icing? Like cake?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    *sigh* No, like putting ice on his face to reduce the swelling he's probably enduring after I put him in the Natural Selection.

    [ TEEN ]
    You really gave it to him, huh?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I give 100% every time I go out there, regardless of whether the opponent is a nobody like Callum Fielding, or a big name star. I don't have to, mind you. Even at 50%, you're getting more out of Steve Osborn than what most wrestlers would consider 110.

    [ TEEN ]
    You're really into yourself.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Can you blame me? I'm 2-0 and looking to make it 3 next week. I bring out the best in all my opponents before I burn them to the ground. Hell, I could've made Terry Schiavo look good in the ring.

    [ TEEN ]
    You're totally going to hell for that one.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Don't worry, I accepted that long ago. God's got too big of an ego to let someone superior into heaven.

    [ TEEN ]
    Wow. You're something else...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I am something else. I am "The Natural" Steve Osborn. There's nobody like me. I am original, I am undefeated in CWA, and I am here to make a statement.

    [ TEEN ]
    And that statement would be...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    That I'm the best. Surely, everyone already knows it but some are having a hard time accepting it. That's fine. There will always be those who disagree, even when they know better. But when they're put into the ring with me, I'll have them tapping to the Natural Selection and giving testament to my name.

    [ TEEN ]
    Are you going after the World Championship?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Are you kidding? The waist of Steve Osborn is a mantle reserved for only the highest honor. As far as I'm concerned, CWA still has to prove itself TO ME before I would consider glorifying that strap.

    [ TEEN ]
    CWA's got some pretty big names...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    With the wrestling climate the way it is, I heard people say CWA was going to disappear. That with TNA stepping up and becoming real competition for WWE, that CWA would vanish. Well, that doesn't seem to be the case. On a related note, I'm here now. Do you see the correlation?

    [ TEEN ]
    Are you implying that CWA is still on the radar because you came along?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I'm not implying, I'm promising. The people want to see *ME*. It should come as no surprise that Five Star Attraction got the biggest buyrates of the year with MY NAME ATTACHED.

    [ TEEN ]
    Ummm... you were in the pre-show.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    A booking miscalculation, I'm certain. Someone probably got fired over that but I assure you they won't be making the same mistake again. I've proven twice now that I can handle anything CWA management throws my way.

    [ TEEN ]
    So what happened at Adrenaline Rush? Looked like Nero, McCoy, Daniels and deVries got you pretty good.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    They signed their death wish that night, no more, no less. I went to that ring to help them regain the spotlight. To satisfy the fans who continually chanted for the Natural to return after my win over Fielding.

    [ TEEN ]
    I didn't hear any chants...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    That's because they have to drown them out. Like when John Cena gets booed consistently at WWE events these days, but the opposite. No, the fans can't get enough of me and they want nothing more than to see Steve Osborn taking his rightful place in the main event.

    [ TEEN ]
    Well, I guess you're in the main event now...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Exactly. Do you think it is any coincidence? Surely you're smarter than that. At least, the CWA management was finally smart enough to give their main event some creedance. Simply putting my name in the headline is going to give that show ratings the likes of which Adrenaline Rush has never seen.

    [ TEEN ]
    Aren't you worried?

    [ STEVE OBSORN ]
    Worried?

    [ TEEN ]
    Yeah... I mean, McCoy brought you From Dust 'Till Dawn once and now you'll also be facing Roberto, it seems...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    It seems like you don't know who you're talking to. I'm STEVE OSBORN. The names you just mentioned, they don't mean a thing when you've got mine involved. It's like when you're working an equation, and you have to subtract from both sides - except when my name is part of the equation, there might as well not be another side. The "problem" is that CWA hasn't recognized my greatness yet and the "solution" is Adrenaline Rush's main event. I'll be winning that match that like I won the two that came before it and all the others that follow.

    [ TEEN ]
    But Roberto's...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    The reigning World Heavyweight Champion of CWA. I know. Do I care? Not really. As far as I'm concerned the CWA Championship was a footnote in his career compared to the biggest night of his life, stepping into the ring with me. He might not recognize it as such but that will be his inevitable downfall, you'll see. I don't really blame him, you can't help but underestimate Steve Osborn - because I'm better than what defines "the best." Words don't even exist to explain my superiority, and if they did, I assure you they'd sound so foreign you'd think I were speaking Japanese.

    [ TEEN ]
    Do you speak Japanese?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    No, I don't. But that's not the point. I could learn it if I tried but I haven't because I haven't needed to.

    Osborn starts putting his things on the conveyor belt for the clerk to check him out.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Are we almost done here?

    [ TEEN ]
    Well, my phone still has some battery left, so if you don't mind...

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You know what, I don't mind. This is a useful opportunity to send a message out there: to Ralph McCoy, to Roberto, hell, even to Nick Arsen. You're going to be stepping into the ring with the best technical wrestler your worthless eyes have ever seen. Your unsubstantiated pride might be blinding you from realizing it now - but you should be thanking me for adding a highlight to your reels and giving you the best match of your careers.

    [ TEEN ]
    I don't know, Arsen's pretty good.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Then he's about to become BETTER. I can't say from experience whether he'll be able to match up to my abilities, all I have to judge him off of is his prior performances in CWA and even then I couldn't really be impressed because the rest of CWA is inferior to me. If Nick Arsen doesn't give his all in that match, he's going to have to answer to Steve Osborn. I don't accept failure and I don't accept half-assing. I will accept a tag when it comes to me and I will do my best, as I always do, to put Ralph and Roberto down.

    Osborn's groceries sit near the bagging area.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Hey kid, make yourself useful and bag those.

    [ TEEN ]
    Aww for real?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You want me to break that phone into a million pieces? Do it.

    The teen reluctantly puts the phone down, bags Osborn's groceries and places them in the cart. Then he fixes the camera on Osborn once more. Osborn pushes his cart out of the store and toward his car. He uses a remote control to pop the trunk open and begins loading the groceries.

    [ TEEN ]
    You're not even remotely concerned about the match?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Listen kid, maybe you don't get it. I'm the best. There's none better. So I don't get concerned about my matches. My only concern is that fans of Roberto and Ralph McCoy will have their hearts broken, and for that I truly apologize. But it'll only be a matter of seconds before they become fans of The NSO, if they aren't already.

    [ TEEN ]
    You know, Nick Arsen lost his last match against Roberto.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I'm aware, and I don't care. Arsen isn't going out there alone this time, and with me in his corner, there's no way a sissy like Roberto or an idiot like McCoy is walking away with a victory. I mean, seriously, Ralph McCoy's I.Q. is lower than the speed limit and Roberto's manhood is more of a question than whether or not I might lose. Arsen, I believe, is capable of holding his own. He barely got beat by Roberto and he actually threw McCoy out of the rumble. He had an alright chance of doing this on his own, but with me in his corner... it's not up to chance. It's certain: Steve Osborn's getting the win. If Arsen wants to share my glory, so be it.

    Osborn gets into his car and starts it, begins to reverse with the window open.

    [ TEEN ]
    Alright, well I have to go now, thank you very much Mr. Osborn.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    No, thank you, kid.

    Osborn puts the car into drive, grabs the cell phone out of his hand and then guns it out of the parking lot. Screams of "HEY THATS MY PHONE!" fade away into the background. Osborn does his best to point the camera in his direction while he drives but it's all over the place.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I'm the only one who decides when my interview is over. Stay tuned.

    Osborn slams the cell phone shut.

  3. #3
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    Re: Old Promos

    Jackson Sonik

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicky Talent
    Jackson Sonik: "Tonight, Depirtista and myself find ourselves in a fantastic position. I've been a little spaced out on everything as of late, but luckily for me, Depirtista filled me in on everything! We have a chance to become the number one contenders to the tag titles that our dear friends, Los Calavera hold. We are so confident, that Deportista is getting our bags packed for Sydney, and I have came out to talk about our opponents. For shame, however. I didn't know who we were facing, and I had a hard time understanding Deportista on the phone, but I think I understood who we are fighting tonight. So, Barney Rubble! Molestable Slugs! We will see just how Molestable the two of you are when we stick our perverbial dicks into your metaphorical Frutty Pebbles, and get the prize at the bottom of the bowl, which so happens to be a match against Los Calavera, Ungawa! Until next time, I said a mouthful!"

  4. #4
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    Re: Old Promos

    CJ Franchise


    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Franchise
    The scene is opens ups in a gym in the middle of Manhattan. Several people are working out in the gym but one person in particular is working extra hard. The gym does not look fancy at all and looks poorly funded but it has been in the same spot for several years. The man is on the bench press doing his third go around on a set of 15. As he is doing his presses his trainer comes up to him and grabs the bar.


    Trainer: Hey Christopher…wait can I still call you that or you only go by your ring name now. (smirks) Mr. CJ Franchise ah I don’t know who was blowing confidence up your ass all of a sudden. Anyway you are overworking yourself. You have been here for three hours doing a lot different work outs you need to take a break….

    Franchise: A break? Did you see me in that ring last week Joe? That was not exactly how I wanted to debut. All my physical and mental preparation seemed to go down the drain because I performed sub par….

    Joe: Ahh you have been out of college for a little while and that was your first ever pro wrestling match on live television. It is a combination of rust and nervousness. You are one of the most gifted talents I have seen come through these old doors every week. Now you have your chance. Just take advantage.

    Franchise: Yea your right I don’t know what I was doing doubting myself because of ring rust. I am the Franchise. The wrestler that this company going to want to be the face of their company once they see what I can really do.

    Joe: That is the Chris that I know confident in his abilities and know what he is in it for. Anyway is it just another Joe on the street that you’re facing or does this guy actually face a challenge for you?

    Franchise: Not really sure who this guy is I believe he is a rookie as well if you can call a rookie a thirty year old assassin….

    Joe: Assassin? Are you sure….

    Franchise: Yea that’s what I have heard but it is irrelevant I am going to head out you take care Joe. I will see you next week than?

    Joe: Of course…..

    Franchise gets up from the bench and begins to collect his belongings. He waves to the old man before heading out the door. He hops in his Toyota Yaris and drives down the street heading toward his house. He walks up to his door step to see Michelle Kelly waiting at his door step with a camera man.

    Franchise: Wow you guys are very determined if you followed me back to my home town. I guess Maxwell did not like my attitude so they sent you?

    Kelly: Yes they did and unlike Maxwell I have a back bone so I will not put up with none of your crap.

    Franchise just stares at her for a moment than laughs as before he lets her in his house. They walk in and take a seat in the dinning area as the camera man stands and watch.

    Franchise: So what can I help you with my sweet lady?

    Kelly: Ok lets get right to the point because I am running on a schedule…

    Franchise: Nothing more important than the Franchise time waits for me because am not like any other man.

    Kelly: (Smirks) Well we will see about that. Last week you debuted in CWA and defeated Frankie Enzo how do you feel about your first victory here in CWA?

    Franchise: Unsatisfied I wanted more of a challenge but Enzo just became a stepping stone on my path to my ultimate goal. This is to become the face of this company and soon the face of wrestling.

    Kelly: Really? Very ambitious goal there and how do you plan on doing that?

    Franchise: Well my first step has been completed by showing a fraction of my talent in that ring so CWA can see what kind of talent they are getting. Enzo was light now I move onto the next one with Kazin Yoshimaru who is also new to this company by my understandings

    Kelly: A bit but he seems to be more of a mystery than Enzo. He was trained to be ruthless and not just be a sportsman. Do you think you can handle such competition?

    Franchise: Handle such competition? Baby girl I feed off of competition. It is what keeps me going in life. That is why I am here in CWA in the first place because the competition here looks formidable but I am here to show I can go with the best of them and if that means taking down a ruthless animal in the middle of that ring so be it. This anime character need to go back to the story books because he is about to become part of the book known as “The Men who fall to the Franchise”. That book will be coming soon as I rise through the ranks and take down everyone in my path. This Dragon is about to be slaughtered by this King you see here in this seat.

