Daren Storm says:
As I am sure you are all well aware by now, the greatest tag team on the planet is no longer the AMLL World Tag Team Champions. Last night in Canada, AMLL sent one of their suits up to try and screw us out of the titles by making us defend them twice one after the other. Of course we won both times but the sheer disrespect that was shown by AMLL confirmed our belief that the company is only looking our for itself instead of the talent that brings in the money. AMLL screwed up big time when they tried to screw us over and as a result we have vacated the titles and made it crystal clear to them that we wont be ever stepping into an AMLL ring again. We are also not very happy with PWA as we have since found out that they knew what AMLL were planning. Just as well we’re booked up for the next few months, otherwise we’d go back and raise some hell.
We are heading over to Japan in about two hours time. We’ll then be competing for Dragon Gate over the weekend before flying back to the States for our next CWA appearance. It’s a shame Dead or Alive fell on the same day as a CWA show as we would have loved to be at both. Dead or Alive was a great event that everyone needs to check out. Looking ahead though, we have several offers to join factions in Dragon Gate but we have yet to make a decision, we will however, let the world know as soon as we decide.
Thursday May 13th
The Future def Johnson and Jackson Florida in 12:34 following a Future Shock on Jackson Florida. Following the match, the Kamikaze stable make an approach and offer a place in their ranks to the newest addition to Dragon Gate.
Saturday May 15th
The Future def Shisa BOY and Super Shenlong in 9:29 following a Frog Splash on Shisa. Much like on Thursday, The Warriors make an approach for the Future to join them.
Sunday May 16th
The Future def Yasushi Kanda and Kzy in 11:54 following a Frog Splash/Leg Drop double team on Kanda.
Monday May 17th
DG Arena, Japan
BxB Hulk and Naoki Tanisaki of World-1 def Shingo and KAGETORA of Kamikaze and Dragon Kid and Ryo Saito of Warriors in a three way dance following a run in by The Future. Following the contest, The Future are presented with World-1 shirts having made it clear where they are hanging their hats in Dragon Gate.
Because it's been on clearance for ages >,>
Daren Storm says:
Two things I want to talk about today.
Firstly, Since the guy we hired to post results seems to have lost interest, I'll bring everyone up to speed: Six more appearances, three more matches, and of course three more wins. As soon as we hit victory number ten, our contract states that we must be allowed to challenge for the number one contendership. Considering we have only lost once in the last eighteen months, and that was due to a bias official by the way, I cant see us not getting to ten before the end of the month. We only signed a three month deal and we could end that deal as champions but don’t worry, we wont hijack the titles and hold them for ransom. Remember kids, stealing is wrong, you would never see us steal anything, Los Calavera on the other hand....
Secondly, everyone has been going crazy over the news of the CWA Draft being announced. Personally, I don’t really care where we end up as it's going to the A-Show one way or another. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out we were the very first draft pick, we're just that great. We did however make sure that myself, Axl and Alexis are drafted as a group. We didn’t break any rules either as tag teams are drafted as one and Alexis holds a managers licence meaning she is included even though she is also the greatest female wrestler to ever live. Megan, Orlando, whichever of you are smart enough to draft us can rest easy knowing they have the best in the world on their show.
Adrenaline Rush comes to you from Berlin, NH tonight and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. The Elite have something very special planned that you will probably kill yourself if you miss, it's going to be that good!
Daren Storm says:
Are any of you actually surprised? We told you we would be an early pick, and low and behold, we were the second pick for Adrenaline Rush behind Joey Nicholas. Seeing as Joey is effectively in a league of his own, we’re really the number one pick since Joey was a mandatory selection if you want a successful show. CWA management have played the equality card by saying neither show is the flagship. Three picks have been made and it’s pretty obvious they were bullshitting. The future World Champion Joey Nicholas, the current Tag Team Champions the Future and the unbeaten current Women’s Champion Alexis vs. Roberto who wore his welcome out over a year ago, hence why someone put him on the shelf. Adrenaline Rush is quite clearly winning this one hands down. Megan Anderson has already shown herself as a much better mind for business, Orlando had the chance to draft us and he chose the broken down Roberto instead. Watch him continue with the has-beens as the Ultimate Pain is next out.
