These are some of the promos that are still in my inbox. I was just gonna delete them, but I decided to post them here for you all to enjoy.
Originally Posted by Dan Powers*Dan Powers interview*
Interview: Dan Powers the whole worlds talking about your debut last week, how do you react to several questions poised your way?
Powers: I can honestly say whatever your name is, I've never taken interest in what little fat geeks on the internet have ever said. So go ahead, surprise me, what questions have been poised my way?
Interview: Well first of all you slapped a fan, why did you do that?
Powers: Well fatty, I made it very clear last week, I couldn't care less about exactly what you fans think, and I sure as hell wanted to send the message of that being the case. You see that fan seemed to think his nerdy little opinion mattered, I told that fan exactly what I thought and what's funny is the little brat didn't stay around for much longer after that, he probably went home and cried to his mummy and tugged the old worm over the picture of the popular girl in his class's Facebook, you see Fatso I get that popular girl, I was getting her throughout high school and I'm still getting them today.
Interview: How do you feel about finishing off your opponent in just under 5 minutes?
Powers: Pissed off! I should've finished the overgrown bastard in 2 minutes, you call that guy a wrestler? You serious? That guy is pathetic, the fans felt sorry for the moron, hell even the Dan man felt a little sorry for him. Not sorry enough to spare him, or care random how badly I could've broken his already ugly face when I dropped him hard with that DDT, but you know, sorry like the Dan Man feels for all you uggos out there. Which in a country like America, is essentially everyone.
Interview: You seem the "Egotistical" one, don't you think?
Powers: You know what tubbo, if I honestly cared, I'd beat the crap out of you, the nerve for calling me "Egotistical" is it egotistical to care about how I look? And be proud of how I look? Is it egotistical to make sure there's no wrinkle on my face? No marks on my skin? Perfectly toned abs, perfectly proportioned, strong hard clean greyless hair? No, and when I do things like this, I deserve to walk around and remind everyone, I'm the best, I'm sexy, I'm the Pinnacle of wrestling and I'm the definition of perfection. You wish you were me Lardass and I know you do.
Interview: A lot of questions are being asked about your thoughts on the opponent you've been given tonight, Callum Fielding is your opponent tonight, how do you feel about him?
Powers: Who? Oh the English guy. Well, as a fellow member of the Commonwealth I'll give the guy credit, but I don't have time to stand here and kiss ass, the guy is nothing more than another guy the Dan Man is gonna go straight through, another winner under the Dan Mans belt and 3 more girls in the Dan Mans bed. You want me to stand here and say "Callum Fielding is a worthy opponent" well I'm not. There's nobody on this roster worthy of facing the Dan man, that's the price I pay when I'm this good.
Interview: Recently former CWA World Heavyweight champion Roberto was voted "Sexiest man alive" how does the "Sex God" react to that?
Powers: Us Canadians are never given the credit we truly deserve Fat tits. No bother, the Dan Man gets his credit in the morning when the ladies are pleading for more. My credit goes by the form of an orgasm. I know I'm twice better looking than Roberto and I know the world will soon know it, for People magazine to say he's the sexiest man alive. They clearly haven't got a look at this sexy bastard coming their way.
Interview: And finally. Any words to our fans?
Powers: Fans? You mean the fat sweaty bastards sitting out there? Yeah, lose some weight, get out more, cut a hair cut, get some new shampoo jesus christ I could be here all day. One thing I will say though is before you start getting attatched you pathetic little American slugs. I don't care about you, I have none of an inch of interest in you, I don't care whether you love me, or hate me. You don't deserve the Dan Mans time and the Dan Man doesn't have time for friends. You'll learn to hate me. You'll learn that I have no interest in you, you'll learn that your lower than the gum on my shoe. You'll learn that your nothing and you'll learn where you stand. The Dan Man see's success, sees winning matches, sees breaking necks and beating up people leads to women and women, women, is all the Dan Man cares about. Good night ladies and gents.