    Kelly: So you predict a defeat for “The Dragon” Kazin Yoshimaru?

    Franchise: Not only I predict a defeat….I guaran-damn-tee a victory against Super Mario’s sidekick. No plumber in a red suit going to save him. These fans are not going to save him and any of his teachings he has learn will either. I am always going to be the most lucrative choice because I am not a team player, I am a Franchise Player! Now get the hell out unless you’re giving me some I have stuff to do.


    Kelly and the cameraman gets up and walk out as Franchise shuts the door on them.

  5. #5
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    Re: Old Promos

    Don deVries

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybiggs
    In the backstage hallway, Don de Vries sits with a jar of peanuts, enjoying a pre-match snack.

    Don: Ah, peanuts: the snack food of champions.

    No sooner does he shovel a handful into his mouth than Orlando Maxwell approaches him, mic in hand.

    Orlando: Don, can you explain to the audience why you assaulted your own partner Ryan Daniels last week?

    Don: Jesus, what are you know, a philosopher? “Why this, why that, how come such, what’s the reason for so-and-so?” Can’t you just take things at face value?

    Orlando: Why, no; that would contradict my mission as a journalist.

    Don mutters grumpily under his breath.

    Don: Fine, you need a reason, here it is: Right after Five Star attraction, Daniels and I team up against two 90-lb weaklings, McCoy and James, both of whom I’d beaten senseless at the pay-per-view. Things are in control, so I figure I can attend to Anna Williams while Daniels finishes the job. Should be a lay-up, right? WRONG! HE BLEW IT! So for some reason, we get paired together on the next show, and he nearly blows it again, had I not been so clutch. That’s why I had to send a little “memo” to management- that team was going nowhere.

    Orlando: Maybe so, but perhaps an email wouldn’t bring the threat of retribution from Ryan Daniels?

    Don: Retribution? I did him a favor! The more he continued to stink the joint out while paired alongside my brilliance, the worse he looked by comparison, and the closer he got to being wished the best in his future endeavors. Who knows, he could’ve ended up wrestling in a high school gym, or worse- maybe a soundstage in Orlando. But hey, if he wants his “retribution”, I’m more than ready. Go ahead, come at me, bro, come get down on the mat with me- I’ll stretch you out like a pair of size 2 jeans on Kim Kardashian’s ass.

    Finished ranting, Don now glares angrily at Orlando.

    Don: Yeah, that’s it, you gonna stick around and amuse me? Dance, monkey!

    Don begins chucking peanuts at Orlando, who covers up and scurries away.

  6. #6
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    Re: Old Promos

    Abdul Akbar Alsam

    Quote Originally Posted by God
    We open up backstage where CWA Interviewer Michelle Kelly is standing by with a mic in her hand.

    Michelle Kelly: I swear it’s like I’m being punished for something. I always get the crappy interviews. Maybe I’ll get someone worth while at Uprising, someone like Roberto would be great instead of these losers all the time.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: As always you act like a complete professional.

    Michelle is started by the arrival of her guest at this time but quickly recovers and continues as if nothing happened.

    Michelle Kelly: Yeah whatever, lets get this over with, We rolling John?

    The whole camera nods in response.

    Michelle Kelly: Hi, I’m Michelle Kelly and I am standing by with one of the men who later tonight will look to ensure Rich Stone does not get what he wants, a one on one match with Guardian Devil at Uprising. Abdul, may I ask why exactly you are helping Guardian Devil? You two don’t seem to have a whole lot in common, and he is American, something that you have previously claimed to hate.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: I’m not helping Guardian Devil.

    Michelle Kelly: Ummm, yeah, you are.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: Thanks for cutting me off before I was finished. Like I was saying, I am not helping Guardian Devil, but am instead helping myself. You see, when I came back to CWA I made a vow to myself that I would make it to the top where I rightfully belong. I started out well by retiring that fat bastard that Roberto calls an Uncle.

    Michelle Kelly: That’s uncalled for, Uncle Salvatore is a very nice man.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: I don’t care if he is the nicest man on the planet, as far as I was concerned he was an obstacle and I had to eliminate him to fulfil my mission. I did that and I have no regrets about how I did it either before you bring it up.

    Michelle Kelly: Really? No regrets? I would think most people would be completely and utterly ashamed of themselves with the way they eliminated someone as well respected as Uncle Sal.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: I’m not most people. Most people are brain dead morons who will follow like sheep. I don’t follow anyone or anything but my own instincts and it seems to be working quite well for me recently. You need only look at tonight for a perfect example of how my instincts have helped me since returning.

    Michelle Kelly: Wait, getting your ass kicked by a pissed off Rich Stone is a good thing?

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: Believe me Michelle, it will be anything but an ass kicking. It will instead be a massacre of the career that Rich Stone has worked so hard for. You see, Rich Stone is like most people, he is a follower, he doesn’t think about his actions or the consequences, he just goes full steam ahead, and look where it has gotten him.

    Michelle Kelly: A potential match against Guardian Devil?

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: No. He wont be getting that match, even if he does somehow win tonight.

    Michelle Kelly: The stipulations are quite clear, if Rich gets the win tonight he gets Guardian Devil at Uprising, what do you mean he wont be getting that match?

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: It’s really very simple Michelle, so simple in fact that even you should be able to understand. Rich Stone doesn’t think about his actions, and because of that, later tonight he will be putting his pretty little wife in harm’s way. I guarantee that Victoria Stone wont be walking out of this arena tonight, instead, she will be leaving in an ambulance. I don’t care about wins or losses all that much, they are merely numbers that mean nothing to me. I prefer to leave a lasting impression upon my opponents. Do you really think Rich Stone will show up at Uprising if Victoria is in hospital back in the States? Even he isn’t that stupid.

    Michelle Kelly: What exactly has Victoria done to deserve to be in this horrible position?

    Abdul Akbar Alsam: I don’t even know where to start with that, but I do know where to start in the ring tonight. Rich Stone, win or lose, you wont be at Uprising, I guarantee it.

    Abdul Akbar Alsam walks off the interview setting leaving Michelle Kelly unsure of what to do with what she has just heard.

  7. #7
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    Re: Old Promos

    AMOA


    Quote Originally Posted by N. Quincy Talent
    *Michelle Kelly is in the CWA Locker Room with a microphone in hand. She feels a bit uncomfortable because several of the wrestlers are eying her down. He looks around to see Top Dog, St. Deuce, Bret Storm, and others treat her as eye candy. She then turns to see the red light on the camera and starts to focus at the task at hand.*


    Michelle Kelly
    "Ladies and gentlemen, I think it is obvious to say that the aftermath of our most successful Pay Per View to date, Five Star Attraction, has brought us some intruiging and interesting events. One of these events happens to be continuing the trend of controversial decision making as of late. Don de Vries has proven not only to be the ruler of the ring, but a man who gets what he wants. That includes Anna Williams. Nero James has tried dong whatever it takes to ensure the safety of his beloved Anna."

    *Adam Brown comes behind Michelle and spanis her ass. He turns to the impressed crowd behind him. Michelle meets his pervertness with a punch to the face. He falls to the ground. She looks up and shoots an evil glare at the spectators. The fellow wrestlers scatter, and she regains composure.*

    Michelle Kelly
    "The other recent event sending shockwaves through the promotion as been the debut of Jackson Sonik and Deportista, two friends that collectively make up A Mouthful of Awesome. Although the two have not only interesting pre-match rituals, but an unorthodox in ring style as well, they have made an instant impact, taking the tag team division by storm.Their dominance has even rewarded the fun loving duo with a tag team title shot at Uprising. This is our final stop to Sydney, and the action and the tension are ready to unfold! Tonight, the CWA World Tag Team champions, Los Calavera and the unlikely partner in Ryan Daniels take on an even weirder makeshift team, made up of A Moutful of Awesome and Don de Vries. Here to comment is one-half of the number one contenders, Jackson Sonik!"

    *The camera zooms out to get a shot of Jackson and Michelle. Jackson is smiling and giving a thumbs up at the camera. He is wearing a Techmo Super Bowl t-shirt and has a towel draped over his waist.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "Thanks for coming here. Sorry I couldn't work around your schedule. Nice closed fist, by the way."

    *Michelle blushes.*

    Michelle Kelly
    "Ha! Thanks. I underestimate my own strength sometimes. So, Jackson. What do you think about this upcoming six man tag match, as well as the tension that could ensue between yourself and Deportista, and the tag champions, Los Calavera?"

    *Jackson begins to laugh. He bends down near a bench and pulls up a workout bag.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "Michelle, I am a man made of laughs. I love to hear a chuckle from the voice box of the public occasionaly. It is what makes me feel good. My humor rubbing off on other people makes me just enjoy the rest of a day. I enjoy practical jokes. I love classic one liners. Hell, sometimes racist stereotypes are funny, AMIRITE?"

    *Jackson wants a high five from Michelle, but she doesn't budge.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "You are a tough nut to crack, Michelle, but I am sure you understand this analogy. Because while I love to laugh, I find one form of flatery and humor to be pain enducing and teeth grinding. I HATE IRONY!"

    *Sonik takes off his shirt to reveal a good physique for a couch potato. He hoists a bag over his shoulder.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "I hate irony because,'as it is defined, least expecting motives or events from an opposite standard. Irony makes me feel dimwitted. Irony makes me feel like a fool who has no capability of sensing the right choice. Over the course of being here with Deportista in CWA, him and I have been the center of some ironic circumstances, and a great example can be tonight."

    *Jackson sets his bag down so he can tie his laces.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "I find it painfully ironic that even though Deportista and myself are the newest flavor here in CWA, winning matches after matches in the form that we know how to do it. Yet, some people that grace this very locker room do not have the respect to endorse our winning ways."

    *Jackson gets up and takes his singlet out of his bag. He walks behind a big wall. Michelle tries to follow him, but for reasons of being naked, Jackson haults her from further moving.*

    Jackson Sonik
    I am positive that two-thirds of our opponents tonight's six man, Los Calavera, have enough balls to respect our impact and our ability. Then again, I find it ironic that from Ms. Tyler's words gives myself and Deportista the classification that we are like hunters. Like we are hunting after prized elephants."

    *A towel is thrown over the wall and on top of Michelle's head. She struggles to get it off. When she removes it, she sees Jackson in full gear.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "What is even more ironic that the attitude that Miss Tyler presents are the words that Miss Tyler presents. Because, as I least expected, could not be more true. However, it aches me to believe that the roles are reversed. As much as we love and respect Jose and Julio, they are the poachers, carrying the prizes that us animals want for the showcase. We are the elephants. And I play off of your elephant reference to further highlight the irony because our tag team partner just so happens to be 'The Elephant Man' Don de Vries. The complete opposite of myself and Deportista. Ironic, don't ya think? A cold and bitter man that sees destruction and hostility as a form of satisfaction. Tonight, I want to put an end to this ironic humor surrounding a Mouthful of Awesome. Not only do we want to go into Uprising with momentum by defeating Los Calavera and Ryan Daniels, but we want chemistry with Don."

    *Jackson gets something from his bag and runs back behind the wall.*

    Jackson Sonik
    "Tonight, we want ourselves and Don de Vries to introduce the crowd to the newest force in pro wrestling.......THE ELEPHANT TRIFECTA!"

    *Jackson comes around the corner with elephants ears and a strap on elephant trunk on his nose. michelle shakes her head.*

    Michelle Kelly
    "You are an idiot."

    Jackson Sonik
    "Hey, I just want Don to fit in! Besides, at least I didn't cross the line and do an Anothny Hopk----"

    *Deportista comes into the locker room in not only his gear, but with paper mâché lumps all over his body. Jackson walks up to Deportista. He seems offended. Still donning his elephant ensemble, he shakes his head. Jackson walks out of the locker room.*

    Deportista
    "Es meina compro gala gala Beuno, no?"