Daren Storm says:
It appears that Rich Stone has been beating Roberto so badly as of late, that he thinks it’s early 2009 again and he’s still relevant. Seriously, it’s beyond laughable. Rich Stone, maybe, but even Roberto knows that he a choker so doesn’t count for much in the grand scheme of things. At the end of the day, you’ll be very hard pressed to find someone who thinks Roberto would be able to survive, let alone come out victorious against any of the four Elite members who have been drafted to Adrenaline Rush. Yes, Alexis could beat his ass as well if you were wondering. Roberto, give it up old man, High Voltage is fast becoming the land of the irrelevant whereas Adrenaline Rush remains the land of the Elite.
Daren Storm says:
And as soon as I hit post, I find the third pick has been announced. The Ultimate Pain? Are you frickin kidding me?! He belongs on High Voltage with the rest of the nobodies, talk about a huge step down in quality after two brilliant picks for Adrenaline Rush.
Daren Storm says:
Now we’re back in business with yet another magnificent selection for the clearly superior Adrenaline Rush show. Nick frickin Arsen! The man who broke Roberto’s spirit and took him to the limit in a cage match despite being only 50% fit before hand. A 100% fit Arsen at the time and Adrenaline Rush would have just drafted the CWA World Champion. If the Elite open the doors for someone to join, you better believe Nick Arsen will be the man we invite into our illustrious company. It’s still a shame we got lumped with the Ultimate Pain but now, the good by far outweighs the bad once again, let's hope Megan can keep it up now.
Daren Storm says:
Another day is done and we are now half of the way done. Another five picks each tomorrow before everyone else finds out their faith on Monday. Since I have yet to comment on the last six picks, here we go starting with the very disappointing number five.
The Guardian Devil
Proof if it was ever needed that the Ultimate Pain is still one of the biggest polliticers in CWA today. Not only has he gotten himself onto the A-Show, he is now pulling strings to get his buddy on the same show, despite the fact that the twisted old pervert is in prison for the rest of his life for Sexual Assault! A waste of a pick and if he somehow ever gets out of prison, we’ll do everything in our power to send him packing, the women of CWA and Alexis in particular are not safe with this menace on the loose!
Most of the CWA Roster will have only ever seen any of the Hall family on TV. We are some of the select few who have seen what the Hall’s are truly capable of. If Nathan is anywhere near as good as the rest of his family, this is a huge win for Adrenaline Rush.
I admit, I know next to nothing about this guy but he does look the business. If he can keep his head in the game and not let MMA (Which sucks by the way) turn his head, it’s hard to see him not holding a title in the near future in CWA. What title that is, I don’t know. He definitely wont be taking our titles and unless he gets some surgery, he wont be taking Alexis’ either. I wonder if Roberto will be brave enough to show up on the number one show and defend his title against the best in the company instead of the second rate “stars” on High Voltage.
He made quite the impact upon his return on Wednesday, partially because he knocked out the X-Fly champion and partially because he was supposed to be out until the end of the year. I don’t know what his target will be on Adrenaline Rush but I do know that Don is a tough bastard and I wouldn’t want to get in his way.
Somewhat predictable wasn’t it? Ultimate Pain once again pulls the strings this time to get his hopelessly untalented brother on board. If Momma and Papa Pain had done the sensible thing and had an abortion, maybe the Brotherhood would still be together. Ultimate Pain was an annoyance and an egomaniac, but Minimal Pain was the big problem which is why we had to dump both of them back in December. Matt, do yourself a favour, and stay the hell out of our business!
Another guy that I know very little about. Apparently he is fond of Cocaine and Hookers, cant say I approve of either thing, but each to their own. I have yet to see him wrestle so I will reserve judgement until I have.
Obviously, we are not at all happy with that low down, shady and cheap tactic by The Brotherhood. But, I’ll let that slide…. for now. I am instead writing this to let you all know that in only three days time, I will be celebrating a huge and unprecedented milestone in CWA. If you were impressed by the title reign of the Ultimate Pain, you were sure to be impressed by the title reign of my team, The Future. But now, it’s time for each and every one of you to give me the respect that I more than deserve. In three days time, I will hit the 300 day mark as CWA Women’s Champion. That’s right, 300! Three-Zero-Zero. It’s okay to be speechless, it’s okay to be in awe, it’s okay to feel like you are not worthy of being in my presence… you probably aren’t anyway, and of course, it’s very much okay to be beyond impressed, no doubt everyone else is.