    *Deportista gets no reponse from his bilingual blabber. He frowns and begins to take the paper mâché off. Michelle approaches him.*

    Michelle Kelly
    "You look ridiculous."

    *Shades from their first encounter, Depirtista puts a Vulcan Death Grip on Michelle. She passes out. He runs out of the locker room as we cut to commercial.

  8. #8
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Rich & Victoria Stone

    Quote Originally Posted by Franchise Tag
    The scene opens up in the parking lot of the arena in Hartford. The parking lot is empty since the show has not even come close to starting yet. A black Nissan GT-R pulls up and parks in the closest spot to the door. The driver and passenger door swing open and the trunk opens as well. Rich and Victoria Stone step out of the car. Victoria stretches her legs out while Rich walks to the trunk and grabs their bags. Rich places his bag over his shoulder, and hands Victoria her bag. She smiles and takes her bag as they walk into the arena. Rich senses something wrong with his wife. He grabs her arm and stops her from walking.

    Rich: What’s the matter?

    Victoria: Nothing why?

    Rich: You were really quiet in the car, and just something about you doesn’t feel right.

    Victoria: I’m sorry just a lot on my mind today.

    Rich: What’s on your mind babe?

    Victoria: Nothing important. We got a big match tonight. I don’t want to bother you with it.

    Rich let’s go of Victoria’s arm. He then drops his bag on the ground and grabs Victoria by the waist with both hands.

    Rich: See now something is wrong with you. Since when do you not want to talk about what’s on your mind? It’s me you can tell me anything you know.

    Victoria smiles and almost comes to a chuckle.

    Victoria: Well to be honest with you. I’m terrified for tonight’s match. I just feel like I’m going to ruin everything for you.


    Rich: Let me ask you one question… your last name is Stone right?

    Victoria: Obviously.

    Rich: Then you will be fine in the ring.

    Victoria: You really think it is going to be that easy Rich? Abdul Akbar Alsam and Hakeem Abdul-Mustafe, Rich. They are monsters.

    Rich: Well I weigh the same as Mustafe, and Alsam is smaller than me so that should be a problem.

    Victoria: Well, that is great for you, but look at me. I am not even half of you Rich. Those guys are going to rip me apart if they get a hold of me. And the worst part is, if I lose, you don’t get your match at Uprising. I’m trying Rich, but it is really hard for me to accept the fact that I can ruin this for you.

    Rich looks down then looks at Victoria. He removes her sunglasses and looks at a teary eyed Victoria.

    Rich: Tori, look at me. I promise you that nothing will happen to you.

    Victoria: How can you be so sure?

    Rich: I’m not sure, but I know I would do anything to make sure you don’t get hurt. And if either of them puts their hands on you, I will rip them apart piece by piece. I will hurt them in places they didn’t think possible.

    Victoria smiles and wipes a tear that crawled down her eye. Rich puts her sunglasses back on.

    Victoria: My hero.

    Rich and Victoria start laughing hysterically.

    Victoria: But seriously, thank you. Means a lot knowing that you are going to be there. I know you will do your best out there.

    Rich: That goes without saying. I just need you to do what you do best, and stand there and look pretty.

    Victoria: Well that I can do without a problem. Are you sure you can handle this though. You haven’t been feeling great lately.

    Rich: Stop worrying about me. Worry about yourself. I am the Franchise, Rich Stone, both of them combined don’t match up to me. I beat Mustafe without breaking a sweat. Quite frankly if I wasn’t such a nice person, he would probably be in surgery right now. He would have a doctor trying to reattach nerves.

    Victoria: I love it when you talk like a tough guy. We all know you are a sweetheart on the inside.

    Rich: Only you know that.

    The two smile at each other. Rich leans in for a kiss and Victoria playfully turns away. Rich picks her up and carries her into arena after picking his bag up. The scene ends as the double doors swing shut.

  9. #9
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Dan Powers

    Quote Originally Posted by Dan Powers
    Dan Powers walking backstage

    Interview: Excuse Mr Powers can we catch a word?

    Powers: MY GOD! every week you keep bugging me! What do you want titty titty boom boom?

    Interview: Well tonight we need to catch a couple questions concerning your match?

    Powers: My match? I have a match tonight? You sure?

    Interview: Yeah, your teaming with Bob Awesome against Isano Luchadoro and Hawk Bonsen

    Powers: Bob Awesome?

    Interview: Bob Awesome

    Powers: You mean Mike Awesome?

    Interview: No I mean Bob Awesome.

    Powers: Surely that's copyright infringement. Oh well, so what you're saying is somebody didn't quite catch the idea, Dan Powers isn't a "partner" kinda guy. He doesn't like teaming with guys. He doesn't like being in the same ring as the guy unless he can beat the holy hell out of him! So what, no, why have I been asked to team with a nobody? A man who will no doubt achieve nothing in his career?

    Interview: That's almost a bit harsh coming from a fellow newcomer Dan

    Powers: Shut up chubz. I've come in and grabbed 2 big wins. 2 impressives wins, I came in and laid my mark down within minutes. People know who I am already, they're checking me out on Twitter, I'm Google.ca's 10th most searched thing of January 2010. I'm on the way up! People know who the Dan Man is and if they don't they wanna know.

    Interview: What about your opponents?

    Powers: Okay, I'll humour you, my opponents. Isano Luchadoro. Sounds like he got his name from a cereal packet, you know those crappy cartoons on the back? "Eat Isano Luchadoros corn flakes!" there's a great career for ya, he's not really Mexican y'know? I'd know having spent half my career wrestling with the greatest Luchadors, Silver King, El Hijo Del Santo, Mistico, Dos Caras, Rey Misterio Jr, they'd be offended by Cornflake wannabe. Pathetic

    Interview: And Hawk Bonsen?

    Powers: Great guy, love to work with him.

    Interview: Really?

    Powers: No

    Interview: Oh.

    Powers: Seriously Mark Henry, I've never seen the guy. I hear he thinks he's funny, that's great. All Canadians know comedy is the lowest form of entertainment. The Dan Man doesn't care for humour, unless it's Seth Rogan then it's different. The Dan Man isn't scared though, he's the best pure athlete on the roster right now.

    Interview: When did you decide that?

    Powers: Your wife told me it when I boinked her last night.

    Interview: Leave my wife out of this Dan!

    Powers: Calm down Chewbacca. I know you and your wife sleep in seperate beds, she screws the waitor at the Chinese round the corner and you wonder why she comes home smelling like chow mein. Answers simple Chocolate bucket. You can't keep your lady happy. Who cares. I don't care. More action for me.

    Interview: Get on with the interview, what are your predictions for tonight?

    Powers: My predictions? Bob Awesome shuts up, keeps out of my way, lets me get on with the match, I beat Cornflakes and birdman. I end it before the fat slobs like yourself have finished buttering your popcorn and I go home, boink your wife again, then sleep with lots and lots of ladies yet again, what's changed? Nothing, nothing ever changes when your the Pinnacle Of Sexy, no, lets go with your ladies nickname, The Best Pure Athlete to ever grace this dump. Dan, "The Sex God", Powers.

  10. #10
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Joey Nicholas

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomas
    The scene cuts to the ring where Connecticut resident Harvey Buckworth is currently standing in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand causing his home state to instantly erupt into cheers.

    Harvey Buckworth: Thank you all here for such a warm reception! It feels great to be back home in the wonderful state of Connecticut!

    The arena bursts in cheers along with multiple “Harvey!” chants for a few moments before a teary eyed Buckworth motions them to pipe it down.

    Harvey Buckworth: Again, thank you all for your support! Now Ladies and Gentlemen, without further adieu, please welcome out to the ring, “The Real Deal” Joey Nicholas!

    The opening chords to “Now is the Time” performed by Dope ring throughout the arena, causing the once eccentric crowd to turn sour. They are tuned out by an explosion of Pyro that erupts at the top of the stage where Joey Nicholas makes his way out from behind the curtain before stopping at the top of the ramp and performing what one would assume to be a prerehearsed pose. The Real Deal cockily saunters down the ramp paying no mind to the insults that the Hartford Connecticut throw at him. Nicholas slowly makes his way up the steps before strutting to the middle of the apron and striking yet another pose before finally making his way into the ring and walking up to Harvey Buckworth.

    Harvey Buckworth: Now Joe…

    However, the CWA commentator is cut off short when Nicholas promptly slaps Buckworth across the face knocking the older man down to the mat. The audience is in a frenzy as they jeer Joey Nicholas who now stands over Harvey before giving him a swift kick to the ribs. Joey deviously grins into the camera before picking up the microphone on the mat next to Harvey’s lifeless body.

    Joey Nicholas: Someone take this regurgitated waste out of my ring! Jimmy boy get your ass in here right now so I can be interviewed by a man with some sort of class!

    Amidst the heat from the crowd, Jim Taylor jumps up from his seat on the broadcast booth ecstatically and sprints up the steps before casually making his way into the ring. He nonchalantly steps over his fallen broadcast partner before making a bowing motion in the direction of Joey Nicholas who in turn smirks, basking in the imaginary glory currently radiating from Jim Taylor’s brown nosing. While the trainers and EMTs help Harvey out of the ring and into the back, Taylor is handed the microphone from Nicholas.

    Jim Taylor: Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce to the man on my right, he is the most talented, the most eccentric, and the most charismatic man on the planet; the Real Deal, Joey Nicholas!

    Nicholas mockingly takes a bow in front of the aggravated crowd before leaning towards the mic and putting his arm around Taylor’s shoulder

    Joey Nicholas: Now that right there was an introduction for the ages!

    Jim Taylor: Thank you Champ! Now what my imbecile partner was trying to get at was,
    Logan V’s challenge to you earlier tonight was where we hade the privilege to witness the two of you coming to terms that if he was victorious and you came up short that you would put up the AMLL cruiserweight championship along with your X-Fly contendership on the line at Uprising in a winner take all match. Are you at all confident that you will succeed in the Pick Your Poison main event bout in which your adversary Logan V has pit you against the “Underdog” Nero James thus eliminating any thought of the winner take all stipulation?

    Joey Nicholas: What is that a joke Jimmy? Of course I am! Nero James saw me back down from him last month solely because I was still recuperating from the attack by Logan at my birthday bash. This underdog scenario has been the story of my life it seems as of late same book, different chapter. Why just last summer I recall being faced with the task of destroying the hopes and dreams of Ralph McCoy. Now all of you may also be claiming that the two are miles apart from one another and surprisingly I concur as on one hand you have a retarded drunken hick that will never amount to anymore than Roberto’s fluffer while on the other you have a guy who carries around a stick named Woody to compensate for his erectile dysfunction!

    Jim Taylor: No wonder Anna left Nero for an “Elephant Man!”

    Both men snicker at their own jokes while the crowd voices their disapproval

    Jim Taylor: On a serious note,I would personally like to know what your thoughts are about stepping back into the ring after a short hiatus?

    Joey Nicholas: Well all of my Nicholites in attendance as well the ones all around the world at home watching me via flat screen have been completely deprived of witnessing me entertaining them weekly in the ring since I was ultimately screwed out of my championship reign at Five Star Attraction by that crooked official Johnny Yamaguchi. If you haven’t heard by now Johnny, I have since taken my case to the board of directors and mark my words, it will set in stone that you will never officiate another match of mine as long as I am active here in the CWA ever again! As far as you are concerned Logan V, it will not be if it will be When I reclaim MY X-Fly championship at Uprising, it will put you in the CWA history books as the shortest reigning champion second only to Doc Adams. Now come on out here Nero boy. get ready to get schooled like the little bitch that you are!

  11. #11
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Logan V & Los Calavera

    Quote Originally Posted by The Half Boy
    The shot opens to show Logan V, flanked on either side by Los Calavera. The lights in the room are dim, and the masked features of the group are hard to make out, but the tension in the room is palpable. Logan V begins to address the camera, with a harried and cracked voice.

    Logan V: I don't think that anybody would argue that after the last Adrenaline Rush, Miss Tyler was owed a little time off, so we've packed her off home, and if it's quite alright with the powers that be, we'll be killing two birds with one stone, and addressing both matches in the single timeframe allotted to us.

    LV: So let’s start with the tag team champions, and then we'll move onto me. Tonight, Los Calavera team up with Ryan Daniels to take on the absurdly named a Mouthful of Awesome, and Don deVries. As if their opponents aren't challenge enough, the upper echelons have turned this into a handicap match, by tying a lead weight around my boy’s ankles.

    LV: Whatever. It doesn't matter. Because Los Calavera are the best tag team in two different promotions. Two different countries, even. A Mouthful of Awesome couldn't even be classed as competition if Los Calavera were forced to fight with one arm tied behind their backs, and Don deVries is a gorilla with one too many screws rattling around in the old brain box. Shit, I stopped buying South African grapes in the 80's so this guy could have the right to play Rugby. So go ahead, throw whatever you want at them. They'll just keep batting away, and pinning shoulders to the mat.

    Logan nods to the tag team champions, who move out of shot.

    LV: And with those formalities out of the way, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. Joey Nicholas, in my entire life, I have never meant anybody on the face of this planet who I have more disdain for. You went so far past the line last week that you stumbled into No Man's Land. Because all you managed to do was make me angry. There are two things in the world that I love. That girl and this mask. You threatened one to try to get your hands on the other. Well I'll tell you something, you no good sack of shit: All I can see through these eye holes is a big red rag and you're waving it in front of the wrong kind of bull. You're so caught up in your little games that you don't even realise that you're trapped in a labyrinth, and the only route out is through me. You can throw road blocks like Minimal Pain in my way, but I've kicked the snot out of that worthless punk before, and I'll do it again. There's a Minotaur on your heels, son, so you best get to running.

    Logan V stares into the lens and storms off camera as the scene fades to black.

  12. #12
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    El Tico & El Elfo

    Quote Originally Posted by PY
    Act One: El Elfo & His Star Wipe

    El Elfo:
    My name is El Elfo, and I am a superhero. No, I do shoot webs out of my wrists like Spiderman and I cannot see through your clothes like Superman. My story is not tragic like the one of “The Batman!” I also do not wear an oversized cod piece like the masked Avenger!

    I do have a partner, his name is El Tico. We moved to the sunshine state of California many, many years ago. However, unlike the partners in San Francisco, we are not how you would say, “In a romantic relationship.”

    Over the years people have place obstacles in our way, telling us all the things which we are supposedly unable to do. However, thus far we have been able to prove them wrong. That is why we are here in CWA. We want to be an inspiration to your children. We want to show them that no matter whom they are they can achieve whatever they put their mind to.

    As a child my favourite superhero was Batman. I wanted to live in a mansion like him. I wanted to drive the fancy cars, fly the technologically advance planes, and ride on the pimped out boats. Now, I am just like Batman!

    Star wipe down to show El Elfo standing inside the door frame of the front door of his house.

    El Elfo: Hello MTV and welcome to my crib~!

    El Elfo turns around and waddles down the main hallway of his home towards the kitchen.” Umpa Lumpa Gobblity Goop!”

    Now I know what everyone wants to know, what exactly does a superhero have in their fridge? Well, I have an addiction to Coke.

    El Elfo opens up his fridge door and pulls out a pack of small sized coke cans.

    El Elfo: What is this doing in here?!

    He throws the cans of coke behind him and pulls out a clear plastic bag with white powder in it. El Elfo grabs a stepladder, sets up, climbs the step ladder, and places the bag on the counter. Slowly he opens the bag, drool dripping down his chin.

    El Elfo: Ah, this is the stuff. Watch this, no hands!

    El Elfo dives face first into the bag of white powered. El Elfo rubs his face back and forth within the bag.

    El Elfo: Ah, what a rush! Say “Ello” to the bad guy. You people, you need people like me. You need people like me so that you can point your grubby little fingers and say, “Hey look at the midget, look at his little butt go as he walks. He’s so cute!” Well guess what, last night I introduced your girl to my little friend! BAM, look at the picture!

    Now follow me up stairs, cameraman!

    Star wipe to El Elfo standing in front of his bed.

    El Elfo: This is where they say the magic happens. I say this is where the saying, “It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean” started. Yes it may be true, that while others, such as the Negros pack a streamliner, I pack a small canoe. However, I get girls like I’m the Nature Boy Ric Flair. WOOOOOOOOOOO! And if you don’t like that, well your mother can suck my tiny dwarf penis!

    Cut over to El Elfo in his walk-in closet.

    El Elfo: This is my closet. As you can see, much like your celebrities of the world, I have a shoe fetish. My shoes are not custom made however. You see my feet are so small I can’t even wear boy’s shoes. Look at this, Barbie! I have to wear girl’s shoes, pink Barbie shoes!

    El Elfo tosses down the shoes in disgust.

    *RING RING*

    A red phone on the end table rings beside the bed.

    El Elfo: Commissioner Gordon sir, how may I help you? Oh my god the horror, a burning building with a cat inside? I bet it was set by those evil doers Hardcore Hell. Tell El Tico I will meet him there! To the Elf Cave!

    El Elfo sprints into his closet, pulls on a shoe and the back wall of his closet opens to reveal a pole.

    *Slow motion camera shot. Like what you’d get in a cheap porno movie.*

    El Elfo jumps on the pole and slides down head first, very slowly. His midget legs clasp around the post, his junk vibrating as he glides against the pole.

    ♪Cause I'm N Luv wit stripper
    He poppin he rollin, he rollin
    He climbin that pole and
    Im N Luv with stripper
    He trippin he playin, he playin
    Im not goin nowhere gui,im stayin
    Im N Luv wit stripper♪


    El Elfo: Hold on kitty I’ma coming!

    *Bring Bring, Bring Bring*

    The garage door opens and El Elfo rides his tricycle off into the sunset.
    -----------------------------------------------------------

    Act Two: El Tico Goes To The Store

    El Tico: Hello! Hello! I am El Tico and my English not so good. I am a super hero like my friend El Elfo and we fight crime in Los Angeles. I like to bang a lot of women with nice buzzoms.

    El Tico smirks at the camera man.

    El Tico: Right now we're all going to the Home Depot so I can build a tree house for my cat. My cats name is Bob and he's very very fat. But enough about me, lets go to Home Depot and buy some wood!

    Forward the scene to outside of Home Depot.

    El Tico: Ah yes, the Home Depot. Many people back in my country told me Home Depot is the home of redneck. I have no idea what redneck are, but I'm sure we will find out, huh? Lets go inside.

    El Tico walks into Home Depot with the camera crew following along. As he walks in he sees a gorgeous, thick blond women who catches his eye. He turns around and follows her and when he gets close he smacks her ass!

    El Tico: Hey baby. Ever been with a little man before?

    Blond: Pshh, you wish.

    El Tico: Listen, I can show you why in my country I am called the Mexican jumping bean.

    The blond looks thoroughly disgusted and walks away.

    El Tico: Hm. She must been lesbian. Oh well.

    El Tico turns back around and continues to walk through the Home Depot store. In front of him he sees a worker and walks over to him for some assistance.

    El Tico: Um, excuse me buddy. Hi.

    Employee: Hello sir. How can I help you today.

    El Tico: Well I'm looking for some wood for a tree house for my cat. My cat is fat.

    Employee: Um ok then sir. I'm sure I can help you find something suitable for your cat. Follow me, the lumber yard is right over there.

    El Tico: I'm not looking for lumber buddy. I'm looking for wood! Lots and lots of wood!

    Employee: Sir lumber is just another word for wood.

    El Tico stares off into space.

    El Tico: Well why can't you just say wood! I said to you my English not so good! Don't use big words!

    Employee: Sir you never told me your English wasn't good.

    El Tico: Yes. Yes I did. I told you outside!

    Employee: Sir I believe you're confusing me with someone else.

    We hear the sound of "YMCA" by the Village People play and Tico breaks out in dance.

    "It is fun to stay at the Why! EM! SEE! Ay! I said it is fun to stay at the WHYEMSEEAYYY AYY!"

    The home depot employee looks down at Tico with a confused look on his face while Tico reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.

    El Tico: Um sorry buddy. This my cell phone. I can't help but to dance and sing when I hear my ringing tone.

    El Tico answers his phone.

    El Tico: Ello commissioner. How are you? WHAT? There's a fire?! With cat inside?! I have a cat!! Is it my home?! Oh okay I get scared. Did you notify El Elfo? Ok, I'll be right there.

    *Click*

    El Tico: Um excuse me buddy but the commissioner called. He said that there's a fire and it might have been set by the um.. Douche bag known as Hardcore Hell. I must go.

    Tico jumps out of the cameras viewing range as the Home Depot employee stands there mind boggled.

    Employee: What the hell was that?

  13. #13
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    The Natural Steve Osborn

    Quote Originally Posted by The Natural
    "Map of the Problematique" by Muse cues up and the fans begin to boo. It's not long before "The Natural" Steve Osborn is heading to the ring to a chorus of boos. He's wearing dark jeans, white Adidas shoes and a blue track jacket. Osborn points and laughs at those he considers inferior (read: everyone) as he approaches the ring, requesting a microphone from a producer ringside. Osborn goes up the steps, walking along the apron before wiping his feet and entering slowly. The music fades out slowly. Osborn opens his mouth.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    ...

    Osborn holds the microphone close to his face and leaves his jaw ajar but says nothing. He puts the microphone down and smiles at the crowd. After they boo him louder than before, Osborn stops smiling and raises the microphone to his mouth.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I don't know if any of you were aware, but the results are coming in from the online polling at our company's website, and among the most voted candidates for Best Newcomer is yours truly, "The Natural" Steve Osborn. Am I surprised?

    Osborn puts the microphone down and shakes his head slowly. More boos for Osborn.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Yeah I've read what the fans of CWA are saying: they like to watch me wrestle but they don't like to hear me talk. Completely understandable. The truth hurts. I've only been here a short time and already I've enjoyed a victory against three opponents in the first televised CWA appearance of Steve Osborn leading in to Five Star Attraction, and teamed with Nick Arsen to wipe the floor with the Shining Rainbows. You haven't really known me long enough to commit to accepting me as your new favorite wrestler, but I'm enjoying too successful of a career in this federation for you to ignore. It's gotta be tough watching your favorites fall victim to the Natural Selection. It's three taps in an admission of inferiority that may haunt them forever. The first tap is degredation, the second humiliation, and the third: defeat.

    Osborn points toward the entrance ramp.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I've been establishing myself with submission victories over the CWA roster over the past few weeks and to be honest, I don't intend to stop anytime soon. This doesn't mean that those in the back should fear me. Agreeing to step into the ring against Steve Osborn isn't a mistake. On the contrary, it's a learning experience everyone should have the opportunity to gain wisdom from. A few seconds in the Natural Selection sounds like valuable time for anyone looking to better themselves.

    More boos.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I was going to sit here on my high horse, literally, riding a horse down to the ring... but it was a trophy-wining prize horse, and their type is allergic to losers like all of you.

    The crowd's hatred for Osborn is peaking. "The Natural" laughs at them.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Instead, I've agreed to come out and say a few words. I suppose all of you want to know why I've helped Arsen humiliated Roberto and McCoy. I suppose you feel you've got a right to know.

    Osborn smiles at the audience.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Truth is, you don't.