My next milestone is the one year mark, for those of you who are a bit slow, that’s a little under 70 days away. I’m already planning a huge celebration party for that week and yes, you are NOT invited.
Axl Storm says:
You people really shouldn’t be surprised. We told each and every one of you that we are the greatest tag team in existence and we proved it once again on Adrenaline Rush when we finally got that proverbial monkey off our backs and defeated the Brotherhood. By now, I’m sure you all know that we have quite a history with the Pain brothers and before Wednesday night, somehow we had never managed to defeat them. For those lucky fans in attendance, congratulations, you all witnessed history. But… not to be unfair to the fans for the next show, we’re going to give you a chance to witness history as well. I have already talked to my partner and we have cleared it with the very nice and accommodating Megan Anderson. Next Wednesday night in Biloxi, we will once again put our CWA World Tag Team Championships on the line, this time against anyone who is dumb enough to show up. We are going to start back on the path to break our own title defence record. We currently have two, our previous record stands at an awe inspiring seven but that was before two illegal immigrants stole our titles without actually pinning or making us submit but that is another story for another time. Biloxi, you’re going to be a part of history. It’s about time you did something of use.
Daren Storm says:
Believe me, this will not go away quietly. What happened at the end of Adrenaline Rush on Wednesday night was nothing short of highway robbery! Now, when the draft took place I for one was led to believe that you could only appear and compete on the show that drafted you. We, the CWA World Tag Team Champions representing ADRENALINE RUSH put up our titles by our own accord on ADRENALINE RUSH, and for some reason a HIGH VOLTAGE tag team took the match. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that there is something wrong with what I have just typed. Why on earth were a High Voltage tag team allowed to breech security and compete on the A-Show? Surely that is illegal and against the strict CWA rules and regulations which is why we have Miss Barnes on the case. She is currently going through the documentation and we will present our case to Megan Anderson on the next show. Jackson Sonik and Deportista, do the honourable thing and more importantly, for the first time in your lives do the right thing… give us back OUR titles before you get stripped of them for breaking the draft rules.
I feel bad for you people. I really do. A little over a year ago a certain rumour spread like wildfire throughout the wrestling world. This rumour got so big, that cwa.com kept crashing from the large amounts of traffic it was receiving. Of course, I’m talking about the ludicrous rumour of me doing Playboy. Why anyone thought I would degrade myself that much, is beyond me but that’s not why I am writing this. Instead I am writing this to share my sympathy and compassion for each and every one of you. You wanted the best in myself, but you get that skank Anna Williams instead. I rarely have nice things to say about Victoria Stone, but at least she is pretty. Anna Williams looks like a retarded dog that suffered a stroke before getting hit by a moving train. Personally, I am going to find it hilarious to read the news items that are sure to follow. I’m expecting the first to be “Anna makes sales go limp.” I don’t know anyone that has any desire to see Anna Williams, let alone see her naked. Anna in my honest and quite frankly correct opinion, no-one cares about you, they never have and flashing your lady bits wont change that.
Now, onto a much more positive note. I am getting ready to go out and have one hell of a good party for in only a few days time, I will celebrate one entire year as CWA Women’s Champion. Unlike Playboy, this actually means something and since I am in such a good mood today, I’m going to give you all a little treat before Anna Williams makes you all sick.
Girls, it’s okay to be jealous because you‘ll never be like me. Guys, it’s okay to want me because you‘ll never have me.
Okay, I admit it. I was wrong about Anna Williams. Today I have just seen her dreaded Playboy spread and I must say, she looks..... pretty damn good. I don’t know if it’s the endless hours of airbrushing or if maybe they really are miracle workers down at Playboy. Either way, if you haven’t seen it yet, here it is. I should warn you though, brace yourself and if you are wondering, it is safe for work also.
Never looked better right?