    They erupt.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    All you deserve to know is that what I do, I do for all of you.

    Osborn nods slowly at the audience and they begin to quiet down.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You pay to see us ringside, or you watch at home and satisfy our advertisers - you put food on our tables and I am forever thankful for that. It's the reason I do my best. Unfortunately, though, when I do my best - it makes my opponents look bad. They begin to resent me backstage. It's very easy to gain enemies in the locker room when you're outperforming them on a weekly basis.

    Despite the crowd roaring in disapproval, Osborn smiles and points in a 275 degree rotation.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You've all witnesssed the greatness that is STEVE OSBORN introducing the audience to what wrestling is supposed to look like. When I got teamed up with Arsen recently to take on the Shining Rainbows, I had no idea what to expect. Well, I knew I would win, naturally, but I certainly hadn't expected to be put into a tag team match so early in my tenure within CWA... Regardless, we got the job done and came out of that one with a victory... but I should make myself perfectly clear: I don't believe in teamwork at it's core. "Trust," to me, is a fictional term that represents an ideal unattainable in today's world. However - there's something about Nick Arsen that I can relate to that allowed our pairing to prove so successful. There's something about Nick Arsen that compelled me to lend a helping hand at the last house show. And there's something about Nick Arsen that makes me take him seriously as a wrestler in this organization.

    Osborn scratches his chin and paces for a moment.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    We've got something in common and it's not our mutual hatred of the CWA Champion, Roberto.

    The fans cheer at Roberto's mention but Steve Osborn wastes little time before continuing.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Nor is it our disdain for that idiot Ralph McCoy! No... it's that we're TOO GOOD FOR CWA.

    The camera pans around at fans, most are booing. Some are giving thumbs down to the cameras, others are giving Osborn the finger.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    It's true. They literally have to restrain themselves from scheduling Arsen and I from competition so that the fans will bother to take an interest in the other, inferior performers within the organization. I should have been showcasing my talent tonight, proving to everyone yet again that I am an example of what the fans deserve. But they didn't want the wrestlers backstage to riot or protest. Maybe my arrival has put a dent in their merchandise sales, their fan support, their believability. I wouldn't put it past any of them to be concerned, but it's not about them. It's about what all of you want - and you want Steve Osborn!!

    The negativity in this arena is deafening, Steve Osborn smirks and then leans against the ropes.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I know that since I've been stealing fans left and right, my popularity among my co-workers in the back has decreased severely. It's become what you might call "an unsafe working environment." Not that wrestling ever should be, but there's no telling what jealousy might drive my competitors to do. That's why it was important for me to find someone who could watch my back. And find someone I have.

    The fans are silent.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    But I'm not here to show everyone my cards while the game is still being played. I'm here to save you from the mediocrity of Adrenaline Rush without Steve Osborn. And I'm not just here to save the fans, though they might deserve it more than anyone else for having to endure Roberto as their champion for as long as they have. I'm also here to save the the wrestlers. For too long they've been content, their performances less than 100% and them having no impetus for change, they can't be blamed. But seeing a performer like Steve Osborn has helped the CWA roster to aspire to something greater. The episodes airing with Steve Osborn attached are growing increasingly better than the episodes that have aired without Steve Osborn. I think I've noticed a trend.

    Osborn laughs at the boos but gets splashed by a bit of soda and the styrofoam cup that contained it. He turns around.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You're not grateful yet - but you will be. My every action is for your benefit and when you realize this to be true you will beg for my forgiveness. And you will be forgiven. But first you have to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being content and failing to thrive for more. Forgive yourself for enduring mediocrity when you deserve better. And forgive yourself for ignoring the call - until now. Now, salvation beckons and calls your name. I stand before you as your savior, your guiding light. Will you follow me to greatness or revel in the darkness within which you feel safe, secure, and unimportant?

    The crowd grows silent once more.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    This isn't a casting call of sorts. I'm looking for soldiers to help change the tides of war but while everyone can be saved, not everyone has what it takes to be a savior. Those who wish to be considered may make their intentions known but my selection process is rigorous and mediocrity is not tolerated. If you're not with the Natural, you're a nobody. And if you waste my time, you'll be wasted outright. Stay tuned.

    Osborn drops the microphone in the ring. There are some boos among the quiet crowd as "The Natural" walks to the back without looking at the audience.

  14. #14
    Cult of Personality
    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Steve Ryan

    Quote Originally Posted by God
    We open the scene in a clothing store where Toxic Rain is quickly moving through the aisle’s hardly even looking at what is on display, struggling to keep up with her is Steve Ryan due to the face that he has about 300 shopping bags to carry.

    Steve Ryan:
    Will you slow down?

    Toxic Rain:
    Can’t, we’re running late.

    Steve Ryan:
    If we are late why did you insist on stopping at every store along the way?

    Toxic Rain:
    How often are we going to be in Australia? I have to take full advantage of it.

    Steve Ryan:
    Well can you at least carry a couple of the bags? After all, everything here is for you.

    Toxic Rain:
    You’re cute when you try to be funny.

    Steve Ryan:
    I was serious actually. What are we even looking for? You must have bought every item of clothing imaginable by now.

    Toxic Rain:
    It’s for you so quit complaining.

    Steve Ryan:
    I have plenty of clothes at home.

    Toxic Rain:
    While that may be true, you don’t have wrestling attire hence why we are here.

    Steve Ryan:
    I have got wrestling attire!

    Toxic Rain:
    No you don’t, it was ugly so I threw it away.

    Steve Ryan:
    I’ve had that since I started wrestling.

    Toxic Rain:
    Did you start in 1930?

    Steve Ryan:
    Not funny.

    Toxic Rain:
    I was being serious, it looks that old.

    Steve Ryan:
    Well it’s not.

    Toxic Rain:
    Ahh, here we are!

    Finally, Toxic Rain slows down and heads towards one particular clothing rack. She quickly browses through them before bringing out a pair of wrestling tights. Pink wrestling tights.

    Steve Ryan:
    I thought this was for me?

    Toxic Rain:
    It is.

    Steve Ryan:
    I am not wearing pink!

    Toxic Rain:
    Why? What’s wrong with it? Pink is awesome.

    Steve Ryan:
    It looks like something Roberto would wear.

    Toxic Rain:
    So the World Champion can wear it, but you cant? Are you trying to say you’re better than our champion?

    Steve Ryan:
    I really doubt he is champion because of what kind of ring attire he wears.

    Toxic Rain:
    Okay I’m getting tired of fighting you on this so I’m going to level with you. Guardian Devil needed a lot of convincing to put you in this match, he finally agreed under one condition.

    Steve Ryan:
    I wore pink?

    Toxic Rain:
    You got a complete makeover, from ring attire to hair style to gimmick.

    Steve Ryan:
    What’s wrong with my hair?!?

    Toxic Rain:
    Ever hear of a hair brush?

    Steve Ryan:
    And my gimmick?

    Toxic Rain:
    Your gimmick was the big one.

    Steve Ryan:
    And why was it the big one?

    Toxic Rain:
    Really? You don’t have one. You just showed up here and yeah, you don’t have a gimmick of any sorts. We have to work on that, but first, it’s ring attire.

    Steve Ryan:
    Again, I’m not wearing pink, everyone will laugh at me.

    Toxic Rain:
    Listen, you’re new to wrestling, I get that, but your old black tights, well they sucked. You need something to help you stand out from the crowd so that even if you don’t win, people will remember you.

    Steve Ryan:
    I’m sure a solid in ring performance would do that.

    Toxic Rain:
    You’re so naïve. Just trust me, put down the bags and try them on and if you can, do it quickly, we’re still running late.

    Steve Ryan:
    There are six guys in this match, Steve Osborn aside, I don’t think any of them are anything special. Dan Powers has just run his mouth a lot since coming here. He hasn’t impressed me in the least. CJ Franchise, could be good in the future but again he hasn’t done a lot. Kennif leBlanch is a joke pure and simple, he may be popular but he hasn’t shown much in the ring to get me worried. The Problem Solver meanwhile seems to have anger issues so I’d count on him doing something dumb and getting disqualified in the match. Steve Osborn is the only one I’m worried about. I’m confidant I can put in a good performance even if I don’t win.

    Toxic Rain:
    Just do exactly as I tell you to do and this time next week, we’ll be training for a CWA X-Fly Championship match. Steve Osborn isn’t all he’s made out to be. He’s good at politicking his way up the card, but I’m better.

    Steve Ryan:
    Whatever you are thinking no! I don’t want to do it that way. I want to do this the right way. Changing my look and my gimmick to get me a push? Are you serious?

    Toxic Rain:
    Do you not want to be a champion?

    Steve Ryan:
    Yes, but I also want to earn it.

    Toxic Rain:
    And you will, by keeping me happy. I’m putting a lot of time and effort into you, the least you could do is quit complaining, and do what needs to be done.

    Steve Ryan:
    I want the record to show that I protested this.

    Toxic Rain:
    Of course you did. Now try them on before I have to cancel your hair appointment.

    Steve Ryan drops all the bags and takes the pink tights on offer before reluctantly heading for the changing rooms to try out his new attire. Toxic Rain continues to browse the clothing near by and soon picks out a sparkly pink top that Miley Cyrus wouldn’t be caught dead in.

  15. #15
    Cult of Personality
    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    The Natural Steve Osborn

    Quote Originally Posted by The Natural
    For some reason the camera is focused on the doors of an old church. They burst open and an old priest is beating at Steve Osborn with his cane while Osborn backpedals quickly.

    [ PRIEST ]
    And don't you ever come back!

    The Natural gives the priest the finger and then storms through the grass to the curb as cameras catch up to him.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You're probably wondering what that was about. I don't blame you. These pricks...

    Osborn turns around and gives the finger with both hands before continuing forward through the parking lot.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    They think they're the be-all, end-all of salvation, but there is more than one way to save a life.

    Osborn's tense demeanor vanishes for a moment when he laughs.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I told the priest they should consider replacing that outdated book in there with The Natural written by Steve Osborn but he didn't take very kindly to that. Which is unfortunate - because my efficiency, my effectiveness, my doctrine of pain should be a valuable compass with which lost souls can find their way. Instead, they're pushing leather-bound fiction and preaching through words.

    Osborn gets serious again.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Sticks and stones break bones, words don't hurt anyone. That's why the Submission Coalition is the most effective means of salvation. Actions always speak louder and we intend to make our intentions loud and clear. I've said before - I don't trust anyone. It's just safer that way. So I don't trust Arsen, and Arsen doesn't trust me. We keep each other on our toes and as a result, we are invincible to deception or betrayal. Naturally, we are the greatest team in not only CWA, but the entirety of the wrestling world today. Anyone who wishes to have that proven to them need only make their voice heard - we'll take care of the rest.

    The Natural peers out over the parking lot.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    So you're all they sent? No interviewer or anything?

    The camera shakes left to right.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Some might attribute that to budget cuts and the economy but the truth is there's nobody better to interview Steve Osborn than Steve Osborn. Isn't that right, Steve?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Indeed it is, Steve... now, I was going to spend my time studying the teachings of the most famous savior so far - the inimitable "Mr. Christ." But apparently they don't value education in this facility so I've been kicked to the curb. I suppose this gives me some time to answer your questions.

    Osborn turns his head from side to side as he has a conversation with himself.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    We both know the question on everyone's mind, and we both know the answer, but for the sake of the people who are desperate to know more about their favorite wrestler "The Natural" Steve Osborn, please tell us: why aren't you competing at Uprising on PPV?