Over the past few weeks you will have no doubt noticed that I have been very rarely seen. The reasoning is simple, about six weeks ago I broke a bone in my right foot and it hurt like hell. Last Wednesday was the first time I was able to be at ringside since it happened and I’m happy to announce that I have come through it without re-aggravating the injury like was feared. I would like to thank my very expensive doctors who dedicated the last six weeks of their lives to my right foot and it’s recovery. When you have five doctors who each cost per hour more than you make in a year looking after you, you’re bound to make a quick recovery but I guess it also helps that I’m simply brilliant. During that time off I have been watching Adrenaline Rush and I have been watching my future “challengers” and believe me, I use that term very loosely when it comes to these abominations.
First up is Elke. Absolute freak who looks a little like the homeless woman I passed yesterday morning on route to getting my hair done. The only difference was the homeless woman has better hair. Seriously, green? What the hell were you thinking? Until you get that rats nest atop your head sorted out, I wont be even looking at you again, let alone stepping into the ring with you. Next up is the transvestite looking Vikki Venom. With a name as lazy as Vikki Venom you just know she is going to be a pretty awful wrestler and sure enough, Vikki proved it in her debut before acting like a coward in her second match and refusing to tag in. Personally, I would never do that but then again I am the definition of perfection. Thirdly is Ashley Adams. At first I thought maybe she could be good but she soon made that thought vanish when she got her ass handed to her by Elke of all people. Ashley, hun, you have a very long way to go before you can step into the ring with me, I don’t deal with amateurs. The fourth and most interesting one is Lyssa. She is somewhat attractive if you like hookers but other than that I don’t have anything to go on. Well, actually I did pick up one little thing and that is that she is very easily distracted. If by some miracle she gets to wrestle me at some point I’m sure I could just throw a dollar at her and she would be in her usual position, flat on her back ready to take everything and anything.
So, to sum up for those of you who couldn’t read all that. Four new wrestlers, zero new challenges. Elke is no challenge, Vikki Venom is no challenge, Ashley Adams is no challenge, Lyssa is no challenge, Toxic Rain especially is no challenge. Not a single woman on the CWA roster is anywhere near my level of abilities and to be honest, it’s getting a little boring. Girls, you really need to step it up if you want to face the greatest woman who ever lived anytime soon.
Daren Storm says:
All day today I have been asked two questions and I am getting sick of answering them so I’m going to do it one more time and afterwards, anyone who asks me will be getting knocked the hell out.
Question one: How do you feel about your own partner eliminating you on Wednesday night.
Answer: How do you think I feel. I’m pissed off that he was so jealous of me that he would screw me out of my title shot. Axl then went missing after the show so I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to him yet. But when I do, I’ll want answer’s myself and they damn well better be good. I’m sick of carrying his ass.
Question two: How do you feel about Ultimate Pain returning.
Answer: It’s no secret that Adrenaline Rush has been a little light on established names the past few weeks but I really don’t see Pain as the solution to it. True, he was once a great champion but he had the right people around him at the time. He doesn’t have that now. Plus, he hasn’t aged all that well either. The last time we seen him he needed to be helped to the back after a match with the cry baby Joey Nicholas. The sad part is, he won that match. Imagine what he would have been like if he lost! I wouldn’t be surprised if Pain needed to be wheeled down to the ring next Wednesday due to his participation in the Rumble match.
I would also like to congratulate Mr. Showtime on winning that match. When it came down to Showtime, Pain and Arsen I was fearing the worst but luckily for CWA, the ego’s of Arsen and Pain collided and Showtime took advantage. It’s a shame so few people knew who Showtime was before the PPV but I guess that is to be expected when only 15 people watch High Voltage each week compared to the millions that watch Adrenaline Rush.
So, in closing. Axl you better show up on Wednesday because I want answers and once again, they better be good.
Daren Storm says:
I know it's a rarity, but I have just been told that something very interesting is going to happen on High Voltage tonight. Normally, High Voltage is nothing more than a cure for insomnia but tonight I have been assured will be different, despite the fact that the main event is a match that no-one on earth has any interest in actually seeing. But, I trust my source and as a result am willing to torture myself by actually watching the show just to see what happens at the end. It better be worth it, I could be watching the brand new Best of The Future DVD that will be coming out at the end of the week instead.
Speaking of that magnificent DVD release, it's three discs containing all the best of the absolute best, it's what every kid wants for Christmas and I'm pleased to announce that I have seven copies. I could give them away but, I don’t want to. Go out and buy it you cheap asses!
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