    The Natural looks to the other direction and shakes his head sadly.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Well, Steve, it's clear that CWA management is afraid of the Submission Coalition.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Why do you say that?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Isn't it obvious? I was booked to appear on the new CWA TV show instead of Uprising so they could keep Arsen and I separated. They're afraid our influence will spread - scratch that, they know our influence will spread - but they hope to delay the inevitable. I won't waste my time explaining how foolish this is - if the CWA does not afford the Submission Coalition an opportunity to spread salvation together, there will be consequences. Opposing the Submission Coalition is a futile effort and avoiding the inevitable has always been a fool's errand.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    To be fair, they've given you a spot in the main event on the debut episode of CWA High Voltage and an opportunity to become the number one contender to the X-Fly Championship.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    To be fair? They did it to make money. If they want to see a rating they can be proud of on the very first episode of High Voltage, you better believe you're going to see Steve Osborn there. And you better believe I'll be making history when I win the first main event of High Voltage ever.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Confident you'll win?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You know me. Hell, you are me. So you know there's absolutely no doubt in my mind that the name Steve Osborn will be announced before and after the main event. And after I win at High Voltage, Steve Osborn is the name that's going to haunt Joey Nicholas and Logan V's thoughts. Because no matter how well either of them perform at Uprising, who looks better or who walks out with that belt, they're going to be handing it over to me soon enough. It is inevitable.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You face five opponents in your next match... is this an opportunity for recruitment into the ranks of the Submission Coalition?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Are you asking if there's room in the Submission Coalition for more? Of course there is. Does anyone facing yours truly in the main event at High Voltage have what it takes to be a member? I doubt it very highly. I don't see potential candidates for spreading salvation in my match - I see the opportunity to save five individuals. Only through submission will they cleanse themselves and only after they are clean could they be considered for membership within the Coalition. So yes, after High Voltage, there will be five more potential candidates. It's anyone's guess who will preach salvation next - but those five men are certainly the next to be saved.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    When you put it that way, it almost seems unfair that you've been put into a match with five opponents.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    I know. For a fair fight you would expect ten or more, right? (laughs) I've already proven myself in a bout with three other opponents in my debut for CWA and I have yet to lose a televised match. I've had a win over the CWA Champion Roberto and I intend to win the number one contendership to the X-Fly title with little trouble, if any, at all. What "competition" is there? A misguided metrosexual like Dan Powers, who spends more time in front of a mirror than he does in a wrestling ring? He might have 'the look,' but unfortunately 'the look' isn't enough these days. And then there are wrestlers like CJ Franchise or Steve Ryan who might have strategy and philosophy locked down but they can't stand toe to toe with someone like Steve Osborn. I was born a perfect specimen and I have carefully crafted this body into the lean, mean f**king machine you see today.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Keeping the censors on their toes, Mr. Osborn!

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Oh yeah, sorry about that, but Steve Osborn doesn't f**king censor himself, either. Steve Osborn doesn't pull any f**king punches. That's why on the first episode of High Voltage I hope that none of my "competitors" - still sounds a little funny using that word - decide to hold back. I want everyone performing at their peak to put on a great main event and I'm confident that simply being in the ring with Steve Osborn will bring out the best in everyone. There are superkicks and shooting stars, cloverleafs and go-to-sleep's to go around but nothing can compare to the Natural Selection. Everybody taps. I have five adversaries that night and that means five examples to be made. There's a certain criteria to qualify for the X-Fly Championship: You have to be smart, you have to be strong, you have to be tough, you have to have the right stuff - you have to be the Natural. Otherwise, you're a nobody. The headline for the main event might as well read: Steve Osborn vs. Nobody, because in my eyes, in the fans' eyes, and in the eyes of 'the Lord,' that's what we're going to see.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    You're truly one of the most stunning performers ever to enter the CWA ring. Without having competed against any of the performers you're scheduled to face on High Voltage, how can you be so sure the victory will be yours?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Modesty leaves a bad taste in my mouth so I avoid it when I can. There's a reason I'm considered the best newcomer to CWA among the fans - they may not like me but they know I'm the best possible option; for a main event, for the X-Fly Championship, for a new favorite wrestler. There's no equal when it comes to my technical prowess and I've delivered on my promises to improve CWA with leadership by example. The fans TRUST ME, regardless of whether or not they want to. As the saying goes, "you gotta see it to believe it."

    Osborn smiles fiendishly.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Well, they have witnessed me, they have experienced me, and they have given me their trust. In exchange for their trust, I offer salvation. I have saved the CWA product from growing stale, I have saved quality wrestling from a lack of televised representation, and I am on my way to saving the X-Fly Championship from wasting away on waists that don't deserve any gold around them.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Honestly, Stevo, I'm surprised that CWA management is even allowing you to get near the X-Fly Championship. I'd be worried that your participation will cause the X-Fly division to overshadow the World title picture.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    If the World title picture were solely dependent on Roberto to hold it up I'm sure it would have drowned in obscurity long ago but luckily there are much more capable performers getting ready to take the gold away.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Might this be a reference to your new partner-in-crime, Nick Arsen?

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    It might be. I guess when I refer to performers much more capable than Roberto I'm being unintentionally vague. It's no secret he and I don't see eye to eye, but it's hard to see eye to eye when you're not on the same level. I look down to Roberto - I certainly did after Arsen and I teamed to humiliate the Shining Rainbows and I will again the next time I'm within proximity of the man who's about to be a former World Champion. Roberto, don't think I won't be watching your match with Nick very closely. It's the only contest that's going to be holding my interest more than Logan V against Joey Nicholas, and I'll only be watching that so I can apologize in advance to he whose gold I will be next in line to take. The Submission Coalition's reign has yet to really begin and already it's the major talking point of this organization. We are your entertainment, we are your conversation, we are your salvation. We are the Submission Coalition - and you have the choice to change. Remember, you must submit to be saved.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Thank you very much Steve Osborn, future X-Fly Champion.

    [ STEVE OSBORN ]
    Trust me, the pleasure was all mine. (to camera guy) And next time, tell them to send someone to interview me. Preferably a redhead. (looks into camera) And to my opponents and fans alike - remember, while the building behind me and the cross it bears might represent salvation to some - true salvation will be waiting for my opponents in Sydney, Australia and the crossface they will bear - the Natural Selection - this is your chance to be Osborn-again.

    The camera fades out with Osborn smiling sadistically.

  16. #16
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    CJ Franchise


    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Franchise
    The scene opens up on a plane over the sea and high in the bright blue skies heading from New York airport to Sydney Australia. On the plane is one of the newest acquisitions of Clique Wrestling Alliance the Franchise, C.J Franchise. He is with his personal trainer and old friend Joe Dumars as they sit in first class. Joe looks around the plane like a little kid in amazement.


    Franchise: Joe you never been on a plane before man? You look like a glassy eyed female that just saw a new Prada bag that they want.

    Joe: Ha-ha very funny, of course I have been on a plane before just never in first class this is very nice. I did not know you enjoyed a luxurious life like this.

    Franchise: Luxurious? Well I guess to some but as a young entrepreneur this is the type of life that we get to live. With the hard life I had growing up I think I deserve everything I treat myself to.

    Joe: Well very true but why are we going all the way to Sydney? Kind of far from home base is it not?

    Franchise: Well now that I am in global wrestling company I won’t just be wrestling the states anymore. This is not those little gym leagues I use to be in. This is the big time and I have a big time match coming up. For me to establish my greatness I have to wrestle all over the world not just in New York.

    Joe: Really? You never told me what happen in that match against that assassin guy? His name was Yoshi….

    Franchise: It does not matter what that loser name is. His career has ended in CWA after I defeated him decisively. He was just a stepping stone for me to establish my Franchise in this company. I need to differentiate myself from everyone else in this locker room especially that Stone guy who calls himself the Franchise as well. I want them to realize I am the real deal and I have my chance…

    A waitress comes up to them ask them if they want something to drink.

    Joe: Yea I will take some whiskey…

    Franchisesighs) Joe they don’t sell that stuff on a plane. You should not be drinking that crap anyway…

    Joe: Just because you live a clean cut, straight edge life style does not mean we all have to give up the joys in life.

    Franchise: Whatever Joe keep drinking your life away anyway Ms. We will take two ice cold ice teas.

    The waitress walks away with a nervous face to get their drinks. A few hours pass by and they finally land in Sydney, Australia. As CJ and Joe depart from the plane and begin to look for a taxi a bunch of people of mixed races and gender walk up them. They look to be drunk as they try to touch CJ but he moves away.

    Random Person #1: You realize you have no chance in your match right? Dan Power is daa man and he is going eliminated you in two seconds….

    Random Person #2: Yea the Natural Steve Osborn is the best. He will teach you in the ring lesson you never could learn in school.

    Random Person #3: Yea you’re nobody just like the two nobodies you defeated so far. You think you are so great because the fans were cheering you on. Calling yourself the Franchise when you know Rich Stone the true Franchise player….

    FranchiseSighs) Ok that is enough! I am tired of you low life drunks insulting me. First of all I have no idea why those hypocritical fans were cheering me on because I do not care for them at all. They just go for whoever they think is the coolest looking; well than again I do look awesome so that is why they cheered for me. You lower class punks need to go look at your lives. You who think Dan Powers going to eliminate me in two seconds you look like a insecure nerd that looks up to his lame stature because you wish he was you. O yea you Ms. on Steve Osborn jock strap you look like one of those girls that cough up their food because they think their fat when you way less than ninety pounds. How is that for some wisdom? So go gain about ten pounds before you come at the real Franchise. So now all of you go fix your pitiful lives and maybe you can hope to make 5 percent of my income and that is even a stretch.

    The three people stand there in shock and the girl eventually starts crying and runs off. CJ laughs as he walks away. Him and Joe get into a taxi and heads to a hotel where many of the CWA Superstars are staying for this two day event. As they enter the hotel many of the wrestlers are signing in and people are standing and watching in amazement and excitement.

    Joe: Looks like you guys have fans here…

    Franchise: Yea seems so this looks like this could be very exciting just try not to drool over the marble floor. I know you been in that broken down gym top long, I got to start taking you places more.

    As Franchise and Joe gets his bags taken to their rooms. They are bummed rushed by Timothy Coleman and a camera man. Joe looks to be excited to be on camera and Franchise gives a heavy sigh.

    Franchise: So where they found you from? It like every week there is a new interviewer in my face asking me dumb questions.

    Coleman: Well I am the head interviewer for High Voltage and you are in the first main event of this debuting show. Me and the fans of CWA want to know what are your thoughts on this opportunity that you have?

    Franchise: Well I could careless what the fans could think honestly but since we are on air I will tell you. I believe it is a great opportunity to show my talents and literally move up the rankings here in CWA. I am going into this match with some establish wrestlers like Kennif leBlanch and rising ones like Steve Osborn. So I am going to be on my top performance in this match because this is my opportunity to impress.

    Coleman: I see and I personally don’t care what the fans think either but they had to vote who they thought was the best new comer in CWA and you were on the ballet. However you did not receive any votes and Steve Osborn won how do you feel about that?

    Franchise: I honestly don’t care most of these fans are not even worthy to be a live in my opinion. Living the dirty, hypocritical lives they do. I live pure and straight edge and I am better than all of them anyway. I will rise and this company and everyone in the back will fall soon enough.

    Coleman: Well you have a chance to defiantly rise in the rankings with this X-Fly rankings match where the winner becomes number one contender. Any thoughts on your opponents in this match?

    Franchise: My opponents….. hmmm lets start off with Dan Powers the self proclaimed “Sex God”. This guy just another egotistical, self absorbed, big for nothing, insecure douche bag who thinks because he gets women that look like Lindsay Lohan cocaine looking ass to have threesome he is the man. Well I have news for you Mr.Powers you are just another generic rock star wannabe who will fail at life because you are to into yourself. I am better than you and that is a fact. Now onto the Problem Solver….who the hell name is the Problem Solver? This guy more generic than Dan Powers! He has zero charisma, he speaks like a robot and he is just s big guy who think he will throw people around. Well you better hope Nero James underdog mentality seeps into your head because that what you are this match a underdog. Just expect to not beg getting a shot at any title anytime soon as long as I am around.

    Franchise: Onto Steve Ryan who has never had a match before in this company. A total new comer like I was a short few weeks ago. Would it not be great for a new comer come into this match and win it?

    Coleman: I guess…

    Franchise: Well it is not happening! I am the man to beat in this match even though people except Osborn to win.

    Coleman: Well I wanted to ask you about him…

    Franchise: I will get to him soon enough. Kennif leBlanch I called you an establish star not knowing that you were a retarded geek pretending to be someone else. Jesus what was CWA thinking signing this guy. I like video games as much as the next guy but that’s all this guy does. Does even take baths? I don’t want to be the one to cover him for the elimination. He is just a waste of space on the roster and defiantly a waste of space in this match. He has a better chance of graduating college than he has of eliminating The Franchise in this match.

    Coleman: Ok only one man left and that is the Natural Steve Osborn. A man that has aligned himself with Nickolas Kennedy Arsen and has really started to establish himself as a force here in this company by stepping up when needed. Do you see him as your biggest threat?

    Franchise: To be honest I do see him as the biggest threat in this match. Why? Because he reminds me a lot of myself just more with a ego larger than the wall of China. He believes he is prototype for how a wrestler should be. I believe he is lying to himself as when he says he only doing this for competition. He wants to be named the best as I do and he will do anything to get it. Well I have the same mentality and I don’t intending on failing. He has had some victories so far and a big one defeating the Champ and his sidekick in a tag team match. So he has momentum but this going to be my moment and it is time for someone to teach him a thing or two in that ring. He claims to make everyone better in the ring when he wrestlers well if I get any better from this match than no one will ever to be able defeat me. So Osborn as usual give 100 percent but know that I am going to be giving 110 percent and this match is mine.

    Coleman: Ok so any final words?

    Franchise: This match is to decide who the cream of the crop is and put the lames at the bottom of the ladder. Well I attend to climb this ladder and let everyone know there are no ceilings for my potential. I am about to establish why I believe I am the Franchise Player here and the rest are just workers. Logan V or Joey Nickolas which ever wins, be ready because to face the man that will be taking this company by storm.


    CJ and Joe walk away toward the elevator as Coleman continues to speak into the camera.

  17. #17
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Don deVries

    Quote Originally Posted by johnnybiggs
    In the arena backlot, Don de Vries loosens up for his match by kicking a rugby ball back and forth with one of the roadies. As he catches it, Orlando Maxwell approaches him for an interview.

    Orlando: Don, with Uprising about to begin, we still have no real info on the whereabouts of Anna Williams.

    Don punts the ball away

    Don: Ah yes- Anna Williams. She’s almost ready to return, we just need to get one little thing cleared away. You see, in me Anna’s found something she could never get from an “underdog”. Someone to do it real good, do it like nobody else can- I rock her, roll her all night long, I’m a sixty minute man! But she’s kind of worried about how things may end up around here, with Nero still hanging around and all. So tonight, in that very ring, I’m going to set him up with a very special kind of retirement package.

    Orlando: Which kind would that be?

    Don: The mandatory kind.

    Orlando: So you’re really certain of a decisive victory then?

    Don: Certain? Have you had a look at Nero lately? I’m surprised Angelina Jolie hasn’t tried to adopt his bony ass! When I get out there, oh baby: I’m the brawn and the brain, the sugar and the spice; I’ll mess Nero up bad, but do it ever so nice!

    Orlando: If I may ask, what’s with the jive talking, have you been studying under Dusty Rhodes?

    Don: Pshhhh, Dusty wishes he were me. But anyway, this being Black History month, I’m doing a tribute to the most prominent African American poet.

    Orlando: You mean Maya Angelou?

    Don: Hell no, I’m talking about Rudy Ray Moore.

    Orlando: Who?

    Don: You know, “Dolemite, mothafu-”

    Orlando: Oh, right. Well, good luck in your match tonight.

    Orlando turns to walk away; off-camera, we hear Don:

    Don: Hey, Orlando!

    Orlando turns around/

    Don: Catch!

    Don punts the rugby ball right into Orlando, knocking him to one knee. Don begins laughing hysterically, as Orlando shuffles away.

  18. #18
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    Re: Old Promos

    Jerome Matthews & Damien Kahn

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomas
    We open up to a dimly lit room of what one can assume to be a vacated building. There is various old and battered furniture along with Christian relics strewn about the ruins, the depleted walls are covered with enough newspaper articles that it might as well be its wallpaper. As the camera circles the room it pauses and focuses in on a monk-like figure dressed in all white, sitting in the middle of the room and staring at the floor illuminated by a dozen candles encircling him. The identity of the man is obscured from the hood currently covering his face but his voice can clearly be heard.

    Man: While I presided over the catholic clergy at the St. Thomas Catholic church in Toronto, I was forced to bare witness the complete and utter desecration of the human soul day in and day out for nearly twenty years! The sins that are conducted in everyone’s daily rituals have quickly and effectively eaten away at this soulless society that has been brought fourth like a famished plague and it has enraged me so deeply that the guidelines I would set for all the beggars and crack addicts would go onto be unheard and the victims that would seemingly be reborn would wind up right back on the church’s doorstep within that same month!

    The man’s breath can be seen with each word now as the wind causes the curtains to gently sway for a moment

    Man: When I finally decided it was time to take extreme measures to draw attention to the wicked ways of today’s society and their distasteful vices, the Catholic hierarchy felt it in the best of their interest to remove me from the clergy foolishly believing that I was the problem in that ever so fraudulent monastery. Since that time, I have dedicated my entire existence in my crusade to sway those who sin towards a life virtue by any and all means necessary. Consequently, this journey has led me to the most vile cesspool that is the CWA. My journey to cleanse the sinners throughout that corrupt organization will consist of, punishing the immoral, subduing the unrighteous, and finally cleansing them of their past indulgences. But I cannot and will not do this single handily. I aim to find a being in Sydney, Australia to follow my ways in making every single individual in the CWA accountable for their actions!

    The man pauses as a rat scurries across the floorboard in search of food. The man takes a slice of bread from his pouch and tears off a sliver and lays it next to his feet. The rodent cautiously scans the area around the crumb before taking it in it’s claws and darting back into a crack in the wall

    Man: Just like I’ve done for that rat there I shall do unto the entity I choose to join me, I will forgive you for your disgusting habits whatever they be and I will give you my helping hand in purifying you. I guarantee that the gratification that will come with punishing everyone in our wake shall be endless. This is my one and only forewarning to you all within the CWA: Your Day of Reckoning shall come soon enough and may God have mercy on all your wretched souls!

    With that he jerks his head upright causing the hood to slide off of his head, revealing himself to be none other than Father Jerome Matthews! As he stares momentarily into the camera lenses with a treacherous scowl, the wind suddenly kicks up and blows out the candles that acted as light for the room blacking out the camera.

  19. #19
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    Re: Old Promos

    The Natural Steve Osborn

    Quote Originally Posted by The Natural
    Steve Osborn: Before my victims make their way to the ring, there are a few things I wanted to address.

    Osborn is met with some boos.

    Steve Osborn: Let's get the least important part out of the way first with Roberto, the CWA Champion... until tomorrow.

    Fans disagree loudly.

    Steve Osborn: What do you care? You know that piece of gold is nothing more to Roberto than an accessory to his earrings.

    Osborn laughs.

    Steve Osborn: To Nickolas Kennedy Arsen and I - it's a beacon. A beacon of hope for those who seek it. The promise of a second chance to any who see it. The glimmer coming off that gold will be the guiding light for salvation in this tired and tumultuous company.

    Osborn points toward the entrance ramp.

    Steve Osborn: I would love to tell you that back there, behind those curtains: there's a lot of talent. But I don't want to lie to you. Beyond those curtains, beyond the portal that separates the performers from the show - there's POTENTIAL and nothing more.

    The crowd disagrees, but the boos only seem to strengthen Osborn like the sun regarding Superman.

    Steve Osborn: Which brings me to the second thing I wanted to address, my latest project, the Submission Coalition. You see, I'm a firm believer in the motto, "lead by example" and tonight I intend to do just that. Nobody I'm facing tonight is ready or prepared for the toughtest match in their career against the greatest wrestler they've ever faced - so tonight, I'll be making an example out of them all. I'll be showing all of you fans as well as the other wrestlers backstage what happens when you cross the Submission Coalition. It's an elimination match and that means you'll probably be seeing more than three taps before the night is through. Each time you see someone tap out, however, you need to remember this: Tapping is weakness. Tapping is failure. Tapping is admitting defeat. But tapping can be more than that. Tapping can be the first step, it can be the beginning, it can be a second chance.

    The crowd grows silent as Osborn enters an almost euphoric state.

    Steve Osborn: Submission is only humiliation when you allow it to be. Mistakes are only negative when you fail to learn from them. And tonight, I intend to teach everyone a lesson they will never forget: you can't hope to beat me, you can only hope to learn from me. I'm the best you've ever seen and it doesn't matter how quickly you recognize it - you'll all come around soon enough.

    Fans start to chant 'Roberto.'

    Steve Osborn: Roberto! Roberto! Roberto! ...As much as I'd looooooove to knock the daylights out of him, in front of all of you - he ain't here. If he's smart, he's spending every second getting ready for his match tomorrow night against one half of the Submission Coalition. Unfortunately, it won't be enough.

    The chants stop but the booing gets louder.

    Steve Osborn: I saw the online polling - it seems people are split 50/50 on the outcome of their match at Uprising for the World Heavyweight Championship. Half of them wrongly assume Roberto is going to leave with the belt intact.

    Fans cheer the mention of Roberto winning.

    Steve Osborn: The other half know very well it's Nick Arsen's night to shine.

    Immediately, cheers turn into boos.

    Steve Osborn: You know, it's funny. I didn't see an online polling asking fans who they thought would win my match tonight. In the interest of fairness, I think we ought to see what the fans think. The third thing I want to address is the poll for who's going to win the X-Fly #1 Contendership tonight!

    Steve Osborn closes his eyes and tilts his head backward, holding the microphone high into the air, pointing it down toward his mouth.

    Steve Osborn: The always impressive Steve Osborn has been plowing through his competition within CWA the past few weeks but tonight, on the very first episode of High Voltage, his skills will be put to the ultimate test in an X-Fly rankings match with five other competitors.

    "The Natural" waves five fingers with his free hand, eyes still closed, mouth tilted toward the sky.

    Steve Osborn: Despite his earnest efforts to teach the CWA roster the futility in fighting the inevitable, still, there are those who seek to prove themselves against Osborn and stop him from obtaining championship gold.

    Osborn slowly lowers his head and then opens his eyes. He looks around at the CWA fans in attendance.

    Steve Osborn: Do you believe "The Natural" Steve Osborn will be the next #1 Contender to the X-Fly Championship?

    A deafening chorus of boos fills the arena. Osborn looks impressed with their volume.

    Steve Osborn: Or do you think any one of my five opponents has a chance of walking out the victor?

    Fans cheer just as loudly as they boo'd and Osborn looks irate. He points to individual fans in the crowd and tells them to "shut up" while the microphone is away from his mouth.

    Steve Osborn: Well the results are in, ladies and gentlemen, and it looks like - duh. The crowd has weighed in, the people have spoken and the next... C-W-A.. X-Fly Championship... #1 Contender will be... "THE NATURAL" STEVE OSBORN!!!

    Osborn's getting perhaps the loudest negative response this arena has ever heard. He throws his hands up in victory while he paces the ring. A ringside official spins his hands around eachother telling Osborn to wrap it up.

    Steve Osborn: Well, well, well... it turns out my opponents actually showed up. Guess nobody should miss their own funeral. For them - that means class is still in session, it's time to teach a lesson, and once more the fans who don't care about them get to witness their new favorite wrestler's hand raised in victory. For all of you - it means that every fan in attendance who paid their hard-earned money to score a seat in this arena and bare witness to my greatness will get to see the future X-Fly Champion make somebody TAP THE HELL OUT.

    Osborn spikes the mic into the middle of the ring and there's a loud boom over the speakers. He screams "if you're not the Natural, you're a nobody" but without the microphone most wouldn't hear it. He starts posing in the center of the ring before he is abruptly interrupted by.....

  20. #20
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    Sawyer


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    Re: Old Promos

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen


    Quote Originally Posted by N. Quincy Talent
    Date: February 22nd, 2010

    Time: 10:13 P.M
    Location: The Linsfield Laboratory located in Sydney, Australia

    My Human Guinea Pig

    *It is closing hours at the Linsfield laboratory. Some of the finest researchers in the field of social sciences are seen in different camera shots all over the building leaving their respected offices and research rooms. They all joke and laugh, leaving their well-established work place knowing that their intricate research is making not only their home turf of Sydney, but the world as a whole a better place. They get into their cars, with the last one out double checking the locks on the door of the facility before joining his fellow co-workers in clearing out the parking lot to head to their respected homes or meeting bars. We cut from the camera shot of the parking lot to several sections of inside the laboratory. The first room shown are a wide green house room, with lights on to keep the water and soil in effect to keep the several species of plants alive and growing. The second room shown is a bio section of the facility. The lights are out, and only outlines of frogs and bugs in jars are shown. The third and final room shown is a dark room outlined with just a table as a furniture. All of the sudden, a small overhead lamp is turned on, revealing the table in the center of the small room. On one section of the table is a small rodent cage, with what seems like a small guinea pig roaming it's boundaries of its habitat. The other section of the table has a large white sheet covering what seems like four objects determining by the outlines. Footsteps are then heard in the distance. With the rhythm of the footsteps, the lace of the guinea pigs movement increases. Then, a figure is revealed underneath the overhead lamp. In a lab coat covering a Washington Capitals jersey and a pair of board shorts, Nickolas Kennedy Arsen emerges from the shadows. His hair is a mess. His facial hair is a bit more wooly than usual. He brushes his hair out of the way of his forehead, revealing seven stitches above his right eye. With how rough he looks, he still has that wicked smile on his face. He gets in front of the rodent cage. He kneels down to get a better look at the guinea pig.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "Just like a trembled human being, an animal knows when a threat is upon its presence. You have suffered so much altering variables in your life, my friend. I can see why you are paranoid."

    *Arsen gets up from his kneeling position. He walks around the table a bit, remaining in sight. He then turns to the camera set up to the center of the room.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I was an average student in school. I never really tried to apply the brain that got gave me. This brain is filled with explorative wit and a desire to consume a daily dose of new information, no matter how relevant or random it might be. When I tried to use the skill applied to my cranium, I always found my best subjects to be the studies of English and extensive vocabulary, which you can obviously tell from the way I educate you cretins with the power of my dialogue, week in and week out. To every strength, on the other hand, comes a weakness. My weakness was the field of social sciences. I find it my weakness because I felt like I never had the desire to take any delicate part of my time to craft a working experiment. As most people know, an experiment consists of a theory, a series of examples, a test run, and a solution statement that backs up a theory."

    *Arsen looks at the rodent cage.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I never wanted to go to the lenghts of finding a result by due process. I wanted the result I was looking for, and I would go through the shortest lenghts to get it. Much to my unsatisfying impatience, it never resulted in what I was looking for, because I never did the constructed procedure needed for the satisfactory production that would have made me excel in the subject. I knew I would never apply to this field when I as thirteen."

    *Arsen sees a pair of latex gloves lying beside the cage. He slaps them on both of his hands and heads over to the cage. He opens the cage door and lures the guinea pig to the palm of his left hand. He takes the guinea pig and cradles him for safety away from the cage. Arsen gets in the center of the camera shot.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I was assigned to take care of a guinea pig, just like this one, except it was a white Siberian. This being black history month, I am certain the researchers here at the Linsfield Laboratory mean for this to be a black Guinea Pig. Anyway, I digress. The teacher told me to monitor the rodent every waking hour that it was in my possesion and record it's growth and feast records. Due to my neglect and my lack of interest interest, I shunned my assignment. The guinea pig ended up passing away on day three of the seven day trial. It was quite a tragedy."

    *Arsen pets the guinea pig before putting it back in it's cage and locking the cage door.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I thought that because of how I treated that assignment and how I cost an animal it's life, I would never purposely apply any type of experiment to any aspect of my life, and I would never have to rely on the subject of science to help me in life. However, I see the situation that I have been put in with my recent nemesis, Roberto. As you all may know, Roberto has been the metaphorical thorn in my side ever since he swooped in like an eagle and feasted upon my metaphorical guinea pig in the form of my chance to become the CWA World Heavyweight Championship. He has tried to bring my spirits down. He has tried to counter anything that I have said and any action that I have made with his snarky attitude and his disrespectful craft. The last time I was in a situation where I had to face him one on one, I was shedding my tears and my misery to the public. I was crying to the world because Roberto was kicking a man while he was emotional down. And I see the fans give this shawdowed animal their undying support. It was the same support those miserable sinners were giving me when I was at my worst. Whether they appreciate it or not, I hate and disrespect each and every fan. Every fan that buys a ticket. Every fan that buys a Roberto t-shirt. Even fans that buy my t-shirts. I'm here to complete my mission. My mission is to be the CWA World Champion. When Roberto unrightfully got the victory at Five Star Attraction, his rainbows an the critics continued to rub salt in my wounds, trying to tell me I am too soft to get the job done."

    *Arsen rubs his out-of-control beard. He turns his attention towards the sheet covered table.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I couldn't help but to put some of the guilt on myself, but that is something that I have been doing since I arrived here. I have been overwhelming myself to the point where I can not get my mission completed. It brings me back to those science experiments that I was ignorant towards when I was a kid. I didn't have a trial by error process I could rebound from. I didn't have a plan outlined. I just had a vision. I just had a vision with optimistic thoughts that would have gotten me anywhere. So, unbeknownst to myself, I would have to recall the little I took from my science courses. The only way I could triumph was by conducting my own experiment. This experiment would give me the ultimate result that I have been want ever since I joined the Clique Wrestling Alliance. The result is in the form of the World Championship. Just like every experiment, it needed a theory statement to base my conduction and my solution off of, and my theory is that Roberto is no different from any other being, and that I will beat him for the World Championship at Uprising."

    *Arsen grabs the sheet and yanks it off the table. Revealed on the table are four objects with a lamentaded letter in front of each object respectively. Arsen walks in front of the object labeled 'A'. It seems to be a plaque.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "Every experiment also needs a series of variables that help produce the desired result. Before you, I have four established variables that will help prove my theory. We start with exhibit A. After I lost to Roberto, I was told to enter the Royal Rumble as the final entrant. I shook this information that was handed to me out of my mind because I was frustrated that I would not walk out if the biggest stage of wrestling as the World Champion. Realizing that my thinking was what cost me the World Chanpionship, I had to use the opportunity given. I went out there as a refocused Agent of Change, and I destroyed everyone in my way to win the Royal Rumble. With this victory, my expirement was in affect. I won this plaque, as well as my chance to strike redemption at Roberto."

    *Arsen turns to get exhibit B into the shot, which turns out to be the AMLL World Championship. The Championship, strange enough, has a dab of blood on the plate.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "When I began to clear my head and get focused on a potential rematch with Roberto, I told him things that would devastate another man. I told him that I could make him evil. I told him I could triumph over not only him, but every man. He thought that he was dealing with doubtful and unsure Nickolas Kennedy Arsen, which was the one he encountered at Five Star Attraction. I'm sure when he saw me when exhibit B, which happens to be the AMLL World Championship. I beat not one, but two men to win this championship. I also did something I said I was going to do, and with that, I established myself as the threat I meant to be when I entered this company."

    *Arsen turns his attention to a video camera, which happens to be exhibit C.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I knew I couldn't stop there, Roberto. I knew I had to get the point across of me being the biggest challenge in your life across. I had to keep my word. I wasn't going to let my guard down. Thanks to this camera, which so happens to by exhibit C, I found the way to do it. Not only did I scare your family, not only did I scare the audience, I scared you. I saw you, Roberto. You were frightened beyond my imagination. I have never seen such an emotion strike your face. It only adds to my theory. It only made me happier."

    *Arsen gets up to exhibit D. He picks it up. It happened to be a chair splattered with blood covering the dents and stratches.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I like to think that this is all I needed, though. This is more than just a piece of furniture. This is more than just a weapon. This was a key to my salvation. This is what brought Ralph McCoy the punishment he deserved for a prolonged amount of time. This is what actually put some sense into Uncle Sal, who only came to CWA to be a senile old man with crazy theories and false accusations of me attacking Roberto in July 2009. Now, he is gone. The exhuberant feeling I got from putting your family blood out of their misery was the best feeling I have ever experienced. It's not the adrenaline rush I got from hurting another human physically. It is the rush I got from hurting Roberto emotionally."

    *Arsen puts the chair down. He puts the main focus on the stitches on his forum and laughs.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I am positive that you thought doing what I did to your family and friends was what you were going to do to me. An eye for an eye. And you did it Roberto. You put the remenisence of what I inflicted on your love ones to how you would get our revenge on me. You annihilated me with that same chair, Roberto. Oddly enough, everyone knows that the real victory came to my benefit. After you did what you did to me, you felt guilty. You proved to be no role model or no class act that the people portrayed you as. After questioning me, and after calling me evil, what you to me in Eastport only classifies you as a hypocrite."

    *Arsen grabs his championship. He takes off his lab coat and throws it on the ground. He wraps his championship around his waist. He then grabs his plaque.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "Just like every experiment, there are always radicals. None of these radicals did any harm to my overall experiment. They only crumbled the foundation of Roberto more. Steve Osborn was the prime radical. Someone I connected with that at first had false hopes and no organization, much like myself as a kid. Steve learns quick. Quicker than I ever could. Without him, I couldn't help orchistrate the final components of this experiment. Although this also benefits me, the weirder assurance I got was from the radical in this masked man. I don't know what this man has to do with Roberto, and I have no affiliation with him, but bless his appearance. It only made Roberto look more like fool. He had the idea that I attacked him. He couldn't have been more incorrect. Doubtful, he should now become. Just like I was when we first met."

    *Arsen puts the sheet over the table again, covering the chair and the camera. He then heads over to the rodent cage once more.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "How does it feel to be the one puzzled? How does it feel to be the one confused? Because I know how you should feel right now. You are down. You have gone soft. You have just a little hit of fight left in you. If I were you, I would save it for the final part of my experiment. That is when the two of us meet one more time, this Wednesday at Uprising. If you think you are going to pull on out like you did in New York City, you better think again. Because I want you to look me in the eyes, and I want you to realize that your time as being the savior in the company is over. You are no longer the flavor everyone wants to consume. I also want to to realize that you are looking into the eyes that the man that will help you come to this conclusion. The man that will take the things away from you that you took from me. I will be the man that will happily put you out of your misery, much like I did to the people you love."

    *Arsen gets the guinea pig out of the cage once more.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "You should be proud to succumb to this. Because you were my human guinea pig, Roberto. Thanks to you, I will once again be addressed as this oracle of truth that I have made myself out to be. I will for once comets my first science expeirment in my lifetime. And thanks to your downfall, I will finally complete my mission."

    *Arsen turns off the overhead lamp. He begins to walk out of the darkness.*

    Nickolas Kennedy Arsen
    "I will do this when I save you, and make you SING.......for Absolution. And become the center function of this decaying promotion. One tap at a time."

    *With those words the promo comes to an end.*

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